Massachusetts-Boston
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Save the Dates before asking the wedding party?

Is it okay to send out save the dates before asking people to be in the wedding party? Here is my dilemma: my best friend is getting married in October, so I didn't really want to ask her to be my maid of honor before then because she has a lot on her plate right now.  But I want to send my save the dates out around that time but am not sure as to whether other people have sent them to bridal party members who hadn't been asked yet? I feel as though if she receives a save the date she will assume she isn't in the wedding party. 

Re: Save the Dates before asking the wedding party?

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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it really matters if you send Save the Dates before asking the wedding party. However, I also think you can ask her to be your MOH now, and just say I don't expect you to do anything at all right now- I know you are busy with your wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with pp, on both things. I don't think she'll necessarily assume that she won't be in the wedding if she receives a STD but even if she does, then you can always explain it all to her then. But, in the beginning months, there's not that much for the MOH to assist with anyway, except for maybe being there to pick out wedding dress, so I don't think it would be problem to ask her before her wedding to be the MOH as long as you reassure her that you know that she's busy right now and are not expecting much. Can I just give you some advice, though...totally unsolicited though, I realize. My wedding is in one month and my BF set her wedding date, right after I set mine for May of 2011 and is now totally overshadowing my wedding with her plans. Makes for an angry bride, lol. So, just try to hold off on the massively 'look at me, I'm a bride' stuff until after her wedding. Makes for a happy best friend/bride. Good luck!
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