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Rehearsal Dinner - Conservative In-laws...

Woodsy62Woodsy62 member
10 Comments
in New York-Hudson Valley
My future in-laws have offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, which is wonderful and was unexpected. (My FI and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves).

However, there is one issue.  My future in-laws are completely against drinking (religious reasons I guess) and we are almost positive they will not pay for any alcohol at the rehearsal dinner.  My family enjoys drinking as do my FI and I so we would like to have drinks available for those who wish to have them.  We are willing to pay for the bar ourselves but we arent sure how to bring up the subject to his parents. 

How can we bring this up to them or offer to pay for the alcohol ourselves without offending them or causing drama?
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Conservative In-laws...

  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would just come out and say "In-laws, we are so grateful and appreciative of your offer to cover the costs of the rehearsal dinner. We know it will be wonderful and will help us tremendously budget-wise. We want you to know that we completely understand and respect your stance on alcohol and would never ask for you to cover those costs at the rehearsal dinner. We wanted to cover that cost ourselves."

    Let them respond - if they seem uneasy - you can also let them know that you'd be willing to "limit" the consumption in some way if that made them more comfortable. You could have the venue only make wine and beer available and tell them to cut it off after X amount of bottles. That's what we did and it wasn't a problem at all.

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  • chrisnjay2010chrisnjay2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    totally agree with Riss!
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  • TerriandJoeTerriandJoe
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree here too!
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  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Completely agree too !!
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  • probablykateprobablykate member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree - ask them when a good time to talk would be and then sit down and have a good conversation.  Let them know that you respect their religious beliefs but that it is important to you that everyone at the rehearsal dinner have a good time.  Then, yes, LISTEN and see if you can come to an agreement. 

    You never know.  My father is very religious but I don't want a religous ceremony, and I was worrying over how to talk to him about it.  Turned out that he had already figured that I might not want a religious ceremony, and was OK with it.  You could be worrying over nothing!

    And let us know how it goes!
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