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What would you do?? Need help...again:~(

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo, had the big wedding planned for June 2011 and decided to go with a smaller gig of about 50 people for May 2011. We had everything arranged for the second venue until they got really flighty on me which occured after I let our original DJ go and after I switched our photographer to a second date. Now I have no venue scheduled and have considered a new 3rd venue. We would only be able to swing the new venue in their off season of March though. The good news is, I can probably use my DJ I let go of initially which would save our deposit and I think it would be easier to switch our photographer to a March date (for a third time...grr) than try to find something for May or June of 2011. My problem is that my best friend is having her first baby at the end of February and she is supposed to be my MOH. Although I did express that I could and would understand if it was too much and I could just have my brother stand up with me. My concern is that she wont be healed enough to be able to come to my wedding and I feel like a horrible person for scheduling my wedding 3 weeks after her due date. Im just so exhausted from doing this wedding planning and after 9 months of being engaged, my fiance and I are really ready to just do this. Part of me feels like we should just schedule it and take a chance and hope she can make it, the other part of me feels so selfish for doing so since I know she is preggo and due at that time :~( Im just so torn between doing whats right for us and trying to accomodate everyone else. Although I do feel like if Im going to accomodate everyone Im never going to be able to get married :~( We would do it in January or February but I have yet another friend due then as well so thats out :~( I have people telling me to wait and keep looking for a new venue (which I dread after recent experiences) and others saying I need to do whats best for my fiance and I....what would you do???????????????????????

Thanks for the long vent  :~(

Re: What would you do?? Need help...again:~(

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    Melgor78Melgor78 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you need to do what is best for you.  You can spend forever trying to pick a day that works for everyone.  I know you feel bad about picking a day so close to her due date but I'm sure she will understand and I'm sure she know all the problems you've been having with getting the dates finalized.  I doubt she will hold it against you or make you feel bad about it.   I ended up picking a date that wasn't my first chose to accommodate others and not pick a date that would interferer with other things going on but I still get crap about it from ppl but what are you going to do.  You can't pleased everyone.  Just remember that this day is about you and your fi.  Planning should be a fun experience so try to relax and not worry about everyone else.
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you have a lot of friends having babies, LOL.

    Do what you have to do for YOUR wedding. No, it's not fair that you have had to go through what you have, so just decide and be done with it. If they are really and truly friends, they will understand.

    Good luck.
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    edited December 2011
    Do whatever is best for you and your vendors. My sister surely didn't think about my wedding when she had sex and got knocked up 9 months before!

    But seriously, it sounds like you've been through enough and I'm sure your MOH will understand.
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    larzhopelarzhope member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    agree with other posters.  I planned my wedding knowing full well my MOH is desperately trying to get pregnant and if she gets pregnant she may even be due the day of our wedding.  I can't put it off just because she may or may not be able to be there.  Your MOH will understand
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    weddingcourtweddingcourt member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Every pregnancy is different you can't plan based on what you think will happen, because usually it's the opposite :)

    I knew my MOH was going TTC right after she got married in June, but instead she started in May and got a BFP right away, she was very lucky and will be 6 months along at my wedding. Luckily we planned and her dress will work! My other BM that got married the day after MOH wasn't planning on getting KU, but did. She will be 4 months at the wedding and it just so happened a different BM and her can switch dresses because my BM ordered it too big and the preggo BM's dress will be too small now...so once again it all worked out :) These are the people that are closest to you, they will do what they can to make sure you aren't stressed and that everything is wonderful for you :)

    Lastly, a good friend of mine had a baby on September 13th and 3 weeks later she was at my shower and out all night for my b-party. She had a C-Section but bounced right back and was good to go, so you never know how a person's body will react.

    Cliff notes: Do what works for you, everyone else is unpredictable.
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    edited December 2011
    No one planned their pregnancy around my wedding! I have two bridesmaids who are pregnant, one who is my FSIL (constant attention seeker) You can't please everyone! She will be fine 3 weeks later!
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    edited December 2011
    I can't thank you enough for the advice. It makes me feel a lot better about picking a date that works for us and hoping for the best that she will be able to at the very least, attend. It was breaking my heart to think that someone Ive been so close to for 15 years wouldnt be able to be a part of this special life event because of a date I chose. I know she will do everything she can to be there and will just hope for the best! Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    edited December 2011

    Like everyone else said, Do what works for you and FI. Realistically, 3 weeks should be enoug time to heal up a little bit and come to at least part of the event.  And if she is a good friend, knowing what you have gone through so far she should understand.

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