Ahhhhhhhh

shanding4787

I am trying to hard not to yell at someone right now. FI's parents and his grandma have asked me numerous times over the past week if they can add people to the guest list after I asked them THREE times in December if they names I had down for them were final. They said yes every time... now with FFIL being in the hospital, all of these people are coming out of the woodwork that they just HAVE to have there. Ummmmm no. No no no. For one, FI and I don't know them at all, for two, we are already over capacity for our venue and for three, I have a good 30+ family members I'm not able to invite because FI's guest list is so outrageous.

Sorry... I just had to vent. They are driving me nuts.

tiny speck

That's crazy; I would be so annoyed especially since you asked them last month! Why can't people realize no means no?!!

[Deleted User]

I have a similar problem.  I really can't wait until those invites go out and the RSVPs start coming back so I can tell FMIL yes or no she can't add more people.  I'll probably just say no though, haha.  Seriously, we can't have over 150 budget-wise and we invited 255.  If she was helping us pay for more than just the invites and a few things here and there, I'd be more open to inviting more people but it's just up to FI and I.  

Can you get your FI to handle his parents?  That's what I've been doing.  Good luck!

jakigaudet

I feel SO LUCKY that both sides of our family haven't asked for a single person to come to the wedding. Actually that isn't true, my brother asked if his ex wife was invited/can she come. That was a bit strange since he is dating someone new, but whatever. 

So sorry, Shanding. That just ain't cool. You deserve to scream!

shanding4787

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_ahhhhhhhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:b9bee6f8-7129-4d9d-a0e1-366d6f7910b2Post:34cdfb13-0feb-436d-aa54-f057986ff486">Re: Ahhhhhhhh</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a similar problem.  I really can't wait until those invites go out and the RSVPs start coming back so I can tell FMIL yes or no she can't add more people.  I'll probably just say no though, haha.  Seriously, we can't have over 150 budget-wise and we invited 255.  If she was helping us pay for more than just the invites and a few things here and there, I'd be more open to inviting more people but it's just up to FI and I.   Can you get your FI to handle his parents?  That's what I've been doing.  Good luck!
Posted by lch0708[/QUOTE]

He has tried. But with them things go in one ear and out the other, so he's stopped wasting his breath.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_ahhhhhhhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:b9bee6f8-7129-4d9d-a0e1-366d6f7910b2Post:ea97a1ba-441e-4ae1-bd7c-4576dc54a8f3">Re: Ahhhhhhhh</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ahhhhhhhh : He has tried. But with them things go in one ear and out the other, so he's stopped wasting his breath.
Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ughhh!!!  My family is very hands off but willing to jump in and help whenever they are asked.  FI's family is the exact opposite but mostly his mom.  I know she means well and she doesn't want to offend anyone by not inviting them but we can't afford to pay for all of her friends and family.  Luckily, they do listen to FI if he has to lay down the law.  Originally, the list she gave me put us over 300 people on the invite list.  FI had to get on the phone with his mom a couple of hours for about 3 nights in a row to decide who they could cut.  Sheesh! </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck, I will keep the faith for ya!!

</div>

ChiGirl2013

Tell them you'll gladly add them to the "waiting list" behind the 30 relatives that you have actually met that you had to cut due to their original list being so long the first time around.   

vanityink

The same thing is happening to me! My FMIL gave me an original list when we were sending out save the dates which was much bigger than my mom's, but now she's looking at it going 

"Can we add X and Y, we could swap them for Z." Um, no, they got a save the date already. And my mom (who alwasy was like "I'd rather you fill up your guest list with your friends than mine") is suddenly wanting to add a dozen more people. Add that to all of Fi's friends arguing they should get +1s when they're all chronically single and we'd have a guest list nearly double the original one. Just not going to happen with our venue/budget!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_ahhhhhhhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:b9bee6f8-7129-4d9d-a0e1-366d6f7910b2Post:899f3416-6381-4d5e-8604-6ffe4090cc6c">Re: Ahhhhhhhh</a>:
[QUOTE] Add that to all of Fi's friends arguing they should get +1s when they're all chronically single and we'd have a guest list nearly double the original one. Just not going to happen with our venue/budget!
Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha, yea I've had a few of my guy friends text me asking if they can add a date.  My response is simply, "I'm sorry but we're trying to keep the numbers down.  If we get a lot of no's I will definitely keep your new girlfriend in mind!"  They seem satisfied with that answer :-)

</div>

KiwiKelly87

I feel your pain!  I started asking my Mom and FMIL for their guest lists before last Easter, when did I receive them? September! I had to beg for these lists from both of them, much more so from his family though.  I sent out save the dates as soon as I received the guest list and then the next 10 times I saw my FMIL she gave me additional guests that "had" to be there and told me I needed to send the save the date out that week because she had told them to keep their eye out for it!  Luckily we had the room in our venue and budget for these additions but still, I'd like to know exactly where my count is at!  I'm sending out our invites in February and before I do I think I'm going to sit with my Mom and FMIL one last time to make sure that what I have is the end all be all for my guest list.