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Stressed about the ceremony & church stuff

Neither of us belong to a church but we're spiritual and christian.  So finding a ceremony site is a bit teidious. Every demonination has its own set of rules and expectancies as you can imagine.

Well we found a place that isn't crazy demanding, doesn't mind that we are divorced, doesnt mind we are not members, and isn't requiring us to take classes. It's Christian but a little different.  So we booked it for a fair price and its nice looking.

FI parents are Catholic, mine are Baptist and super religious. My parents have recently looked more into what the churches beliefs are and want me to find a new ceremony location.

Since both set of parents are on the opposite end of the  christian religous wheel, I refuse to alienate either side fo the family by going Baptist or Catholic (cant anyways because we are divorced and  it takes a long time to get that annuled through the pope.)

Im just feeling inwardly stressed about this. Not bridezilla stressed but I dont know what to do type of stressed. The thought of researching churches all over again makes me crazy feeling and the thought of staying at the location im at now is giving me anxiety!

ugh, whats a girl to do

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Re: Stressed about the ceremony & church stuff

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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Where is this chruch? FI and I are still looking for a church we are chrisitian too and another knottie suggested a church for us but FI is making me want to choke him regarding the church so now I figure the more options I bring to him the better off I will be.

    A church is very important and I feel you 100% on not wanting to upset either side fo the family. I had to LOL at the pope comment too funny!
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    emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If the church works for you and your fiance, that is what matters.  It's not your parents or his parents that are getting married, it's you.  The church and officiant need to match your beliefs, not theirs.  This is a very personal decision and your mom doesn't seem to be understanding this.

    Tell your mom next time she brings it up, "Thanks mom but we are set on having it at XYZ church.  But I would love your help researching florists."
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    edited December 2011

    I grew up Baptist as well.  My FI is Lutheran.  I find that Lutheran's have a little bit of the Catholic feel to it, but it's not on the other side too far that myself and my parents have a problem with it.  (If that makes sense?)

    The Church is St. Matthew Lutheran in Westland.  They don't make you take any pre-marital classes or anything like that. They just accept you. The pastor is younger and more relaxed.


    Maybe being in between would suffice both sets of parents?  If you'd like more information just let me know.

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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My parents have recently looked more into what the churches beliefs are and want me to find a new ceremony location.

    Explain to your parents that you have considered 1) a religious location because it's important to both of you, plus the parents 2) because you are both divorced, your choices are limited, 3) you are not JOINING the church, just using the religious building for your wedding ceremony.

    Talk to the minister or officiant who will marry you and explain the concerns, maybe have your Mom attend so she can see that it will be a Christian ceremony, not secular (if that's the case), and the minister/officiant is not espousing their philosophy, just providing a Christian wedding ceremony.

    Best wishes.
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    edited December 2011
    thanks ladies!

    I've actually been looking at some Lutheran churches in the area. I wish I was closer to Westland! I'm thinking about checking one out this weekend, as they are having a kids fall fun day thats open to all non members and members. 

    Shesheduke, it's Renaissance Unity in Roseville (or warren cant remember if it crossed the border)
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