So for some reason, the last couple of days I am suddenly questioning every single wedding decision I have made and freaking out about it. Is this a normal thing that any of you have been through, or am I totally weird?
I can't even explain why, but I'm suddenly looking at the posts of vendor lists and doubting my location, photographer, dress, florist, band etc. For example, I chose my venue because I think it's a gorgeous building witha neutral color scheme like I wanted and it wasn't crazy expensive. BUT it's in a community center. I had zero problem with this before, I've talked to people who had their weddings there and loved it, now all of the sudden I'm freaking. And I'm agonizing about how the other venue I was seriously considering is less expensive and I went into this wedding wanting to save money. But there was a reason I didn't pick them, and that is they couldn't return any of my e-mails or voicemails, after three weeks of trying to arrange a visit I gave up and decided I'd be nervous to have them in charge of my wedding.
I wanted really cheap flowers since I don't care that much about flowers. Then I fell in love with manzanita branches, pomanders, peonies, and ranunculus. Now I'm spending 1100 on bouquets and centerpieces.
After typing this out I'm realizing that the giant knot in my stomach is definitely rooted in financial worries. Which is a bit silly since my parents are paying for the hall, food, and my dress, and FI's parents chipped in enough to pay the band, florist, and over half of the photographer. But I was having a discussion with my FI about how I wanted the nicer photography package, and he asked how much the wedding was costing anyways. And I added it up and oh my gosh. It's really not outrageous, a bit below average if anything. But I'm now experiencing a tremendous amount of guilt about spending all this money on one day.
But I WANT this one day. I want to have a great, nice wedding reception. And that is what my parents want too. In fact, whenever I try to go cheaper on something they're paying for, they typically encourage not to because they want it to be nice. But the last couple days I've just felt incredibly overwhelmed by the whole thing My FI really isn't helping at all, and that makes it a lot more difficult. If he showed even 5% as much interest in the wedding as he does about playing his guitar, I would be estatic.
Sorry girls I just needed to vent. I'm going to have a talk with FI tomorrow, I don't think he realizes how I'm feeling about all this. Hopefully I can find a way to get him to understand. When I've tried to explain it before he's just like oh you're too stressed, let's just elope. Dude, I want a wedding, I've been super excited about planning a nice wedding. I just need HELP.