I need some advice...

Blondy214

I have a friend who I have been friends with about 10 years, since we were in middle school. We aren't as close now as we once were, but we still keep in touch on Facebook and talk on the phone every once in a while and try to get together when I am in town. I thought about asking her to be in the WP because she is my oldest friend, but I decided against it because like I said earlier, we are not as close now as we once were. 

She got married about 5 years ago. It wasn't a formal wedding at all (it was in her living room). I was one of about 6 people there, and I signed their marriage paper as one of the witnesses (I was essentially the maid of honor, but without the title, because they had a very informal wedding and a very short engagement). So at one point in time, we were very close.

Anyway, we sent them a save the date back in August or whenever we sent them out. I saw on Facebook today that her husband bought concert tickets in Colorado (we live in Florida) for the same night as my wedding.

I'm not really sure what to do. I think that she probably doesn't realize it is the same night as the wedding. I would really like her to be there. I'm thinking about sending her a private message and asking if they were planning on coming and reminding her of the date. But I don't want it to seem like I expect her to be there. (Even though I actually do kind of expect her to be there, and I have said in the past that I would be shocked if she doesn't come). 

I realize that the world does not revolve around my wedding, but I can't help that this kind of upsets me because like I said we sent them a save the date and I feel like if it was something that was important to her she would remember about it. 

I don't know. Advice?

tiny speck

That kinda sucks, I'm sorry. I think with the wedding so close now though there's no need to send her a message reminding her of the date; surely you'll be sending invitations out within the next month or so. Also, is there a possibility that the husband bought the tickets for himself and a friend and she's still planning on coming to the wedding?

Blondy214

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:933d44c4-c07a-4a8d-8d7b-8d034c567d0fPost:2816b6d3-14bb-46de-821b-9e0432e60769">Re: I need some advice...</a>:
[QUOTE]That kinda sucks, I'm sorry. I think with the wedding so close now though there's no need to send her a message reminding her of the date; surely you'll be sending invitations out within the next month or so. Also, is there a possibility that the husband bought the tickets for himself and a friend and she's still planning on coming to the wedding?
Posted by tiny speck[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Thanks. That's what I was thinking too. She'll be getting an invitation to my bridal shower any day now which may jog her memory, and you're right we are sending invitations out within the next month. <div>
</div><div>He posted a photo of the receipt to her on Facebook and asked if she would be his date to the concert, so I'm fairly certain he bought them for the two of them to go together. </div></div>

tiny speck

Aw, too bad. Well, in any case you never know if she might change her mind when/if she realizes it's the day of your wedding. I'm sorry you had to see that on FB... I don't understand why people post everything on there. Like he couldn't have waited until the next time he saw her to mention it? They're married after all! (sorry, end of mini FB rant)

[Deleted User]

Boo :-/  Yea, I probably wouldn't send her a message.  Maybe you can just wait it out until she gets the bridal shower invite and see if she decides not to go to the concert after all.  I don't know how big your wedding is going to be but hopefully she can at least come to the bridal shower.  You'll probably get more one-on-one time with her there than at the wedding, if that's any consulation.  Good luck and I hope she remembers!!

jakigaudet

I would email her now and just tell her how excited you are to see her. She might sell those tickets to make it happen. I just don't think you should wait, she is a good old friend and it would be totally normal for you to reach out to her to confirm and share excitement. 

ChiGirl2013

She got your save the date, and she's a grown adult.  There's no need to call or contact her to remind her a second time of the wedding date.  If she even considered going to the wedding, she would have put the date on the calendar right away.

Maybe she just doesn't plan on coming, and there's really no way you can force her to do something she doesn't want to do.  After all, you said yourself that you're not close anymore.  If I got an invite to someone's wedding that I only talked to on facebook and saw only once or twice a year, I probably wouldn't go, either.  It sucks, but that's what happens when friends drift apart.  She's not making her decision to attend/not attend based on your friendship 10 years (or even 5 years) ago - she's making it based on your friendship NOW..... and it doesn't sound like you're all that close.  Consider her a no, and don't harass her about it.  You don't want to sound whiny and desperate.

blondii428

I would absolutely feel hurt if this happened to me. Have you already sent an invite? I would probably just wait and see if she RSVPs. If she can't make it then try to remember that it's your day and all that really matters is how you enjoy it, not necessarily who is there.

Blondy214

Thanks ladies. I know that you are right. I guess its just hurtful that she wouldn't come. I will just send her an invitation and see what happens.