Rehearsal Dinner

mybestfriendsfuturemrs

What is the etiquette on inviting people to the Rehearsal Dinner?  Do we invite the Best Man's girlfriend even though she's not a part of the wedding party?

Does the bridal party need to RSVP to the rehearsal dinner or should they know that after the rehearsal, we will be gathering for dinner?

lisa89760

We are inviting everyone with a significant other.  I am always invited when my FI is in a wedding.  One time my friend traveled a couple hours with her boyfriend and she wasn't invited to the RD and just had to sit in the hotel the whole night.

As for RSVP, I'm just going to e-mail my bridal party and tell them that them and their dates are invited to the rehersal dinner and it will be after.  I think that should be enough.

abbeylynne06

We were tacky and did not invite dates to the RD.  Flame away... It was a financial decision more than anything.  FI's parents put on the dinner and adding dates would have taken the amount of people from 24 to 40.

I just sent out an e-mail reminding the wedding party that there would a dinner after the rehearsal and gave the time and place.

mybestfriendsfuturemrs

No flaming from here.  There is drama regarding where we are having our rehearsal dinner.  FI and I have ALWAYS said that we wanted to have it at our favorite restaurant. We literally eat there every occassion we can (birthdays, anniversaries, just in the area, etc) I am prepared to pay for the RD. Now FI's mom is saying that she will do exactly what she did for FI's 2 older brother's but at a different restaurant. I don't think that's very fair for her to decide where we will have our RD. I know it's a money issue, but I know that she has money in the bank. FI's family teases and says she's a human ATM, you can put money in but you can't take it back out.
Fi's grandma says that we should let FMIL pay for it and have it where she wants it since she's not helping us out in any other way. I just don't want to hear her B**ching about it costing more bc dates are invited.

Grrr.....drama, drama, drama!!

Melgor78

I think it depends on the relationship.  All our bp was married so we invited them and one was single so that wasn't an issue.  If you can it's nice too but if you can't afford it than don't.  But remember if one s/o gets invited they all have to or only have married couples can bring there s/o.  Remember this is a thank you to your bp for being in your wedding and not just a night out for dinner with your friends  We just told everyone through e-mail about when to be there and where dinner was after.  Most ppl know there is dinner after the rehearsal.    I'm sure they would tell you if they weren't going to be able to make it.

Melgor78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_rehearsal-dinner-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:dce2b51a-a166-4a2a-b279-9c11d2747216Post:daf7ba8d-a85a-4293-a51c-f801a15c5ec2">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]No flaming from here.  There is drama regarding where we are having our rehearsal dinner.  FI and I have ALWAYS said that we wanted to have it at our favorite restaurant. We literally eat there every occassion we can (birthdays, anniversaries, just in the area, etc) I am prepared to pay for the RD. Now FI's mom is saying that she will do exactly what she did for FI's 2 older brother's but at a different restaurant. I don't think that's very fair for her to decide where we will have our RD. I know it's a money issue, but I know that she has money in the bank. FI's family teases and says she's a human ATM, you can put money in but you can't take it back out. Fi's grandma says that we should let FMIL pay for it and have it where she wants it since she's not helping us out in any other way. I just don't want to hear her B**ching about it costing more bc dates are invited. Grrr.....drama, drama, drama!!
Posted by mybestfriendsfuturemrs[/QUOTE]

If you let her pay than she would get say in were it's at.  If you really want to go to your favorite restaurant than you should tell her you appreciate the offer but you guys really want to go to this restaurant and it means lot to you.  Maybe she will still offer to pay otherwise just pay yourself and go where you want.

aegrish

Diddo Autumn.  If you allow your FMIL to pay than she has say in where it is hosted.  If you must have it at your favorite restaurant, than you need to pay.  Sure your FMIL could ask you a preference or take your wishes into account, but since she's paying/hosting she is not obligated to your preferences in any way.  IMO, I'd let her host it and have it where she wants (if its somewhere decent/reasonable).  Go to your favorite restaurant another night and save yourself the $$.

As for the SO's, I would invite them.  I have always been invited to the RD's with my FI when he's been in weddings, and vice versa.  If they didn't invite him or me I'd be offended.  I would also send out at least an evite if not a real invitation so the wedding party knows the details.

mybestfriendsfuturemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_rehearsal-dinner-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:dce2b51a-a166-4a2a-b279-9c11d2747216Post:787d4213-57cf-4265-b050-13b5dc0c7b09">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Diddo Autumn.  If you allow your FMIL to pay than she has say in where it is hosted.  If you must have it at your favorite restaurant, than you need to pay.  Sure your FMIL could ask you a preference or take your wishes into account, but since she's paying/hosting she is not obligated to your preferences in any way.  IMO, I'd let her host it and have it where she wants (if its somewhere decent/reasonable).  Go to your favorite restaurant another night and save yourself the $$. As for the SO's, I would invite them.  I have always been invited to the RD's with my FI when he's been in weddings, and vice versa.  If they didn't invite him or me I'd be offended.  I would also send out at least an evite if not a real invitation so the wedding party knows the details.
Posted by aegrish[/QUOTE]

She had no interest in hosting it or helping with it until she started getting flack from her mom (FI's grandma) about her not helping or paying for anything.
At FI's older brother's RD, she didn't offer to pay until the end when she found out how much it was going to cost.

Meg1036

I really think you should invite the SOs of the bridal party.  I've been that person not invited, and to me, it just seemed like with the money and time my FI put into renting a tux, traveling, the bachelor party, etc., that allowing me to attend the rehearsal dinner instead of sitting by myself in a hotel room (or having to make other plans, if in town) was a small courtesy that is relatively inexpensive compared to the cost of the wedding.

Milsey32

Yes, some SO's may be annoyed if they're not invited to the RD ... BUT it really may be a financial issue or a place issue. For instance, my FFIL offered to pay for it (my FI's parents are divorced and this is the only thing he's willing to pitch in for) but with SO's it'd be 10 more people.. even someplace inexpensive that cost $10pp that's $100 extra... so we haven't decided if we're inviting them or not (the wedding isn't until November) because we're seeing how much he's willing to pay for dinner/where he was thinking about having it (if he even has ideas... he's from out of state) and also, we were just going to do an evite or word of mouth... MAYBE I'll end up making cute/simple invites if I have the time, but nothing over-the-top. 

Don't like your RD be your biggest problem.. you don't need the stress before your big day! best of luck honey xo