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Invitation Wording

boogiedownwandaboogiedownwanda
First Comment
in New York-Hudson Valley
Hello brides! Being that I'm an "older" bride I have a different situation than most of you lovely younger brides do but I hope you might be able to give me some input to my dilemma.  I am a 36 yo with 2 boys from a prior relationship.  I really didn't want to do a big to do for my wedding since it is my second time around but my fiance wanted to since it's his first wedding.  I also didn't have a "real" wedding my 1st time so I figure it's now or never. My question is concerning the wording on the invitation.  Because my FI and I are paying for the wedding and because we're a little older we were thinking our parents names would not be on the invitations.  However, FI is now saying his mom will not be happy about that.  What should I do?  Would you include your parents names if in a similar situation?  Thanks for any input!
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Re: Invitation Wording

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    BellaSposa223BellaSposa223 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    That's tricky...okay, I think if FI's mom is gonna get upset now that her name won't go on it, your parents may get upset as well if one name is on and not hers. What if you put something along the line of "The families of Mr. BoogiedownWanda and Ms. BoogiedownWanda request your presence at their wedding...."


    Jaimie

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    boogiedownwandaboogiedownwanda
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's actually a really good idea.  But she might still have an issue since her name is not specified.  This is definitely going on my list of possibilities.  Thanks!
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    feuerrose2feuerrose2
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey Wanda,

    We just did our wording the other day and said that...
     1.  Because you have shared our lives
     2.  by your friendship and love we,
     3.  Melissa
     4.  and
     5.  Thomas
     6.  together with our parents
     7.  invite you to share...

    We are also paying for the wedding ourselves and are older, but wanted to at least mention our parents, but didn't want to do the whole son of and daughter of stuff.

    Good luck, these are difficult waters to navigate!!
    Melissa
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    sweet2324sweet2324 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Eventhough you are paying for the wedding, I think you should still mention his parents and your parents names on invitation just out of respect. The way I look at it, invitation is just a paper, and its not worth of having conflict over that. I also like how feuerrose2 wrote on her invitation. Hope it helps.

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    kristinanddankristinanddan member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Invitations dictate who is hosting, not paying, so there is no reason not to avoid conflict and put everyone's names on there.
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    rblucyrblucy
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    edited December 2011
    Could you just say Bride & Groom along with their families or will she only be happy with her name listed specifically?  I don't think that it should only reflect who pays, but it sounds like you're a little further along with life and that you are actually hosting the wedding so making it sound like the parents are hosting could be odd too.  36 is far from old but you probably know your situation best.  But if you list one name, I think you should name all parents so long as you're in touch/close with all parents.
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    wdubin122wdubin122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm 45 and paying for my own wedding and would feel silly to put our parents names on the invites.  However, if she's going to be uptight about it you are better off acknowledging all of the parents then dealing with drama.
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    MidgetteMidgette member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i am a younger bride, and we are paying for our wedding, and our parents names are not going on the invitation. Dont know if they will have a problem with it or not. 

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    meganchubsmeganchubs
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I would put "together with their parents" in there.  It shows their support even if they aren't contributing financially...

    In our situation, my mom is paying for half, my dad's paying a quarter and we're covering the rest.  But I know his parents are helping out with the shower...  and they were nice enough to let us stay with them for a little while when we first moved back up here.
    Unless either set of parents have a problem with the marriage, I don't think it would hurt to include them.

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    ssagessage member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm 37, it was my first, hubby's second and he has one child. We paid for the entire wedding ourselves.  Both are dads are deceased and i know his mom wouldn't care but mine prob. would have freaked if she was not on the invite.

    We did:

    Stephanie Smith
    daughter of Mr and Mrs Robert Smith
    and
    Richard Jones
    son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones

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    mockninemocknine member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    feuerrose2 - I used the same wording!!!

    I agree with most of the pp's- I would be more general by saying "family" or "parents" instead of actually naming FI's mother.  Hopefully she will be OK with that.  Then you won't have to feel awkward by spelling out the names of all of your parents, and she still gets what she wants!

    GL!
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    boogiedownwandaboogiedownwanda
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Thank you all so much for all of your feedback.  You guys all definitely have very valid points.  I think I will probably use "The families of Mr. BoogiedownWanda and Ms. BoogiedownWanda request.." as suggested by Jaimie and agreed on by a few others.  I think this will probably be more appropriate than "parents of" because it doesn't exclude my two boys.  Thanks gals!

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