New York-Hudson Valley

Newbie already married- but wanted to stop in to say hi!


I'm already married, but since I've started posting on the The Nest I figured I'd stop by here to see if I could offer advice or my opinion about any of the vendors you ladies were looking into.

Some info about me? My name is Lila, and I might already know some of you because I know some of my friends were on here! My DH's name is Nick and we were married in January 09 at Tappan Hill. We no longer live in the area, though, because we moved to California this summer so I could go back to grad school.

Look forward to chatting with you ladies!

Re: Newbie already married- but wanted to stop in to say hi!

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    edited December 2011
    PS. I'm still putting together my info on this board, but my Nestie bio is already up if you're interested:
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    MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hi there lila ...welcome to the just read your bio -- a lot has happend to you...but you put it so eloquently. what a positive spin you put through all your turmoil/triumphants. hope all is well for you and your new hubby now?

    so tell me or tell us....what did you learn from planning your wedding to your actual wedding day? ... is there anything you would do differently. did it all go as planned? inquiring minds would like to know :-)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks Lee! The last couple of years have been pretty crazy for us, things have calmed down relatively speaking. We're doing pretty well but we just found out this week DH's mom has breast cancer so you know how it goes, there's always something.

    My actual day was amazing. It was the best day of my life and we have the most amazing wedding photos to remember it by. I had such a good time with my family and friends, and I was so overwhelmed with love for DH I thought I was going to burst. I wish we could do it every year to celebrate, but DH would kill me. Haha.

    As for the advice...hmm....

    1. You will change your mind, and that’s ok! – I changed my mind about A LOT of stuff from the beginning of planning to the end. So it’s ok to be on top of things and book stuff early, but wait to buy the smaller details and don’t be afraid to tell vendors you want to update your needs because as you get exposed to more things and ideas you will change your mind about what you want.

    2. Don’t buy the first dress you try on. Don’t buy a dress at the first store you go to. – This sort of goes along with #1. Make sure you look around before you make a decision. Look online first to help you narrow down ideas and then try on different fits etc. You may not end up with the dress you always thought you would want (a dress you picked out when you were 5, 15, 25, etc. may not be the same style you like now).

    3. Don’t let anyone bully you around. – It’s your day and you should get what you want, not what your Grandma wants. Bottom line. You aren’t being selfish or spoiled. It’s not your guests' day, it's yours and FH's.

    4. Be VERY explicit with what you want. I can’t stress that enough. Even if you think you’ve generally explained things, other people are not mind readers. Make sure if you have told a vendor you want to change things around or do something special you explain things and have them go over it with you in detail. The two things the entire day that annoyed me was the transition between our two first dances and the way our cake turned out. Both times I said to the vendor, “we’re just gonna do this” as opposed to “let me specifically explain to you my vision.” In the end it didn’t matter too much, but for super OCD people it could have.

    5. Pee a lot before your ceremony.

    6. Have a formal receiving line. We did that between cocktail hour and the reception to make sure we got to talk to every single person we invited. When the reception came around we could socialize if we wanted to, but because we didn’t find it necessary to go around to each table we were able to eat, dance, and actually have fun.

    7. If you’re an anxious person, or get nervous being in front of a crowd make sure you have someone with you in the limo who can calm you down. Our priest was really strict about not drinking before hand so I was so incredibly nervous I almost had a panic attack. Thank God my cousin was there, she knows me the best and could give it to me strait to help me calm down. I don’t know if anyone else could see how truly nervous I was besides just the regular pre-wedding jitters.

    8. Make sure YOU have all of the wedding extras you want photographed before the ceremony. My parents had my rings and my RH had an invitation (that I wanted to use and also set out for decoration that they lost) I was really afraid we wouldn't get detail shots of those and had to spend so much time tracking them down the morning of.

    9. Have a point person at the church who is not in your FH’s BP. Chances are they won’t have their phone on when they get to the church and you never know if you’ll need to get in contact with someone. Before that have a point person within each side of the BP in case you need it. The phone was ringing off the hook all morning and I didn’t want to get on the phone because of being in the chair to get my hair and make up done (for 2+ hours) plus getting dressed, etc. I just wanted to be left alone, it made things so much easier to have a BM be in charge of that.

    10. If you are taking pictures at your RH while the cocktail hour is going on don’t have them just put a few things in the bridal suite. You will run out of food REAL fast and won’t get to eat too much. Request to have your own personal butler on hand to bring food to wherever you’re taking pictures. We were at our cocktail hour for about 10 minutes and people of course wanted to talk so I missed some stuff I wanted to try, but between that and having people come by I still got to eat way more than most brides do.

    11. Have someone keep track of time, and don’t be afraid to be a nazi about keeping others on time for things too. And don’t be afraid to tell people what to do while you’re getting ready. With so many people getting ready at the same time and you being the one who has to do the most stuff, you won’t be able to keep track of every little detail. My BMs thought nothing of me randomly yelling out at times “what time is it?” and “where’s my veil?” etc. They are there to help you, make them do their job!

    12. This one may be a little controversial, but I wouldn't change out of your main wedding dress. I brought with me a second one (that was my bachelorette party dress) just incase I got hot or wanted to be more comfortable. I ended up changing halfway through the reception and while at the time I was more comfortable I loved my dress so much and now I'll never wear it again. I really should have just put up with it.

    13. Make sure you take some time to talk to some people before the wedding to kind of have a pow-wow. Certain friends, your dad, your brother, your FH. People you need to tell that you love them no matter what. Especially if you are close with your dad, it's a hard thing to go through emotionally that you don't always think about, and it's good to have a conversation ahead of time letting him know that you still love him. And I had a single friend start sobbing during my bach party because she was afraid I was going to forsake them all and only want to hang out with couples. It's not damage control, it's just letting them know that even if this one thing changes you still love them.

    14. Let go and have fun! The day goes by so fast, let other people worry about things and have a good time with your new DH. Chances are you really won't notice those things that aren't perfect, so don't watch out for them and just have fun. Your day will be perfect no matter what
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    edited December 2011
    I was wondering, do you guys do wedding reviews? On my other forum we all posted reviews our wedding vendors so I can always post that here, there's tons of pictures.
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    edited December 2011
    hey there girlie :) 
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Hello. I've waited here for you. Everlong<3<br>
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Newbie already married- but wanted to stop in to say hi!</a>:
    [QUOTE]hey there girlie :) 
    Posted by nybride10[/QUOTE]

    Hey!! <img src="" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /> I had a feeling you'd be on here.

    Question for you, who was your photographer?
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    edited December 2011
    awww welcome to the board and Congrats :)
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