Michigan-Detroit

7th sense: Knowing your role in a wedding before being asked

So I got a call yesterday from a future BM of mine, just making sure she was going to be in the WP. We haven't set a date for crying out loud! It's going to be about 2 years away!! I love her to death but sheeesh. Anyone else have a BM pre-empt you and it slightly annoyed you?

Re: 7th sense: Knowing your role in a wedding before being asked

  • edited December 2011
    Yea, if its two years away that's pretty strange for her to call you up just to ask. I mean what if you weren't going to have a wedding party at all? Its not like you HAVE to. Its just an awkward thing to ask someone especially if you don't have a date set.

    Personally, I would strongly advise you not to say yes, unless you already did, simply because strange things can happen in 2 years time.

    My one bridesmaid was similar but it wasn't until about 9 months out when she was like "I'm gonna be a bridesmaid, right?!" Um, I've been friends with you for 6 years so yea but sheesh way to put me on the spot!
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    When I called to tell my friend I was engaged, she asked, "can I be in the wedding?"  Honestly though, I didn't think anything of it.  We've been friends for 8 years and we lived together for 3 years so it was obvious she would be.  She had a destination wedding with only immediate family and a part of her misses the big wedding experience, so she was just very excited to be a part of it.  I thought it was funny.
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  • terbear_86terbear_86 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh I told her we hadn't decided anything and we might just decide to elope in that amount of time. Part of me was annoyed and part of me thinks maybe she was just kidding around, and some of it may be that she is trying to plan her life ( she has gone from a size 28 to 14 this year and plans on getting to an 8/10 and having an all over body tuck - she said " So I can look all hott and steal all the Groomsmen-- so MAKE sure you pick some cute single ones)  but holy cow. FI was super annoyed-- he's like dude can I just enjoy being engaged without someone asking me about the wedding every fifteen seconds??? With a slight look at me, haha. He thinks its funny that I am on here all the time, but I like it. I have been lurking way before he asked me----- as you can probably tell from my joined date, haha. But still.
  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_7th-sense-knowing-role-wedding-before-being-asked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:96af9eef-17d9-47b5-868e-23f2588ea6c4Post:fdabc1b0-25c8-4eb4-a7c7-95a77b3404bc">Re: 7th sense: Knowing your role in a wedding before being asked</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I told her we hadn't decided anything and we might just decide to elope in that amount of time. Part of me was annoyed and part of me thinks maybe she was just kidding around, and some of it may be that she is trying to plan her life ( she has gone from a size 28 to 14 this year and plans on getting to an 8/10 and having an all over body tuck - she said " So I can look all hott and steal all the Groomsmen-- so MAKE sure you pick some cute single ones)  but holy cow. FI was super annoyed-- he's like dude can I just enjoy being engaged without someone asking me about the wedding every fifteen seconds??? With a slight look at me, haha. He thinks its funny that I am on here all the time, but I like it. I have been lurking way before he asked me----- as you can probably tell from my joined date, haha. But still.
    Posted by terbear_86[/QUOTE]

    LOL.  That's funny, cause I <em>just </em>noticed your joined date this morning!!
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  • terbear_86terbear_86 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_7th-sense-knowing-role-wedding-before-being-asked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:96af9eef-17d9-47b5-868e-23f2588ea6c4Post:798795ca-077f-4a6c-b89e-fe0549826376">Re: 7th sense: Knowing your role in a wedding before being asked</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 7th sense: Knowing your role in a wedding before being asked : LOL.  That's funny, cause I just noticed your joined date this morning!!
    Posted by jholbel[/QUOTE]


    I FIRST got on to help out my cousin, she asked me to look for something and I couldn't access everything without becoming a member. Then I stopped until about hmmmmm - early this year? Feb ish? Just lurking around mostly, and then I couldn't take it and had to be a part of the convos.
  • edited December 2011
    I actually had an issue where I almost lost a friendship because one of my oldest friends was nearly obsessed with my FI and I getting engaged.  When I got my first grown up job and told her, she started talking about my wedding. . .then it was comments here and there about getting married and stuff.  The final straw was when she actually called my then boyfriend my "Pretend Husband."  Her reasoning, "well, he's not your real husband, so I have to call him your pretend husband."  I stop communicating with her from that day on.  She apologized a few months later after she realized how crazy and obsessed she was.  She just really wanted to be part of my wedding and she was afraid that since she was already married and with kids, that she wasn't going to be able to. 

    She's made a great turnaround though and is in the wedding party and so far, she's been great support.
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  • edited December 2011
    yeah, i pretty much knew who I wanted to be in my wedding. all the girls that are in my wedding have been my friends for 7 years to 15 years, so it was an easy decision. But one of my friends who I have known for about 15 years tried to call me out b/c she isn't in the wedding. The backstory about her is we met in HS, she has been in and out of my life (more out) since HS. So I felt that our relationship wasn't consistent enough for her to be part of our bridal party. But some people...geesh!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm pretty sure I was that girl. Well I didn't ask if I was in the wedding. I found out after she asked everyone and confronted her about it. I had a good friend that got married this past June. I found out from FI that she had asked most of her BM already and I thought for sure I would be in the wedding. Well I wasn't asked and was very hurt. We were very close friends and I didn't understand it. She ended up having 10 BM. Really? You couldn't fit me in out of those 10 girls?!? Most of her BM that she picked weren't very good either. One backed out the day before the wedding and couple other ones mysteriously got sick the day before the shower. She asked me to do a reading and I declined. We're not close anymore and I have been debating whether to ask her to the wedding at all.
  • sunkissed212sunkissed212 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had a similar thing happen, sort of.  I was engaged once before (back in 2002) and I had selected my wedding party for that wedding. Since then my then MOH and I have drifted apart significantly. We haven't talked actually in over 6 months. Well, we went out to dinner with a small group of friends a month or so ago and while we were out we were talking about my wedding and she said "I guess this means I'm not your MOH this time?"  Totally caught me off guard. It was pretty awkward.

    I think most of my girls knew they were going to be in the wedding and 1 of them brought it up several times before I asked her but never came right out and asked (she's good at beating around the bush...and I"m good at changing the subject lol). People are funny sometimes.
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