disillusioned

melicifant

I am traumatized. I have been poking around on other message boards here on TheKnot and I am stunned by how rude people can be. I am glad this board is not like that. Thank you.

vk2204

While I do agree with you that some people's delivery can be unnecessarily rude, I do think that the advice given is really great. Most people planning get 'wedding tunnel vision' and they come up with this idea they think is oh so wonderful when in reality it is pretty awful, and 99% of the time against etiquette. They reply with their advice and if it is not what the OP (original poster) wanted to hear, they get very defensive, and in turn the advice givers will lay it out in a more harsh way.

If people actually took the time to read the other posts they will usually find the answer they are looking for. But most think their situation is so unique that it warrents a different response, which is not the case. It is only unique to the poster because their feelings are involved.

ChiGirl2013

I honestly believe that weddings bring out the worst in people.  People who are ordinarily kind and friendly can turn into a Bridezilla at the drop of a hat over the (seemingly) silliest thing.  But to them, it's the end of the world. 

We are lucky to have wonderful and polite ladies here.  However, as weddings approach, I have no doubt that you might find a snippy post or reply here and there.  That doesn't mean they're bad people, it just means that the stress is getting to them.  I've seen it happen before. The week before my sister's wedding, I actually started a list of creative ways to do away with her because she turned into the nastiest, most hateful person I had ever seen - but before that, she had been my best friend.  (Obviously, I had no intention of harming her, but making the list helped me deal with the monster she had become.  I still wonder if it's possible to hold someone's head under a chocolate fountain.  lol)

Then again, there ARE a small handful of people who were just born nasty.  I tend to avoid them.  I like our board, and for the most part, I stay here.  The DIY (do it yourself) board is really nice, though, if you need help in that area.

allychase

I used to think the way you did. Stick around, and you'll see the advice they're giving is really helpful. The way they dish it out is sometimes inappropriate and rude but that's just how it is on here.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_disillusioned?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:a9316dd9-1637-4420-8a48-f1e00c5cf1a4Post:815c5000-e7ed-4b18-81d5-0c8ce293b3f2">Re: disillusioned</a>:
[QUOTE] (Obviously, I had no intention of harming her, but making the list helped me deal with the monster she had become.  I still wonder if it's possible to hold someone's head under a chocolate fountain.  lol)
Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

I thought this was relevant (<a href="http://urlybits.com/2012/02/cockatiel-really-loves-chocolate/" rel="nofollow">link</a>)

melicifant

I love to Pollyanna things. I really do but the board that made me cringe didn't involve advice it involved just rudeness, mostly by people already married.
Bride says bm are wearing shoe x but moh wants to wear shoe y instead. The advice was not much more than other women exclaiming how much they hate shoe x and how it is just an ugly shoe. Seriously, insulting the shoe had nothing to do with getting moh to wear it.
Then a bride asked about how to word the STD that it was just a reception because the ceremony would be another day for totally legit reasons. The responses included insults and telling her that in no way was that a wedding reception she was just planning a "pretty princess day" and it was rude to do that.
These are not offering advice, they are just personal attacks.

I can have bad days. Today is one of them. But seriously, you can tactfully tell a bride that a bridesmaid's picture with all the bm mooning the camera might not be a great idea. You don't have to tell her that her dress is ugly instead of addressing the issue.

ChiGirl2013

LOL von!!!!!  LOVE IT!  I guess if you can dip a live cockatiel in chocolate (with its mouth open, no less) then anything is possible!  :-)

vk2204

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_disillusioned?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:a9316dd9-1637-4420-8a48-f1e00c5cf1a4Post:08903649-755d-46e3-b503-a5df39305272">Re: disillusioned</a>:
[QUOTE]I love to Pollyanna things. I really do but the board that made me cringe didn't involve advice it involved just rudeness, mostly by people already married. Bride says bm are wearing shoe x but moh wants to wear shoe y instead. The advice was not much more than other women exclaiming how much they hate shoe x and how it is just an ugly shoe. Seriously, insulting the shoe had nothing to do with getting moh to wear it. Then a bride asked about how to word the STD that it was just a reception because the ceremony would be another day for totally legit reasons. The responses included insults and telling her that in no way was that a wedding reception she was just planning a "pretty princess day" and it was rude to do that. These are not offering advice, they are just personal attacks. I can have bad days. Today is one of them. But seriously, you can tactfully tell a bride that a bridesmaid's picture with all the bm mooning the camera might not be a great idea. You don't have to tell her that her dress is ugly instead of addressing the issue.
Posted by melicifant[/QUOTE]

I only saw the responses from the BM Shoe thread. And I agree that the very first response was kind of dumb. Who cares if you like the shoe or not, you are not in the wedding. But if your MOH does not like the shoe, then either you let her wear what she wants or purchase it for them, still if I absolutely hated it I may not even wear it then.

Regarding PPD (pretty princess days) there are VERY few legit reasons to have one. Just because it is beneficial for insurance does not mean you get a wedding do over. If I didn't know (or heck even if I knew) that the 'wedding' I was attending was fake and just for show, I would be very upset. If I knew beforehand I would not attend. It is gift grabby and just plain rude. Why do you need 2 weddings? Stuff like that I do not understand.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_disillusioned?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:a9316dd9-1637-4420-8a48-f1e00c5cf1a4Post:49d7aee0-bc14-4047-8ed8-d69bc7441349">Re: disillusioned</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL von!!!!!  LOVE IT!  I guess if you can dip a live cockatiel in chocolate (with its mouth open, no less) then anything is possible!  :-)
Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

I forget when I first saw that but it's definitely one of my go to internet pics when I need a laugh!

jakigaudet

OMG I totally agree. I was disgusting reading all the nasty crap on the knot message boards. I am so happy I'm not alone. I was checking the boards for a couple nights in a row and I would tell my FI the stuff ppl were writing. I felt like I didn't even need to watch trashy dramas on TV but I was getting a fare dose on the knot.

I stopped checking the main message board and I'm only sticking to this one from here on out. Ppl are miserable out there!

melicifant

I wouldn't want to see a fake wedding either. Would I get fake cake with that?

LuckyGirl1713

I agree that the advice is sometimes true and solid but the delivery of that advice is rude and nasty.  I seriously doubt these rude women would say half of the things they say online to someones face.