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April 2013 Weddings

Does it really have to look a lot like Christmas?

Y'all, I am dreading going home for the holidays.  Okay, maybe not so much going to my home but going to HIS home.  I'll be doing a ton of wedding stuff while we're visiting my family.  However, we have idle time when we go to Pittsburgh...ugh.  His mom has been sending me lots of emails today trying to get me to change my mind on certain things.  Cocktail napkins, okay whatever, I don't care if the paper is blue and there's silver monograms or cream paper and blue monograms, sure cool, whatevs.  However, tonight she recommended that the BMs all wear the same shoes since the dresses are short.  I'm sorry but I always hated looking like a clone when I was a BM in the past so I purposely told the girls to get whatever flat silver shoes they wanted and whatever pearl jewelry they wanted because I wanted them to get something affordable that they'll use again.  I told her all of this and sent her a pic of bridesmaids in short dresses with different shoes to make an impact.  I'm just frustrated because she's constantly challenging my decisions when she has no idea why I've chosen what I've chosen.  Thankfully my mom is only helping when asked.  

So yea...I'm not super stoked to go up there.  Grrrrr

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Re: Does it really have to look a lot like Christmas?

  • I would take lots of naps when you are there whenever you have some idle time.  Good luck!
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  • Just tell her "I'm on vacation, and I've also taken a vacation from wedding planning.  It's been stressful and I need a break for a few days.  Thanks for understanding and for not adding any more stress to my shoulders." 

    By the way, I'm not a fan of the matchy-matchy BM's either.  But that was how it was done back in their day.
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  • Can you make stuff to do? Last minute holiday shopping, borrow a car to go look at lights stuff like that? At least you live far away, my inlaws are 30 minutes away visit often and my FMIL has taken to calling me and emailing me every. single. day.  
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  • We'll be up visiting his family after Christmas so I'm not sure how much we'll be able to do holiday-wise.  I keep asking FI if he wants to meet up with any high school friends or former coworkers ;-)  His parents are throwing a New Year's party while we're there.  Every time we go up there, they throw a party, which translates to FI and I doing almost all of the work to prepare for said party.

    FI and I discussed it last night and decided that we're sneaking out on our own for a date night while we're visiting each family so we can maintain our sanity and actually get some alone time.  I'm so glad he inherited most of his traits from his father ;-)

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  • At least you FMIL wants to be part of the wedding, my FFIL is against the entire thing. Even if they are challenging your opinion, beliefs and driveing you up a wall they want to be there, I don't have that luxury, when we told his father at easter dinner his father threw a fit and left the room, and his brothers have been trying to get him to break up with me since we got together 4 YEARS AGO! Its not that they don't like me, but they think he can do better in the looks department. They have told em this to my face. 

    Just keep in mind that he loves you, and you love him, and that in the end all this BS will be worth it.

  • I feel your pain! My mom is having a freak-out about the "safety" of the chiavari chairs our venue is providing us with, at no extra charge. They are their standard chairs, and they don't have any alternatives for gatherings of over 50 (our wedding will probably be just over 100). They're a little rickety, but they've promised to tighten them before the event. My mom is terrified that the chairs may collapse and someone might get hurt--and therefore sue. I think they would sue the venue, and not US, but whatever. She said "We'll talk about it while you're home over Christmas," and I said, "No we won't. If you want different chairs, call a party rental company and rent 100 chairs." I'm worried she's going to turn this into a huge fight, but we can't afford to rent chairs when our venue is providing us with them for FREE, and I don't feel like dealing with the added stress and hassle, so if she wants them--she has to take care of it.

    I think my mother is a momzilla.
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