Michigan-Detroit

The Planning

Living with an analytical engineer - excuse me, marrying an analytical engineer has been great. Right now we are crunching the numbers on the 14 different places we looked at last weekend to help us make the most economical decision.

It's giving me a headache.

This is the problem... We don't live in the area anymore. This is a great opportunity to see our friends and family and have them celebrate with us.
We are having a hard time because our guest list with out determining the numbers is 300+. Of course we can't afford that nor can any venue we looked at hold that many.

So...
Do you invite people that you everyone you want to see and set up inviting some for only Drinks and Dancing after the dinner? It has nothing to do with gifts by the way. If they come, that is gift enough.

Thoughts, comments and Questions.

Re: The Planning

  • whrldtravlrwhrldtravlr member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think there would be a way to invite people just for dinner without slighting them by not inviting them for drinks and dancing afterwards. That's a big part of what folks go to weddings for.
    What about having a small reception initially with the core people and then a large party at some point (on another day) to accommodate all of the people you would like to see but can't afford to invite to the wedding?
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  • terbear_86terbear_86 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    An idea that FI and I talked about at one point was doing an afternoon cake and punch reception with no alcohol, and then renting out like a bowling alley that night with pizza and beer. That way, pizza is really cheap compared to most wedding food and same with a keg, plus at a bowling alley you can say hey, I will pay up to $1000 or whatever or I will pay up until midnight. Then you have provided food and alcohol and a good time, but not at the price per head of most venues. ( Another reason we thought of this was because there are 40+ kids under the age of 8 in my family alone, and if I made the reception adult only, none of their parents/grandparents would be able to make it. But a cake/punch reception they can all attend, and those who want to party late in the night can with or without kids by their choice)

    Disclaimer: I am sure the etiquette of my above response may be off a little bit but it was a compromise we felt we could make with our families at the time. We have since decided against doing it because FI is dead set on a nighttime shindig.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not sure how you would swing inviting people to only drinks and dancing (bad etiquette). A way to get around that is to look at your guest list, make a list of about 10 questions that people should generally know about the two of you, like how long you've known each other, how you met, and other personal things. If you don't think some people can answer those questions, maybe they shouldn't be invited. We made a couple of rules for our guest list. No second cousins are going to be invited as well as no kids. And if we haven't talked to people in over a year, chances are we probably won't miss them at the wedding. It sounds harsh, but you know where your budget it and you just have to stick to it. If it weren't for our "rules" we would have over 500 people invited. That wouldn't work for 2 reasons 1) We don't have a million dollars to spend 2) our venue only holds up to 300. I have found that the guest list is the hardest part and alot of ladies may agree.

    GL! I'm sure everything will work out in the end!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all your encouragement! I am glad that I have found you all for support in planning this!
  • edited December 2011
    The Ritz Carlton in Dearborn has a ballroom that holds 400 people
  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yuck, I agree with Corinne, the guest list is the WORST part.  I just got done with ours and had to push back really hard against my mom and FMIL to get the list to a reasonable amount.

    With us, we figured out THE MAX that each side could invite and we left it to our moms to do what was needed to get our list down to that number.  For me, I have a large family, so I cut the & Guest from my cousins who don't have spouses or significant others.  We also cut some extended family.  For FI's side, they cut some neighbors and all coworkers.

    However, there are a handful of venues that hold up to 400 people if you want that as an option.
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