Inviting guests for drinks only...rude or acceptable??

ek0197

FI and I are having a smallish wedding, around 60 ppl. We're having the ceremony and reception in our backyard. It's going to be very casual; more like a backyard BBQ than a wedding. The guest list is mostfly friends and a few family members. We wanted to keep it small so we didn't have to invite a lot of family that we don't like.

However, this also excludes a lot of friends too. FI had the idea of inviting some more friends for the after party. It will say on the invite that it will be after the ceremony and dinner reception; mainly that we would like them to show up for a drink or two.

Is this a weird thing to do? Would it be offensive to those only invited for drinks and not the dinner part?

All opinions are welcome!

corinne2010

I would personally not do this. My dad had invited some of his friends to come to the reception for drinks. I told him that was unacceptable so we sent them invites to come to the entire wedding.

Because you're having more of a laid back reception outside, it might not be so bad, but as a guest getting the invite for drinks only I would think that sounds gift grabby and that I wasn't important enough to share in the entire day.

Kelki

I have seen invites that go out separately that say "join us for drinks and dancing at 8pm" or something like that.

Etiquette wise, it's probably a faux pas, but you know your friends better than we do, so you know probably have an idea as to if they will be offended or not.

Julz629

I think it's rude.  If I was invited for drinks only, I would politely decline.

klreese0213

If it was a church/chapel wedding with a formal  reception to follow i would be very offended. however, it's a backyard wedding. I still think it's rude to say you can't eat with us.. but i guess maybe it's a little more acceptable.
I'd be offended but i'd still go.

emarston1

I think it's rude.  The reception is where you thank your guests for attending and just having them for drinks is not thanking them.

My feelings are that if you don't like them/know them well enough to invite them to the whole event, you shouldn't invite them to only drinks.

emily1004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_inviting-guests-drinks-onlyrude-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:8ba7041c-d8d9-4896-be81-86d649bad3c5Post:f77c1f1a-ca4b-458e-b3ad-3d38ec67fd1d">Re: Inviting guests for drinks only...rude or acceptable??</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's rude.  The reception is where you thank your guests for attending and just having them for drinks is not thanking them. My feelings are that if you don't like them/know them well enough to invite them to the whole event, you shouldn't invite them to only drinks.
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]
I agree

aliciadiane

Agreed, it is saying you are good enough to bring me a gift, but not good enough to feed you dinner.

boogerbearoriginal

Completely rude.

IMO the the ceremony is the most important part of the day - it's when you make your vows to spend your life together. I would feel slighted, and probably not attend, if I wasn't welcome to witness your ceremony. (Obviously excepting any religious requirements that don't allow witnesses).

On top of that, you aren't even welcoming them to have dinner with you?

Even if it's not your intention, it looks like you're just inviting them to get gifts. If you want to go out and have a drink with your friends, do so after the fact - next day/weekend/whenever. Or have a housewarming party and invite them to that. Don't invite them to 'have drinks' after the dinner is served at your reception.