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RSVP - vent and advice

C23ChrisC23Chris member
First Comment
in New York-Hudson Valley
my RSVP date is tomorrow, october 1 for our november 1 wedding.  we are still missing like 50 responses!  i am going to wait to see what comes in until Monday, then i need to start calling.  this is my fiance's 2nd marriage, the wedding is in westchester, his family is in NJ.  i know that anyone who is genuinely happy for us and want to be there will.  it's just annoying and a little depressing.  we have not had any blow-up arguements through the planning process, but now this is making us both really aggravated and sad.  When i start calling people monday and they tell me the distance is too far, what would be the most polite thing to respond to them with?? PS we go to EVERY family function drive up and down the NJ turnpike all the time, to not get respones or declines is really hurting our feelings.
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Re: RSVP - vent and advice

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    chrisnjay2010chrisnjay2010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    jeez why are people so rude!! If you get that response, i would just say, we are so sorry you cant join us on our special day.  I wouldn't make a big deal of it now because its only going to make you feel worse.  The next time a family function comes up though and its a distance for you, i may think twice before going this time.
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    kristinanddankristinanddan member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. If they decline due to distance (or for whatever reason they decline), just say that you are sorry they can't make it.
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    ssagessage member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp.  My rsvp date is friday and we have like 20 envelopes to go (about 40 people).  Honestly, if they say that, I would just say that you are sorry that won't be able to make it.  Leave it alone.  Take the high road.  This is a blip on the radar...and I totally get going to all family functions, etc.  In the end, if they don't come, remember that your wedding will be filled with those who you WANT there!!!!
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    manda26manda26
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    edited December 2011
    I think most ppl really just dont get around to RSVPing on time. I don't know many ppl who didnt have this issue for their wedding. If they decline it is THEIR LOSS!! NJ to Westchester is not that big a deal what so ever. There are tons of reasons ppl would decline (and if that is the case they should still send the response card back!), many reasons may be trivial but try to brush it off. You're going to have a great wedding no matter what!
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    Bat937Bat937
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    edited December 2011
    We had over 27 response cards not returned - over 50 people.  We had to call all of them.  If they say they can't come just say "You'll be missed".  That's it.  Don't get into any kind of discussion with them.
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    Jenniferk08Jenniferk08 member
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    edited December 2011
    keep in mind that some people did send them back but they get lost. my mom almost threw out a tax return because it had been stuck in a magazine. have you made sure to shake every sales flyer and magazine that was in your mailbox? i had a friend who i knew would be the first to send it back and i never returned it, and she is very careful about those things. so try not to assume they didn't respond because i'm sure not all of them forgot. double check your magazines recently and you may find one or two.. or those responses ended up in someone else's magazine's.. not everyone is nice enough to stick them back in the mail.
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    PrincessJessicaPrincessJessica
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    edited December 2011
    This is an issue with almost every wedding.  People lose the response card, or don't send it back for some other reason.  My mom made like 20 phone calls for mine, and one was to her cousin in Texas who never called back.  Luckily she didn't come but still it's frustrating.  Some people are silly and think RSVP date means the date you have to have it in the mail so waiting til Monday to make calls is definately a good idea.  I just get so angry whenever I read about this.  I mean how hard is it to check yes or no and send the darn thing back???
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    AmyRaposeiroAmyRaposeiro
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's. We had a ton that we didn't hear back from too. I wouldn't get worked up thinking people aren't coming because of the distance. We had people come from all over, and the ones that couldn't make it didn't come due to legit reasons. When it comes to family, they will do everything they can to make it because they love you! Some people are just lazy and don't send the response cards out right away or are waiting to see that they will be able to make it before they send them out.
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