Invitation and RSVP Etiquette

Jashley05

So I just started designing all of my stationary and invitations. I am a bit stumped on the wording for the invitations and RSVP cards. For our guest list we have accounted for plus ones, however on my side of the family, I have several cousins that I am inviting, but but cannot accommodate (financially) for all of them to bring a plus one.... How should I go about their invitations and RSVP cards. Generally I could get away with adding a line on the RSVP card that says number of guests, but I sort of want to avoid giving the cousins an option, unless they are married. Do I order separate RSVP cards for those that I do not want to give an option of plus one? I hope that doesn't sound horribly of me! It's either this way, or not inviting them at all, which I would hate to do!

rcj2rcd

I've seen some RSVP cards that say "we have reserved _ seats in your honour" and you handwrite in the #. I'm in a similar situation. Most guests will be plus one but I have a few relatives that will be anywhere from 1 to 5 ppl on the RSVP (kids...) but I'm not sure how I feel about a handwritten item on my printed invitations.

kkbrown7023

We are doing exactly what PP said!!  Writing in the number of seat we have in their honour.

ksmith719

A friend of mine wrote in the number.  She had nice writing and it was just a number so it looked fine and people got the message!

tcage001

I agree with pp. A friend of mine did this as well and for the most part it worked out but some rude people had the nerve to cross out the number and write in another # smh st some people

Milsey32

@tcage001 - I'm soooo nervous for people to do stuff like that! (even though I wouldn't be surprised)

& yes, IMO "we have reserved __ seats in your honor" is totally acceptable as long as you use a nice pen & wait a moment before covering it (or putting it in the envelope) so it doesn't smear. It's just a number, so as long as it's legible, it's fine. :-)

Jashley05

But does it look awful to write in we have reserved 1 seats  in your honor for 12 cousins while we would be writing in 2 seats for most (since 'We have reserved __ seats in your honor' will have already be printed on the card)?

gailpete

A couple of things- any guest (cousin or not) needs to have a guest invited if they are married, engaged, living together or in a serious relationship (think how you would feel if your cousin invited you to a wedding and they didn't include your FI).

Hopefully your guests know common etiquette that says if the name is not on the envelope, they are not invitied.  So unless the envelope lists that they can bring a guest, they can't.  If they respond with a guest, you can call and say that due to budget constraints, room size, or whatever reason you have, you can't accomodate their guest.

if you do decide to include a number of guests on the RSVP card (which is fine) they should all be consistent.  If you are writing in numbers for some guests, you should do it for all guests.  What if one cousin sees one of your invites to another cousin that was allowed 2 seats and it's printed when theirs is handwritten, they will likely be hurt feelings.

Jashley05

Thank you everyone! I intended to do plus one's for the cousins that are married or engaged. I think my dad spoke to my aunt about it as a 'heads up', so that may diffuse the situation a bit. I think the "reserved ___ seats in your honor" may just do the trick, but I will have to figure out how to word it for single seats verses plus one seats.

zulamay

Here is another option from the Knot's advice gurus:

It's happened to the most organized of brides: The invite is made out to one person and one person only, but the RSVP comes back with two names crammed onto one line. Avoid the dreaded "and guest" quandary and annoyance (your ex-roommate's boyfriend of three weeks should not be at your wedding) and ask your calligrapher to write the full names of the invited guests on the RSVP card. After their names, have her include a blank line where they can indicate whether they are attending or sending regrets. That way, there's almost no way for guests to force an unwanted invite on you. Many couples complain that they can't read who has signed the RSVP or people forget to put their names. To avoid these snafus, number the backs of your reply cards in pencil and key them into your guest list.      << Prev Page Next Page >>  

Read more: Guest List: How to Make Your Wedding Guest List - Wedding Planning - Wedding Guests - TheKnot.com http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-guests/articles/how-to-make-your-wedding-guest-list.aspx#ixzz1E9HtlnuP

MMRoberts11

I've also seen:

Name:  ____ Accepts ____ Regretfully declines
Name: ____ Accepts ____ Regretfully declines