b-party date conflict...

vk2204

My sister, the MOH wants to throw me a bachelorette party. We were looking at dates and decided on March 23rd. My wedding is April 13th. She started to spread the word to my cousins and some of the bridal party. Last night she made a private fbook event for bridesmaids only to see if anyone had ideas. This morning I wake up to a text from my sister who got a message from one of my other BM's asking to change the date because it is her daughters 2nd birthday. I feel like a d!ck because I should have remembered that, but when looking at possible dates, we just said the weekend before Easter will work best.

I don't know what to do. One of the other girls already took the 23rd off work (switched weekends to work the 16th). I don't want to do Easter weekend, or the weekened before the wedding. If we make it the 16th, the one BM cannot attend. The daughers bday party will be during the day and my party obviously wouldn't be until that evening but that still sucks.

So, what would you guys do? Ask the one BM to see if she can switch her weekends back? Or just keep the date the same. Seriously this blows.

ETA: We could possible make it the 9th, but that is over a month before the wedding. I really don't care as long as it isn't the weekend before. Does it matter how early it is?

Christine9866

Personally I would do what works best for me... I know it stinks bc one of your girls will not be able to make it but I would just explain to her the schedule and what time you guys are acually going out maybe when she knows that she will be able to work around the bday party.

[Deleted User]

I'm doing mine March 7-10 in Charleston and my wedding is April 27th. I didn't want it too close to the wedding because people have to travel for both the b-party and wedding(everyone is scattered). I also have to go to Pittsburgh the first weekend in April for my bridal shower so yea...all of my stuff is pretty spread out but I'm okay with that. You could ask the one friend how difficult it would be to switch back her work schedule and go from there. I agree with Christine, you have to make it easy on yourself.

Blondy214

I am having a similar issue going between 2 weekends (March 2nd and March 9) But it looks like its going to be March 9th, and the wedding is April 13, so I don't think that is too early. We decided on that because a lot of the bridal party are still in college and that weekend aligns with their spring break. 

I would check with the friend who's having the birthday party for her daughter and see if she will still be able to make it after the birthday party ends . If not, then I would consider asking the one who is working if she can switch. If she can't then maybe you can change it to March 9th. 

jesslamb830

Is your BM who has the birthday party for her daughter around the area that the b-party will be held...because I know after my daughters birthday party she was out cold by like 7 o'clock from all the excitement...so could she maybe make it to both considering the child will probably be sleeping anyways? otherwise I don't think it matters how soon you have it we are all kind of in the area where it could start being anytime now!!  Good luck!

vk2204

Their kids usually stay up later than I do on average lol, so I doubt they will be asleep before she would have to leave. We all live in the same area, so distance really isn't an issue. But for the kids' birthdays they usually have people stay for the remainder of the evenings to hang out. That is why it is hard because I am usually one of the ones that gets invited to stay. ALSO, another of my BM's is the mom's sister, so the birthday is for her niece so it would inconvenience her as well.

I can't ask my friend to try and switch weekends again, so the 16th is out. She did say the 9th works for her. So as long as I get a confirmation from my cousin and my FSIL the 9th will have to do.

Thanks ladies!

ChiGirl2013

An all-day birthday party for a 2 year old?  That's kind of..... overkill.  Does she not have a husband that could take over around dinner time so she can slip out and attend the b-party?  I mean, most of the kids will be gone by the time she needs to leave for the b-party so why can't her husband handle things?

I wouldn't go asking everyone to switch their schedules to accommodate a 2 year old's birthday party.... and I have a young child myself.  That's just ridiculous.  No 2 year old's birthday party needs to last from sunup to well past sundown.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Your party was already planned, people took off work, etc.  She probably hasn't even planned her menu or even bought invitations yet - let her switch HER party weekend.  Yours was planned first.  We've had my daughter's birthday anywhere from 4 weeks before to 3 weeks after her actual birthday, depending on what works for our guests, and then we just do something fun with our little family on the day of her actual birthday.  It's not like a 2 year old is going to remember, or even care, when her birthday party was held.

tiny speck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_b-party-date-conflict?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:27385105-5a34-4eea-9719-a0648bae1e0aPost:7677d3e1-46af-4215-8620-297a645edbd8">Re: b-party date conflict...</a>:
[QUOTE]An all-day birthday party for a 2 year old?  That's kind of..... overkill.  Does she not have a husband that could take over around dinner time so she can slip out and attend the b-party?  I mean, most of the kids will be gone by the time she needs to leave for the b-party so why can't her husband handle things? I wouldn't go asking everyone to switch their schedules to accommodate a 2 year old's birthday party.... and I have a young child myself.  That's just ridiculous.  No 2 year old's birthday party needs to last from sunup to well past sundown.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Your party was already planned, people took off work, etc.  She probably hasn't even planned her menu or even bought invitations yet - let her switch HER party weekend.  Yours was planned first.  We've had my daughter's birthday anywhere from 4 weeks before to 3 weeks after her actual birthday, depending on what works for our guests, and then we just do something fun with our little family on the day of her actual birthday.  It's not like a 2 year old is going to remember, or even care, when her birthday party was held.
Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

I would tend to agree with all of this.

vk2204

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_b-party-date-conflict?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:27385105-5a34-4eea-9719-a0648bae1e0aPost:7677d3e1-46af-4215-8620-297a645edbd8">Re: b-party date conflict...</a>:
[QUOTE]An all-day birthday party for a 2 year old?  That's kind of..... overkill.  Does she not have a husband that could take over around dinner time so she can slip out and attend the b-party?  I mean, most of the kids will be gone by the time she needs to leave for the b-party so why can't her husband handle things? I wouldn't go asking everyone to switch their schedules to accommodate a 2 year old's birthday party.... and I have a young child myself.  That's just ridiculous.  No 2 year old's birthday party needs to last from sunup to well past sundown.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Your party was already planned, people took off work, etc.  She probably hasn't even planned her menu or even bought invitations yet - let her switch HER party weekend.  Yours was planned first.  We've had my daughter's birthday anywhere from 4 weeks before to 3 weeks after her actual birthday, depending on what works for our guests, and then we just do something fun with our little family on the day of her actual birthday.  It's not like a 2 year old is going to remember, or even care, when her birthday party was held.
Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

Well the birthday party technically wouldn't be all day, it would be in the afternoon for the kids/family and usually people stay to hang out for the remainder of the evening. That is how it has been for both of their kids parties. So that would mean she would be leaving the 'after-party' part. As for who's was planned first, the 23rd is the actual birthdate, so even I would assume it would be on that day.

The way she worded the message was asking if it was set in stone because that is the day of the party. She said she doesn't want to miss any of the bach party but if the date can be changed it would make everything easier. Also, if the date cannot be changed she will try to make it work.

So yeah, I feel bad and it sucks.

dani1361

do it the weekend that works best for you. A two year olds birthday is important, but they can make that a morning/afternoon thing. and be done with it by 4 at the latest! Thats plenty of time to get ready for your evening events! Im doing mine the weekend before the wedding, just because all my bridesmaids will be in town that weekend anyway, so its cheaper for them to do it then!

ChiGirl2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_b-party-date-conflict?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:27385105-5a34-4eea-9719-a0648bae1e0aPost:beb6cb7d-3c4a-4521-b442-8dbb0f35656f">Re: b-party date conflict...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: b-party date conflict... : Well the birthday party technically wouldn't be all day, it would be in the afternoon for the kids/family and usually people stay to hang out for the remainder of the evening. That is how it has been for both of their kids parties. So that would mean she would be leaving the 'after-party' part. As for who's was planned first, the 23rd is the actual birthdate, so even I would assume it would be on that day. The way she worded the message was asking if it was set in stone because that is the day of the party. She said she doesn't want to miss any of the bach party but if the date can be changed it would make everything easier. Also, if the date cannot be changed she will try to make it work. So yeah, I feel bad and it sucks.
Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

Just because she has done it that way for her other kids doesn't mean that it HAS to be that way for every child, every single birthday.  (I actually prefer NOT to have the party on dd's actual birthday because we have our own traditions for just the 3 of us that I don't want 75 people involved in.  But I know everyone is different.)  I don't know.  I think if she REALLY wanted to be at your b-party, she'd say "OK, we can do the party from 11-5 and if people want to stay longer, they can stay with DH because I'll be at your b-party."  Especially since it sounds like she has the parties at her home, not a venue that she'd have to rent.  It sux for you, and it sux even more that she is putting you in the middle of something that she can easily remedy herself.  I don't know.  I think it's kind of rude of her to ask you to change one of your wedding events to accommodate her 2 year old, but that's just me.  Hopefully, you can find a solution that works for everyone.

Christine9866

If the 9th is not going to cause any stress on you and works for everyone then go with it.

 My sisters for a little bit were keeping me in the loop with b-party planning and I finally had to remove myself. They kept talking to me about how they were having a hard time hearing back from people, not getting money from people etc.  I just told them I could not be involved anymore! I gave them all the girls numbers. They were obviously okay with this and reassured me that everything would work out and understood why I didn't want anymore involvement. They were keeping me in the loop bc they thought thats what I wanted, but in turned I got super stressed!

vk2204

Thank you all for your responses. I do feel that it was kind of rude of her to ask for the date to be changed. But oh well. My sister contacted everyone and the 9th works so we changed in. I don't want to be involved in anything that doesn't directly involve my actual wedding day lol. All of this other stuff is too stressful! It is funny though, the mom's sister (one of my BM's) chose her wedding date as my sister's birthday... I should ask her if it would be too much trouble to change it