Happy Mother's Day and a mom rant..

mordacious

I called my mom to say happy Mother's Day and we were just talking. I don't remember what we were talking about but it wasn't WR at all. Out of now where, mid sentence, she tells me that she wishes I wouldn't get married! We have been engaged for over a year and she has never said anything like that. I had to hold back tears I was so upset. She said I'm too young....I'l be 28 two days after the wedding. Then she said marriage is for people who are going to have kids and I have it so good that I don't need to get married. I get what she is saying, it's not needed but it is the natural progression of things. Just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I don't want to get married.

Anyways, I'm just upset because now I feel like she isn't excited for me and I want her to be. She had two bad marriages so I think she just doesn't want that to happen to me. I'm not going to say it never will (just being realistic) but I wouldn't get married if I thought it would end up in divorce.

Anyone else have to deal with this?

stebbe81

Ugh sorry that she said that to you!   I bet you are right as to why she said it with her 2 bad marriages.  She is just trying to help I bet but it came out really really wrong.  As long as you know its a  good thing that is all that matters.  

I had something similar happen at my shower.  We had an advice jar and my mom wrote on one of the papers and said don't do it.  

KarenLee77

I haven't had to deal with it and I'm sorry you have to.  Maybe she got to thinking about how you don't want kids because it's Mother's Day.  I would just have to think if she's never mentioned anything like this before, maybe the day just got her thinking about it?  Whatever happens, good luck

JandBFall2010

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

I feel like even though the people we care about should be kind and think of our happiness they often don't. Its possible that your mom is just jealous because you are so happy and she has two failed marriages.

But even though it hurts, as long as you know you are making the right decision be happy. Also 28 is not too young. I am 28 and out of my friends who are married maybe a little older than most.

MeghanAshley00

i'm so sorry you had to deal with this. 

i did have to deal with something similar, but my mom was worried for me because i was so stressed out with planning a wedding from FL and having to deal with my ILs comments and opinions. i would call her in hysterics & she would just say... meg, you are really young (i was 23) please just make sure this is what you want and the stress is worth it. 

i think your mother is trying to push her own issues on you or maybe try to make you see where she is coming from. i would try to ignore her comments... nobody knows how you and FI feel deep inside - as long as you know it's right, that's all that matters.

Julz629

I'm so sorry she said that, and I completely understand why you are upset.  The silver lining I saw is that it sounds like she has troubles with marriage in general, and not specifically with your FI.  For me, I know I would have a tough time marrying someone my family did not approve of.  I think a good heart-to-heart (after you've calmed down) with your mom will help both of you.  I think she needs to understand why you want to get married and she also needs to accept it, whether she agrees or not.

mordacious

Yes, fortunately it has nothing to do with FI. I talked to my dad yesterday and told him what she said and he agreed with her but said it in a way that didn't completely suck.

The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. Our family is full of pregnant 20 year old, single women who have crap jobs and can't afford kids. I get a degree, buy a house and want to get married and I get crap about it. I guess I should have gotten pregnant and then decided to get married! Not that there is anything wrong with that. I'm jus saying, they have no reason to be concerned about me!

Thanks for letting me vent