New York-Hudson Valley

Vent... Tired of the DRAMA... long sorry

Has anyone else noticed that some of your unhappily married friends and unmarried but in long term relationship friends have just gotten overly dramatic with you. Since early on in my engagement I keep having issues with 2 of my friends and I just don't get it. One of my friends has been in a relationship for over 10 years and they are not engaged. When my FI and I got engaged her attitude totally changed. She lives out in Long Island and we don't get to see each other very often but when she comes home from time to time we usually try to get together. So I called her and I was like.. Oh man I miss you I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. Well BIG mistake. She flipped out on me. She went on about how she was home and I didn't come see her. So I said when were you home (she didn't call me). She said she was home Christmas Eve and Christmas day then went back home. Since we just got engaged both of us had a ton of our family come in from Texas and California to see us and have an engagement party. So not for nothing I wasn't going to not see family that I haven't seen in 2 years but I apologized. A couple of other things happened and I decided not to invite her to the wedding. Partly because she said she didn't want to go and partly because I really didn't want to deal with the drama. (She doesn't think my FI and I should be getting married b/c we haven't been together long enough according to her) So when she didn't get her save the date and saw that our mutual friend got hers she flipped out. So our mutual friend talked to her about how she has been behaving and she was like OMG I didn't realize how I was acting. So to avoid anymore drama I sent her a save the date. So everything has been fine up until today. I sent her a stupid little app. request on facebook and she flipped out! She wrote a whole post about it and everything!!! I don't get it. It's insane. It was just an app request! Ignore it if you don't want it. LOL. My other friend is not happy in her marriage and ever since I got engaged it's been crazy. So as I was running some errands I called her to chit chat like we usually do. Well I arrived at our photographers after a 45 minute drive and I told her that I had to go but I would call her when I was done. Which I did. Everything was fine. At least that's what I thought. About 3 days later I got a HUGE e-mail complaining that I hung up on her and how dare I etc. It just went on and on. My FI has MS and she went on to say how I was dumb to marry someone who is sick b/c I will be taking care of him for the rest of my life. So needless to say I didn't take that very lightly. She eventually apologized but I haven't fully been able to get over it. Anyway... I was just wondering if anyone else is having some friends who have totally gone nuts. LOL.

Re: Vent... Tired of the DRAMA... long sorry

  • edited December 2011
    Sorry! No crazy friends here thank goodness...I don't think I would be able to put up with that at all. Good luck
  • edited December 2011
    Hi, I havent had anything like this happen... But i am also VERY good at cutting people off very quickly. Sounds like you need to cut some ties, but i dont how good friends you are with these ladies or what their stories are. Your wedding day is supposed to be a memorable day, in a good way... so you dont want to have to worry about the drama. Good Luck! I hope everything works out for you!
  • edited December 2011
    Yikes, sorry about your 'friends'. Seems like they don't have the ability to be happy for someone else right now. I haven't had anything like that with my friends go on - but slightly with a FSIL. She threw a fit (not to me) about my FI proposing bc she wasn't engaged yet (to Fi's brother) and she was with him longer and is older. She just takes dig's at me here and there but I don't let it get to me bc I'd like to be the bigger person. To act like that to a FB app is ridiculous and to say such hurtful things - I couldnt forgive her. Your FI has MS - if you love someone you don't run away from them bc of that. It doesnt make him any less human or deserving of somone great in his life, and it doesnt make him NOT the person right for you.
    336a Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • kittykat956kittykat956 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for listening to me ladies. I am glad that most of you haven't had to experience this behavior because it's just very hurtful. No matter how much I try to ignore it, it still gets to you. But I am trying to not let it bug me too much. Manda... I agree with you 100%. My FI is an wonderful person MS or no. Yes he has times when he is sick but that doesn't make him any different than anyone else. I really just don't get either of them. But oh well.
  • edited December 2011
    Well I haven't had anything that nuts happen, but yes my friends who I thought were friends and are in my BP have been acting like crap towards me lately, so I'm sure I will be cutting ties with a few people after the wedding.  One girl is such a B&^%H we actually considered tossing her from the BP (well FI wants too, I'm not the confrontaional type, so I'm like just leave it until after then we'll deal with it.)  But yeah some people get crazy when weddings happen.  But sounds like your 1st friend is just jealous of you!!  And the second one is prob just unhappy in her marriage and wants everyone around them to be the same, misery loves company.  Just ignore them things will work out, you don't need the extra drama!!
  • Jenniferk08Jenniferk08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    it happens. one of my BM's has been with her bf for about 5 years when i got engaged.  hubby and i had been together for a 1 1/2 yrs when we got engaged.  she accepted when i asked her to be a BM.  anytime i tried to get her to come out she was rarely around. even after the wedding now i rarely hear from her. actually i never do unless i contact her.  i'm not around as much as i use to be only because i moved 45 minutes away and last minute GTG is not something i can do anymore.. it's sad but friends get like that. try not to take it to heart and understand that jealousy is an ugly monster and not worth wasting thought on..
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