Drama with Bridesmaids.....Gripe/Vent

DanielleJoe09

Ugh!  I'm sooo frustrated!   Wedding planning sucks sometimes!

I've had sooo many issues with one of my bridesmaids its unreal.

When we first got engaged I asked her to be my bridesmaid (she is fiances sister)  she says yes and has no problems. I also asked her daughter to be my flower girl. As time progresses she starts telling me how things went at her wedding, and how to do this and that. She would talk to me like I was a child!!   I hate that!!  Plus this is our wedding I'll do things my way.

So I keep having problems with her and then she sends me a message online saying cant afford to be in the wedding....Fine...thats cool with me....Less  drama...I told her when she dropped out that I would make all the plans for the flower girl dress, pick her up...drop her off....ect.

 March rolls around and I decided to make the dress appt for the girls....My FI calls her to tell her what day I had set up the appt. She tells him that she has questions for me about everything...

She then messaged me and told me that she was picking out the dress, she would call the shop and set up the appt.....she would take care of everything.....

I was SOOO MADDD.....Who are you to tell me that your picking out the Flower Girl dress for MY wedding....Further more  you have no business calling my salon and nosing around. This girl does nothing but start trouble and drama...

After all that I decided to take her daughter out of the wedding. I dont think I was asking alot from her. What was the big deal with me picking her daughter up and taking care of things and dropping her off.   I just think its crazy.....How are you gunna try to plan everything and leave the bride out of it......!!

Sry that was kinda long I just think its crazy lol.....

scarywife1026

First...and most importantly...BREATHE. lol

Are you paying for the dress? If so, she needs to chill out. After you breathe, my suggestion is to kindly tell her that you appreciate her efforts, but the flower girl dress that you're paying for (if that's the case) is already taken care of. If she still has a fit, go from there with your plan to not have her. I just feel bad for the little girl because she's probably super excited to be in the wedding & get all princess-y in a dress. Now it's over because her mom and future aunt can't agree on the dress which I'm sure she won't understand.

I'm a little confused about the logistics though. She has a problem w/ you transporting her daughter back & forth (or making arrangements)? What is her solution?

DanielleJoe09

Basically she wanted to take over and do everything herself. She wanted to make the appt, pick out the dress, and take care of all the details.  I was just upset because I'm the bride I should be picking everything out.

I've had alot more problems with her than I talked about. Basically my solution was to cut out the drama. 

Sue-n-Kevin

Sorry to hear about your troubles Danielle. Because it's your fiance's sister, can he help? Maybe run interference for you and talk to his sister and explain this wedding is about YOU and HIM and not HER????

Maybe you both can meet with the sis and find out why she wants to be in charge in this way? Do you think it's possible that you can all agree on a dress for the flower girl? I'd imagine she'd have to pick something that coincides with your color scheme, so maybe it's something you could both agree on?

Good luck. Hope it all works out.

DanielleJoe09

I havent talked to her since the big blow out. I'm just tired of the drama and all the confusion.  I originally told her that she could look around at some dresses and then I would make the final decision.  But then she just wanted to take over on everything. And to me thats just not right.

I felt bad for taking the little one out, but I had to cut down on the stress. I finally got everything worked out though. We found a diffrent flower girl and another bridesmaid to take their place.