Michigan-Detroit

Non-invited people who BEG! Need advice!

I have an ex-coworker who is very boldly BEGGING to be invited to my wedding. Here's the background: I used to work for my FMIL at a huge doctors office. This lady was one of many women that I worked with there. So I no longer work there, but she still works with my FMIL.

She constantly texts me asking how the wedding planning is going and everything. A few weeks ago she texted something like this: "Your dress sounds beautiful. I would really love to see it in person." Then she adds "The Smith's are some of my best friends and I could just ride with them. I wouldn't even mind sitting in the way back." Then she goes as far as to give me her address "just in case it works out".

Then, last week, she texts me asking to meet for coffee and "catch up". I tried to blow her off but she was persistant. So we met at Starbucks yesterday. Sure enough, she starts talking about how she has a gluten allergy so she wouldn't even need a meal. And as we part in the parking lot she yells "I gave you my address, right?!"

Then, about an hour after I got home, I got another text: "Thanks again for meeting with me today. Honestly, you can seat me in the way back and I don't even need a meal. Let me know if it works out!" Then, this morning, I get a text "I hope you didn't think that I meant me and a guest. It would just be me!"

Has anyone else had to deal with people like this? If so, how do you deal? I don't want to be rude, but there is no way that we can invite her without including everyone at the office. I keep saying that we just don't have room, but I will keep her in mind, but the real reason is the "can of worms" sort of thing.

And another quick story: One of our neighbors (who's not invited) asked another neighbor (who IS invited) "Did I miss Caitlin's shower?" after she saw all of the cars in our driveway. What an awkward situation...

Re: Non-invited people who BEG! Need advice!

  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    OMG.  That woman needs some friends.  Um, just tell her that your venue has a capacity and both you and your FI have large families and while you'd love to have her there, it just isn't feasible.  And then stop talking about the wedding with her!!
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  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I personally have not had to deal with this, but my Mom has from our family (second cousin's mostly). I strongly suggest using Julie's advice, this is what my Mom did and has worked very well so far.
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh wow.. That is ALMOST as funny as the people who wrote in their kids on Brandy's response cards.

    She's out of control.. I had someone flat out tell me - "I know I'm invited.."
    Like - for real?? You do?

    My mom is number 10 of 12 kids.. I can't possibly invite all my aunts, uncles and cousins.. my mom isn't happy with this but of course she's not coming up with more than half of the wedding funds either.

    Luckily - We have another year.. so I'm hoping people just forget we're alive in the next 6-8 months. :-)

    Good luck with that crazy.. I would agree that you need to stop talking about the wedding with her.
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  • rak123rak123 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    OMG, that lady sounds so needy.  Seriously, who does that??  I would quit responding to her texts/calls. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice. I am going to start ignoring her. I am just the kind of person who is overly nice and can't be rude to save my life. But responding to her texts is only getting me in deeper, so I guess it's time to stop being so passive. Thanks everyone for giving me the courage!
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