Bridesmaids gifts - help!! (sorta long - sorry!)

[Deleted User]

I'm basically panicking about bridesmaids gifts. I know everyone on here says shop like it's their birthday, but I am TERRIBLE at buying birthday gifts. It ALWAYS stresses me out and makes me feel awful, so I usually just go with offering to take someone out to dinner/drinks or cooking for them and buying them a bottle of wine. And while all my girls would, I'm sure, appreciate a bottle of wine or some homemade treats, I'd really like to get something that would not be consumed and gone (and, knowing them, they would too...they all like keeping mementos of special occasions).

So, initially I was thinking necklaces. NOT necessarily to be worn at the wedding (though if they want to - whatevs...I really don't have a preference), but just because I know they all wear jewelry and would probably all appreciate something like that. Plus, I'm not too bad at picking jewelry so it seemed a good fit. I really love little initial necklaces (I have a couple I wear constantly) and I saw some I loved on Etsy, but now I'm worried that that's too...matchy? Or they won't like it? So, then I thought of getting charm necklaces, but a different charm for each girl (not even same designer...just like, a bird for one who likes birds, a tree for the one who's a forester, etc). But now I'm panicking that one girl might like someone else's more or think that I didn't put as much effort into theirs or something like that. Ugh...

Also, I'd like to get something a bit more for my sister/MOH because she's been awesome and planned my whole bridal shower herself. But...there, I'm at a loss too. I'd like to do something "mom" related, as she had her first son in May, but I don't know if that's lame/weird. Or a spa coupon. But she got me earrings to match the necklaces she got all her bridesmaids for my MOH gift, so I'm not sure if she'd like something more like that...again...ugh...

Anyone have any advice? Or maybe just encouragement?

dandelionsgirl

I don't know if this will help but this is what I did/ am doing for my girls.

I got them all coach wristlets at the factory outlet for cheap.  Then I went on etsy and got them tumblers for the day of. (made by sweetsoutherncompany)

These but in my colors.

For a little something special for my made of honor I am paying for her hair and make up.

I just shopped for things that I would like.  I also ran a few ideas past my MOH to see what she liked and picked from there.  Hope this helps

[Deleted User]

I got them bracelets... they weren't very expensive, but just a little something to say thank you. We paid for the clothing for the bridal party, so I didn't feel the need to go the extra mile. I'm going to have portraits taken of us with each of the bridal party and we'll gift them a 5x7, too.

I was planning on a gift card for the MOH as an extra thank you for her planning the bridal shower and bachelorette parties, probably for Nordstrom's.

I guess I'm not very inventive, am I?

Christine9866

I made my girls personalized hangers, bought them earrings and necklaces to wear on that day but it is also something they can wear again and I am having personalized wine glasses made for them :

jls522

I bought my girls tote bags from etsy (same style, but different colors) and yoga pants from the college we all went to. Not incredibly creative, but things I know they will use!

Spunky414

Could you ask their significant others, siblings, or other friends for ideas? I like the necklaces idea as long as they all wear jewelry and don't have metal allergies. Gift buying is hard.

sis180

I'm going to get my girls a bottle of wine and am making a DIY wine label with a picture of us on one side, and another label for the back with the wedding date and a cute quote (yet to be determined). I might also get them a wine glass or maybe a cute wristlet. 

ChiGirl2013

Do NOT give your MoH "mom stuff."  Her son will be almost a year old when you get married.  The newness of a baby is gone, trust me.  And I'm sure she's looking forward to your wedding so she can be "not just a mom" for one day.  When you have kids, they consume every second of every day and most of us lose a little of our identities when we have children.  Let her NOT be a mom for just one day and don't give her a mom gift.  Please.  On behalf of moms everywhere, get her something for HER as a sister/adult/MoH, not something for her as a mom.

If you live near your MoH, maybe take her shopping with you to pick out BM gifts.  Maybe she'll have good ideas, or you will notice something that catches HER eye that you can go back and get later.

You're overthinking this and freaking yourself out.  It doesn't have to be this hard. 

jakigaudet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:ff4d35a5-b63a-402f-b4a3-45c759be5b17">Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!</a>:
[QUOTE]I made my girls personalized hangers, bought them earrings and necklaces to wear on that day but it is also something they can wear again and I am having personalized wine glasses made for them :
Posted by Christine9866[/QUOTE]

<div>What is with these personalized hangers I keep hearing so much about?</div>

allychase

In Response to Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!:[QUOTE]I got them bracelets... they weren't very expensive, but just a little something to say thank you. We paid for the clothing for the bridal party, so I didn't feel the need to go the extra mile. I'm going to have portraits taken of us with each of the bridal party and we'll gift them a 5x7, too.I was planning on a gift card for the MOH as an extra thank you for her planning the bridal shower and bachelorette parties, probably for Nordstrom's.I guess I'm not very inventive, am I? Posted by von1976[/QUOTE]

Ugh I'm sorry but this is the wrong way of thinking and approaching BM gifts. Paying for their attire isn't a gift, they needed those clothes to wear in your wedding. The gift is supposed to be a thank you for standing by your side and if they throw a bridal shower or Bach party they should ABSOLUTELY get something thoughtful and not wedding related. I'm giving my girls BM tank tops but that's because I want the photos of them in them. I'm also giving each of them something they may ask for as a gift or buy for themselves. They're doing YOU a favor, remember that when shopping for them. A cheap bracelet isn't the best thank you. Sorry if that's harsh but they deserve something nice. OP, gift cards go a long way if all else fails. You could always do something personal. I went to AC Moore and got a wooden plaque and I'm painting it blue and writing my one BM last name and wedding date. Her mom said she would love something like that. It's personal, handmade, well thought out and that's what makes a good gift. If you aren't crafty at all, a gift card for a spa or Starbucks is something any girl could use.

[Deleted User]

Thank you all for your advice and for posting what you're getting. It makes me feel a lot better and has given me some good ideas. Unfortunately, most of my bridesmaids don't live close (and those who do are currently in school/first year of residency and have no time), so I can't take them shopping. But I think have better ideas and will calm down a bit about it. As I said, gift buying always stresses me. I don't know why - just one of my mental hang ups.

ChiGirl - Thanks for your comment. Just to clarify (as rereading my post and reading yours, I don't think I was clear), I was never thinking of getting her something she'd use as a mom. More getting her earrings in her son's birthstone (which happens to match her eyes beautifully), or a beautiful locket or something with his picture in it. But, still, I can see what you're saying and will try to steer away from that and think in a different direction. Thanks for your comment.

Ally - your crafty idea sounds lovely! Unfortunately, I am completely spazzy and unable to do anything like that. We're doing very few DIY elements for our wedding and most of the ones we are doing are things that a 5 year old could probably manage. I agree with you that it shouldn't be wedding related though. I do plan on getting my girls shawls (they picked a short dress, so I'm worried they're underestimating how cold it can be in NJ in April!) and possibly engraved wine glasses to toast with while we get ready, but I'm not really considering those gifts.

Christine9866

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:b19cc729-649a-4960-b64d-b10a07fac39b">Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry! : What is with these personalized hangers I keep hearing so much about?
Posted by jakigaudet[/QUOTE]

I DIYd mine. They are wood hangers with their name in wire attached to it. I am pretty happy with how they came out, although it took a few tries!

vk2204

I gave my girls the wooden name hangers when I asked them to stand up. But other than that I am clueless as well. I suck at shopping! I am thinking that I will do a lip gloss and nail polish, and maybe a tote for everyone and then something else different to match their personalities.

redjellybean128

I bought my girls coach wristlets (from the outlet, so they were cheaper). I also bought them jewelery. It's jewelry they can definitely wear again (pearls) so I don't feel bad making that part of the gift. I also made them wire hangers and bought shawls for their dresses. I'm thinking I as one last thing I'm going to get them each and alex and ani bracelet, but that depends on what we have left in the budget.  

jakigaudet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:10444fbe-3efb-4fd2-bd21-91f3499c0d4f">Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry! : I DIYd mine. They are wood hangers with their name in wire attached to it. I am pretty happy with how they came out, although it took a few tries!
Posted by Christine9866[/QUOTE]

<div>Hmm maybe I can give this a try. Seems like a nice thing to have :)</div>

lpick21

I've had a really hard time with this, too. I think I'm going to get them monogrammed waffle robes for when we get ready. I think they'd be really cute in pictures and it's something they can use at home after the wedding. I might also get champagne flutes hand painted with their initials on them. We'll all be getting our hair done the morning of the wedding and I plan to have mimosas for them, so I think the flutes would be a cute touch.

I know a lot of people think if it's wedding-related it's not a gift, but the last wedding I was in every part of the gift was wedding-related, and I thought it was totally fine. We got monogrammed tote bags and in the were flip flops, earrings, personalized hangers, a champagne flute and a gift card for our pedicures. 

I was leaning Coach wristlets in my wedding colors, but one of my bridesmaids has one of every color already so I decided against that.

1mobags

I think I am getting one girl a GC for mani/pedi and one to her favorite breakfast place, my MOH probably one to williams Sonoma or crate and barrel because she just bought a house. I think that is fine because I gave them a necklace (the other girl earrings) when i asked them to stand with me. Paid for half the dress, all wedding jewelry and am paying for hair, makeup, and mani/pedi for the wedding. Right?????? I hope

allychase

In Response to Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!:[QUOTE]Thank you all for your advice and for posting what you're getting. It makes me feel a lot better and has given me some good ideas. Unfortunately, most of my bridesmaids don't live close and those who do are currently in school/first year of residency and have no time, so I can't take them shopping. But I think have better ideas and will calm down a bit about it. As I said, gift buying always stresses me. I don't know why just one of my mental hang ups.ChiGirl Thanks for your comment. Just to clarify as rereading my post and reading yours, I don't think I was clear, I was never thinking of getting her something she'd use as a mom. More getting her earrings in her son's birthstone which happens to match her eyes beautifully, or a beautiful locket or something with his picture in it. But, still, I can see what you're saying and will try to steer away from that and think in a different direction. Thanks for your comment.Ally your crafty idea sounds lovely! Unfortunately, I am completely spazzy and unable to do anything like that. We're doing very few DIY elements for our wedding and most of the ones we are doing are things that a 5 year old could probably manage. I agree with you that it shouldn't be wedding related though. I do plan on getting my girls shawls they picked a short dress, so I'm worried they're underestimating how cold it can be in NJ in April! and possibly engraved wine glasses to toast with while we get ready, but I'm not really considering those gifts. Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

Haha my girls picked short dresses too and were also in NJ. The last weekend of April though hopefully won't be too chilly!

mabapunta

I'm still working on my ideas. Anytime I see or think of something, I put it into a running Google Doc. (Man, I LOVE Google Docs. I have a ton of them made for wedding stuff and it makes it easy to share them with our planner and FI!)

My two best friends from college live in two different states, so it is a little trickier in thinking good items. I'm actually having the hardest time thinking of something good for my MOH because she is a very choosy person (brand-specific and stylish; very grateful and everything but I'm just worried she will have higher expectactions of me than the other two).

For one bridesmaid who just got married in November, I'm getting a handcarved stamp made for her that has a little pic of a book and two kitties with "I belong to FirstName NewLastName." She loves to read and often lends out her video games and movies so I figured it was a practical gift and a fun way to celebrate her new name.

For another bridesmaid who is really into cycling and tries to be green and recycle and such, I was thinking of finding either some piece of jewelry recycled from some part of a bicycle (she already has a spoke bracelet), or maybe an item for her bike itself (she is doing a ride across the state again this year). Or maybe something else.

For all of them I am going to make a personalized mix CD. We are all traveling for the wedding, so I thought this would be a fun way to jam out on the way home! Plus it's cheap (buying songs on iTunes and sometimes free ones on Amazon)!

I think I might also get something from Lush or The Body Shop or something for each of them, too.

I am watching their Facebook pages more closely and paying attention to what draws their eye when I do get to see them It will be okay! We will all figure it out!!

Spunky414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:fb83c102-fb0f-471f-8656-4c52cd45d702">Re: Bridesmaids gifts - help!! (sorta long - sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still working on my ideas. Anytime I see or think of something, I put it into a running Google Doc. (Man, I LOVE Google Docs. I have a ton of them made for wedding stuff and it makes it easy to share them with our planner and FI!) My two best friends from college live in two different states, so it is a little trickier in thinking good items. I'm actually having the hardest time thinking of something good for my MOH because she is a very choosy person (brand-specific and stylish; very grateful and everything but I'm just worried she will have higher expectactions of me than the other two). For one bridesmaid who just got married in November, I'm getting a handcarved stamp made for her that has a little pic of a book and two kitties with "I belong to FirstName NewLastName." She loves to read and often lends out her video games and movies so I figured it was a practical gift and a fun way to celebrate her new name. <strong>For another bridesmaid who is really into cycling and tries to be green and recycle and such, I was thinking of finding either some piece of jewelry recycled from some part of a bicycle</strong> (she already has a spoke bracelet), or maybe an item for her bike itself (she is doing a ride across the state again this year). Or maybe something else. For all of them I am going to make a personalized mix CD. We are all traveling for the wedding, so I thought this would be a fun way to jam out on the way home! Plus it's cheap (buying songs on iTunes and sometimes free ones on Amazon)!<strong> I think I might also get something from Lush </strong>or The Body Shop or something for each of them, too. I am watching their Facebook pages more closely and paying attention to what draws their eye when I do get to see them :) It will be okay! We will all figure it out!!
Posted by mabapunta[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>1. Uncommon goods has some cool bike themed stuff</div><div>2. Lush is having a buy 1 get 1 sale right now I just got a bunch of stuff for my bridesmaids and FMIL  

</div>

dani1361

Im doing the personalized book wih pictures in such for my MOH, which is also my sister, so pictures were super easy to pick! Im also doing the personalized hangers, and my other BM is getting a spa gift certificate since she has 2 kids and needs some relax time!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:873d3c72-4efa-4676-8997-7d166d5a2461">Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!: Ugh I'm sorry but this is the wrong way of thinking and approaching BM gifts. Paying for their attire isn't a gift, they needed those clothes to wear in your wedding. The gift is supposed to be a thank you for standing by your side and if they throw a bridal shower or Bach party they should ABSOLUTELY get something thoughtful and not wedding related. I'm giving my girls BM tank tops but that's because I want the photos of them in them. I'm also giving each of them something they may ask for as a gift or buy for themselves. They're doing YOU a favor, remember that when shopping for them. A cheap bracelet isn't the best thank you. Sorry if that's harsh but they deserve something nice. OP, gift cards go a long way if all else fails. You could always do something personal. I went to AC Moore and got a wooden plaque and I'm painting it blue and writing my one BM last name and wedding date. Her mom said she would love something like that. It's personal, handmade, well thought out and that's what makes a good gift. If you aren't crafty at all, a gift card for a spa or Starbucks is something any girl could use.
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

<div>I appreciate your view, but I don't agree.</div>

allychase

So you don't think you should put some thought into a gift to say thank you to the people who are standing by your side on your wedding day?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-gifts-help-sorta-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:c308aa94-6386-4881-87da-9723af84b01bPost:82492ab4-a06f-42d6-9604-7c19f77d0968">Re:Bridesmaids gifts help!! sorta long sorry!</a>:
[QUOTE]So you don't think you should put some thought into a gift to say thank you to the people who are standing by your side on your wedding day?
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

<div>No, not at all. The small gifts I bought were not bought mindlessly, they were something my fiance and I picked out together at the renaissance festival this year. </div><div>
</div><div>However, I do not agree that: wedding party gifts are mandatory (they're not, in fact); buying the wedding attire doesn't count as a gift (it does, actually); or that a gift is "cheap" just because it is small (a small gift can say thank you just as well as a large one).</div><div>
</div><div>I'm sorry if you're offended, but I don't agree and I won't be shamed into agreeing. Saying thank you is not all about money nor about buying gifts, and if my friends thought that--well, they wouldn't be my friends.</div>