Good and bad

The good: We've chosen a venue! Stone Creek Banquet Hall in Flat Rock. It's very pretty with lots of windows, and a pretty area for an outdoor ceremony while still having an indoor backup. Plus, the woman who runs the weddings there seems to be incredibly nice and helpful. It's such a relief to have the date and place booked!

The bad: Impending drama....ugh. My cousin, who is a bridesmaid and practically a sister to me (she lived with us during high school) is basically being an idiot. Had a baby last year with a guy way older than her who already had 3 kids and can barely make ends meet. He's also a alcoholic and I've found out some things about him that make me very worried about my cousin and her baby. After a big huge blowup that ended in him being arrested...it looks like she might be getting back together with him.

I just can't think of a single thing to say to her that isn't going to start a big fight. She doesn't get along with her mother at all (hence the living with us during high school), so they just scream at eachother about it (she'd be living with her mother if they broke up, she has nowhere else to go and cannot support herself). She usually listens to me, so I need to try to stay calm and get through to her that this guy is bad news, and that she is putting her baby through the same kind of childhood she had, and hated. I'm racking my brain for ideas on how to say this in a kind way rather than an angry one.

The other potential drama is not as bad, just annoying. My best friend from middle  and high school has become very flaky the past few years. When we do hang out I have a good time, but it's been happening a lot where of we have plans and she bails at the last minute. I'll stop making an effort, then she starts texting and wanting to hang out...then she bails again. Now she's facebooking and asking about wedding stuff and wanting to see me, and I have a feeling she thinks I'm going to ask her to be a bridesmaid...and I'm not. And I think this may hurt her feelings since we used to be so close. But she hasn't been much of a friend the last few years. And the 'omg we haven't seen eachother in forever' messages are getting a bit old, considering that last month I invited her to come see my new place, and she forgot and made other plans. Even though we'd discussed it less than 24 hours ago. And it's taking her a full month to reach out to rescheule, with no apology.

UGH! Sorry girls, think I just needed to vent on that last one.

Re: Good and bad

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    edited December 2011

    Unfortunately, your cousin is going to do what she wants regardless of how much you warn her. It sounds to me like you worry alot about others and that is not necessarily a good thing. I'm not saying that you shouldn't worry about others, but you cannot control the decisions people make. Your cousin is just going to have to find out on her own that the guy she's dating is scum of the earth.

    And your old friend will get over the fact that she's not going to be a bridesmaid. You're getting married! You have plenty of other things to worry about, trust me. If you spent your entire wedding planning time worrying about others and not wanting to hurt their feelings, your wedding wouldn't be yours. As for your cousin, maybe she'll eventually figure out that the guy is not right for her, but it really is not up to you to convince her that he is bad news. You can express your opinion, but don't be hurt if she doesn't agree with you at first. Love is blind. And I am by no means condoning this kind of relationship with your cousin and boyfriend, but she ultimately has the decision and people do stupid things for love. She'll eventually learn.

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    courtney1188courtney1188 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know you're right, Corinne. Usually my attitude about the whole thing matches what you are saying, and I try to just stay out of it while hoping my cousin will come to her senses, and not really care what the friend thinks since she hasn't been much of a friend. For some reason today I'm finding myself worring about it a lot, so thanks for the reality check there.
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