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Reception Update & Advice needed

First of all, thank you to everyone who was so sweet & supportive last week.It's tougher than I could've imagined, but time is moving on with or without me I suppose.Eric & I have decided to forego the reception for 200 & take the BP (& dates), parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles to dinner after the ceremony.We are looking into some nice restaurants/steak houses that have private rooms this week.Our price pp pretty much doubles, but we lowered our count by 75% and will no longer need the decor, flowers, dj... etc.I feel much more at peace with this and we are doing all we can to make our day as un-overwhelming as possible, considering the circumstances.Advice: How do I do this with the invites? I am having them printed any day now. We still want to invite everyone to the ceremony & we realize some people may not understand. Do we just not include a reception card? Or do I need to include something to explain our decision...help!tia.

Re: Reception Update & Advice needed

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    beersnobbeersnob member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would just invite them to the ceremony and leave it at that. There is no rule saying you HAVE to have a reception. And do not feel the need to explain anything. I feel this could possibly cause more confusion with people. Just do a ceremony invite and let it be
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    eclipsethecateclipsethecat member
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    edited December 2011
    Im so glad you came back. I have been thinking of you often- I know right now you dont want to hear this/ cant fathom it, but it will get better. Your heart will heal it just takes time.Ok off of my "life goes on after trauma" speech that I too heard six million times.. :)I think what Becky suggested is fine. If people ask just have your FI explain that because of events you didnt feel a full blown party was appropriate. People will be fine with that explanation. On the plus side you wont have any crazy RSVP storys :) (I hope that made you laugh a little :) )
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    leeshab1982leeshab1982 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm glad to hear you're doing what you're comfortable with.  I think an intimate dinner with the people you are closest with is a great idea.  I would just send a regular invite for the wedding ceremony to everyone and then include a dinner invite (like a reception card) for your close friends/family.  I don't think you need to include an explanation.  I'm sure that most people already know of your circumstances and I would hope they would all be understanding and not ask questions about it.  If you're worried about giving an explanation to people who may not know, maybe you could ask a few friends and family members to kind of spread the word, just by talking to people.   
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    edited December 2011
    I think what everyone else suggested would be fine, I would imagine everyone would know the situation and would more than understand.I am glad to hear you are doing ok, my thoughts and prayers are still with you and your family. Good luck!
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    jujubee455jujubee455 member
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would be nice to include something that explains your decision... just because it is so unique. I am glad that you have come to peace with your decision, that is great! And I want to offer my continued support and thoughts and prayers!!
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    zawa0915zawa0915 member
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    edited December 2011
    i don't have any new advice to offer (i think PP's are all right :) but just wanted to say i've been thinking of you and praying for your family since learning about your situation last week. it's nice to see you back on here :)
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP and want you to know that your family is still in my thoughts. Time will heal everything. An intimate reception with family and the BP sounds like a great idea!
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    RachelCheetahRachelCheetah member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto Juju if you are comfortable with that. You don't *have* to include an explanation but I think if it's done in a tasteful and thoughtful manner, which I am sure it will, then that would be nice to include.
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    alarthamealarthame member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear this and that I missed the previous post. My thoughts will be with you as you continue to go through this. As far as the invite, I agree with pps, a ceremony invite is all that is necessary. If you want to include a small piece about the lack of reception, I think it can be tastefully executed and people would understand. Have FI or FILs field those who cannot.
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    liza0828liza0828 member
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    edited December 2011
    I would just mail a regular invitation for the ceremony, with no reception card or RSVP card. People will get the idea. Also, you can have some of your friends / family maybe spread the info by word-of-mouth that there's no reception. As the pps have said, there's no rule that you have to have a reception! For those you will be inviting to dinner, either include a card or just tell them they are invited. Good luck dear.
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    edited December 2011
    I also agree that a ceremony invite without a reception card is fine.  What you are doing is a nice idea; it's nice and intimate with closest family and friends.If anybody DOES ahve any questions as to if and where a reception is taking place, I'm sure they will call, and in that case a brief explanation should be sufficient without going into too much personal detail.Glad you are back and keeping you and your family in my prayers.
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    edited December 2011
    If you worried about loosing your deposit from your original reception hall, I'm sure they would work with you for a private dinner in one of their alternate rooms...Just a thought.I think anyone that would of been invited are aware of the situation and would understand. If they had a question, they would contact a family member that would explain further if necessary.Best wishes to you...........
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