Massachusetts-Boston

Open bar poll. What are you doing?

Im trying to get some insight on this long debated issue.  What did you do or are you doing for your bar?

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BabyFruit Ticker
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
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Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?

  • edited December 2011
    Just curious, how will the answers effect your decision?
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    They wont.  Not really, but It seems to be a big debate on other boards.  I'm just curious to see if my thought is in line with others from my area.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    Oh yeah, this is pretty much the biggest debate out there.

    I don't really know why, it seems like such a no-brainer as a hostess.
  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our package includes open bar for 1 hr (cocktail hour), wine with dinner and a champagne toast.  We'll then do a consumption bar (beer, wine, soda only) up to a limit, which I hope will last the whole night.  Seriously, how much alcohol can they drink?  Hahahaa!  I hope they drink a LOT early while it is paid for by the hotel! 
  • edited December 2011
    Our venue offers cash bar, consumption bar, and open bar. If you want a champagne toast, wine service, specialty drink, etc... you pay for that in addition. We're planning on doing open bar with champagne toast and wine service at dinner. To us it was important that if your a guest you be treated like a guest and have that stuff taken care of. Our crowd is also known to drink so a consumption bar wouldn't work. We will end up probably saving money with the open bar vs the consumption bar!
  • edited December 2011
    Blueeyed- I just read the entire post you were involved in on SnarkyBrides. I am appalled at the bad name you give Boston brides and the reasoning people may have for not having cash bars. Are cash bars proper etiquette? no. Am I personally 'against' them? Yes. But over the years I have spent on here, the etiquette board, and going to weddings, I realize there are very legitimate concerns people have over not having open bars and I can sympathize with them. There are plenty of very fine unselfish ladies on here, who for a number of reasons have chosen not to do an open bar. There are also a number who made real sacrifices to have them, something you are clearly unwilling to yield on.

    All your posts in the other thread come across as completely self entitled, bratty, and the way you speak for Boston brides is insulting. You should know better than to assume that just because you have a vision for your day that includes a huge number of guests, a yacht club, and any other number of over the top ideas, it does NOT allow you to assume you are entitled to these embellishments over your guests own comfort.

    You should know better than to demand that you have the high budget day you described over there, while claiming it is just how Boston is. Do not hide behind the concept of 'Boston' as an excuse for your own brattiness.  For your information, a huge number of ladies on here have scaled back their weddings/guest list/venues to accommodate their guests and be good hostesses. There are also a number of ladies who agonized over the open bar choice and for a variety of reasons decided against having an open bar. Many have real financial concerns, issues with alcoholic relatives, or something equally as moving. Rarely any of them included spending 50k on a wedding wihtout the slightest inclination towards perhaps making a chunk of that work for their guests comfort. I am very sorry to see the bad name you are giving Boston on an international board and I do not appreciate being used in part of your excuse.
  • edited December 2011
    and if anyone wants to check out the original gem that set this off: look on snarky brides under the thread "vent about open bars"

    some of my favorite quotes include:
    "Or maybe put my wedding on hold till 2013?  GIve me a break.  I am spending FIFTY GRAND entertaining my guests.  That should be sufficient. " "Its not flaunting.  Its how much it costs to get married here.  Plain and simple.  I dont know of any bride where I live who got married for less than 35K.  We live in Taxachusetts.  Its how much stuff costs here."
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Well Megan, if you had read the entire post, it was another Boston Knottie who was the original poster.  She was not able to afford an open bar and they tore into her with name calling and belittlement.  I offered a defense for her that having open bars here (in Boston) can get quite expensive since liquor is highly taxed and most places do not allow you to bring alcohol in.

    I also never said I was not having an open bar.  I dont have to make that decision for quite some time.  And if I choose not to, it will not be because of budget concerns. It would be because of the reasons you posted above with the drinking problems and alcohol related deaths.  Im sorry if you feel like that makes me a bad hostess and not others because "my budget allowes room for it"

    As for your claim that:  Rarely any of them included spending 50k on a wedding wihtout the slightest inclination towards perhaps making a chunk of that work for their guests comfort.  Your assumption on what I will or will not have is incorrect.  My whole wedding is based off of my guests comfort.  My budget should have NOTHING to do with it. 

    For you to call me bratty or selfish or entitled is a bit harsh considering you do not know me.  I was not trying to give "a name" to boston brides.  I was coming to the defense of a fellow boston knottie ( as did a few other boston girls).  And in that defense, I did not name call once.  

    I never claimed to "represent" boston.  And just as I dont like them calling me names.  I certainly dont appreciate you calling me them either. 

    If you think what they did to the original poster for boston was ok, then I guess we do in fact have nothing in common, and nothing else left to discuss.
     


    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    Well, we let others read the posts and detemine your behavior for themselves.

    Nothing will sway my opinion of you that you are a brat who is spending a LOT of money without considering her guests wholey. If you bothered to read my post (and getting the spelling of my name correct) you would see I have total sympathy for people who truly can not host an open bar for a variety of reasons. You, my sweetness, do not fit that bill and it is embarassing to the struggle many people have with this issue, including the OP of the snarky brides thread.

    I call absolute bullshit that you are now pulling the card that you have alcohol issues in your family as you never mentioned it in the 10 or so rather heated posts you posted in the other thread. Nice try.

    And yes, you spoke for Boston numerous times with telling people what you felt the realities of having a Boston based wedding were. Almond even tried to negate those realities and you belittled her stunning wedding by calling it an "exception and not the rule." 

    I don't care if you have an open bar or not. Just stfu about pretending to speak for all of Boston.
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_open-bar-poll-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:49c283ac-426f-4704-b9e2-046a5256dedaPost:f2903245-de91-424d-8866-fb8afd35b81c">Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I call absolute bullshit that you are now pulling the card that you have alcohol issues in your family as you never mentioned it in the 10 or so rather heated posts you posted in the other thread. Nice try. Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    Then clearly you didnt real the posts where I said "some people dont feel comfortable providing alcohol for 6 hours for free without feeling responsible for them driving home." 

    Dont pretend to know me. 
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And this is what I was defending:

    sorry, two bottles of wine are included per table and champagne  and I said open wine and beer all night. Just not top shelf liquor paid for. maybe if those cancer treatments I had hadn't cost so much I would do top shelf liquor but we'd like to get married just the same and I think it will be a nice wedding! sorry to offend you, but I guess Boston is different. I'm not being mean and I wish you'd be alittle nicer with your comment towards me!
    Posted by snoangel79


    The tragedy card.  It has been thrown


    Snoangel79 is a boston bride.  And this is the way they were talking to her.  Making fun of her having cancer.  Thats nice. 
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    I tried to make it through the whole snarky brides thread, but I've seen enough. Holy grasping at straws, OP. Congratulations on spending two years of college tuition on your party and still not be able to ensure that your guests are taken care of. That sounds more like poor planning than Boston's fault. And I have to ditto those who said there is absolutely a way to have a wedding in the Boston area for under 35K. I did, with open bar the whole night, plus champagne toast and wine at the tables. Of course, I didn't invite 250 of my closest family and friends, so that may be part of your problem. I could have, but then I also wouldn't whine about how I don't have enough money to cover people appropriately. It sounds like you're trying to use any and all reasons to justify your poor decisions. FYI, Boston is a pricey place, but there are others in the U.S. Get over yourself.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • edited December 2011
    I know enough. I don't have to pretend at that part.

    And I absolutely do not condone them making fun of some one who has cancer.

    Now be gone before some one drops a house on you too.
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Clearly you DIDNT read the posts then.  Like I said.

    This was in my first post:

    I dont think calling her a moron helps.  Some people dont feel comfortable being responsible for everyone drinking unlimited amounts of alcohol all night.  Unless she is going to provide transportation or cabs home, i think her concern is fine.

    And this was in another.

    I also didnt say I wont have a full open bar.  I have not made that decision yet.  I said i was thinking of doing 3 hours (and only because i dont feel right about having people drive home after 6 hours of drinking for free). 

    So please you get your facts straight before you judge me.  Im not "trying" anything.  Why would I make something like that up.  Thats obnoxious to assume.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_open-bar-poll-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:49c283ac-426f-4704-b9e2-046a5256dedaPost:98461644-5348-4267-b9a7-d46a1fbe536b">Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Clearly you DIDNT read the posts then.  Like I said. This was in my first post: I dont think calling her a moron helps.  Some people dont feel comfortable being responsible for everyone drinking unlimited amounts of alcohol all night.  Unless she is going to provide transportation or cabs home, i think her concern is fine. And this was in another. I also didnt say I wont have a full open bar.  I have not made that decision yet.  <strong>I said i was thinking of doing 3 hours (and only because i dont feel right about having people drive home after 6 hours of drinking for free).</strong>   So please you get your facts straight before you judge me.  Im not "trying" anything.  Why would I make something like that up.  Thats obnoxious to assume.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    And 3 hours is cheaper. I mean, <em>safer for your guests</em>. It's starting to stink in here with all these red herrings everywhere.

    Plus, are they any more or less drunk because it was free? What does that have to do with the point you're trying to make if it's not about money?



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Think what you want.  If defending people when other girls are calling them stupid, idiot, loser, moron, dumbc^nts, and making fun of them having cancer and their budgets is wrong, then I dont really care what you have to say about my responses in defense of them.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_open-bar-poll-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:49c283ac-426f-4704-b9e2-046a5256dedaPost:e3400ff6-9c4a-4cdd-a288-bfdd2e9dca5e">Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Think what you want.  If defending people when other girls are calling them stupid, idiot, loser, moron, dumbc^nts, and making fun of them having cancer and their budgets is wrong, then I dont really care what you have to say about my responses in defense of them.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    We are having two different conversations here. I am not criticizing your defending other people. I am, however, criticizing your statements and poor rationalization re: the open bar issue and how it's supposedly excused as a regional thing. Therefore, you placing your misguided notions about guest accommodation within your defenses for other posters does not change the fact that the notions are full of crap, as well as poor etiquette. 



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • edited December 2011
    To be honest, I could care less what people think of Boston on an international board, esp based on one poster.  That said, I think if you post on a board called Snarky Brides, esp about such a controversial topic, you know what you have coming. 

    i think we all can agree that it is good etiquette not to have your guests pay for anything at the party you're hosting.  I just don't get why people get so upset over what other people are doing.  I totally understand explaining the reasoning behind not doing a cash bar, etc., but I just don't get that upset when I hear of someone else doing cash bar because I dont know them and I dont have to go to the wedding.  I understand we are here to discuss and help other brides, but I feel like calling someone else out on their breach of etiquette is also not graceful.  Although again, it is the Snarky Brides board. 

    I do think just doing the cocktail hour is common in lower to middle class circles in the area, but they certainly aren't $50K weddings. Also, just bc a lot of people do it doesn't make it right.   I haven't ever been to a wedding that didn't at least have a cocktail hour.  I find it really hard to believe that every venue you looked at wanted $14K for a 250 person open bar, esp outside of Boston.  There are venues in MA (2 in Topsfield that i know of) where you can bring your own alcohol, so that is an option. 

    One question I would like to hear feedback on:  We are doing a full cocktail hour and open beer and wine after that.  I assumed liquor would be available for cash after the cocktail hour.  However, I was talking to someone the other day that said that they did open beer and wine and did not serve liquor at all since they didnt want anyone taking out cash.  The way I see it, as a hostess you should make guests comfortable, so if someone want liquor that badly, it's at least available.  What do you all think? I kind of want to see the reasoning behind people's opinion. 
  • megandjaymegandjay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1. We are doing open bar, but it was a serious debate with my parents for a while. They were worried about drinking and driving too.

    2. I have been to weddings with all manner of cash/open bars, and I never JUDGED the couple, although I was a little annoyed not knowing in advance and having to leave the reception to find an ATM. I mean, people find this the most heated topic on the boards, but I think it is just a tiny blip on the radar in the big picture.

    3. Yes, there are more affordable wedding venues in MA, but IN Boston 35K is fairly standard for what it would cost for 200 people. Topsfield is not Boston. (In fact there are a bunch of hotels that are closer to $300-400. That is a choice that the B&G need to make with their families, but that is not an outrageous number for Boston.

    4. I agree with Blueyed's defense of brides who get attacked by a group and called names. I cannot believe that in the same sentence someone would cite 'etiquette' and use 'c*nt'. (That word really sickens me). And THAT is totally uncalled for, even by a 'snarky' bride, and it also happens on other boards.

    5. Meaghann- I feel you with the name spelling, like when it is right in front of them, and people still spell it wrong, so frustrating! (my is spelled 'Meaghann' and everyone always forgets the 'a' or the 'h' or the 2nd 'n', even when it is on the top or bottom of my email!).
  • edited December 2011
    Ok wow.  Interesting.
    I am having a nice wedding in Ma for 10K.  I picked a Friday night instead of Sat.  I am doing passed cider during coctail hour and wine with dinner.  There is also a champagne toast.  But if the guests want something else they are able to buy it.  It is very common in my friends and family circle to have a cash bar of some sorts.
    Oh and  I am having the wedding at the Hawthorne is Salem, so it is a nice place
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_open-bar-poll-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:49c283ac-426f-4704-b9e2-046a5256dedaPost:71ae4a42-16a2-4525-9095-d39ea7db5254">Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?</a>:
    [QUOTE] 3. Yes, there are more affordable wedding venues in MA, but IN Boston 35K is fairly standard for what it would cost for 200 people. Topsfield is not Boston. (In fact there are a bunch of hotels that are closer to $300-400. That is a choice that the B&G need to make with their families, but that is not an outrageous number for Boston. 4. I agree with Blueyed's defense of brides who get attacked by a group and called names. I cannot believe that in the same sentence someone would cite 'etiquette' and use 'c*nt'. (That word really sickens me). And THAT is totally uncalled for, even by a 'snarky' bride, and it also happens on other boards.
    Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

    The point is, you don't NEED to have your wedding in Boston.  For a Boston hotel $14K is probably reasonable for open bar.  But OP is having her wedding at Danversport Yacht Club, which is not too far from Topsfield, which is why I mentioned that. I've been to weddings there, and it's very nice, but it's not extravagant.  I would have laughed in their face if they gave me that number and found another venue. 

    I'm not judging her either and as a guest I would be perfectly happy with what she's choosing to do, but I think it's a much stronger argument to just say that this is my choice and I want to do X kind of bar, rather than come up with excuses that don't hold water. 

    I totally agree about what the posters said being sickening, but I think it's a little lame to go post there and then act shocked when you get flamed.  I also agree about the bar issue being a blip on the radar.
  • edited December 2011
    I am having a cash bar and I am not ashamed. I also don't see the point in getting upset over what other people are doing at their wedding. We have our reasons for it and they are very valid to us. The least of all is money but our budget is around $16,000 for 250 people. For me and FI it was more important to have our large family and our friends there then to have a cash bar and most of our guests feel the same way. It was a tough decision for us but we did what we had to do and I agree with megandjay, I have NEVER judged anybody about their wedding situations. I understand etiquette but I will say that I don't really follow it all the time and quite honestly, none of my family or friends really care. I truly believe that everyone will have a great time and in the long run there won't be many people who remember my wedding rfor how tacky my bar choice was. That being said, I do understand though that different social circles look at things differently and that it some people will really look down on you for you poor "etiquette" decisions.
  • edited December 2011
    I erased my posts because frankly I have better things to do then have someone compare cancer to aids and make me feel bad for having and open bar of beer and wine only. I was defending the first poster because frankly I've only been to one wedding where I didn't need to open my wallet for booze.  I am 31 years old and for someone to make fun of me because I had cancer well basically that sucks and yes when you are 23 and your insurance is not as good some of the things not paid for insurance are very costly (this did cripple me financially for about 3 years of my life)  My guests will be taken very well care of with a shuttle to the hotel after. Most of my guests are wine and beer drinkers also. I was just stating having top shelf liquor can get expensive (maybe I am remembering my old crowd that I hung out with that took full advantage of a bride's family footing the crazy 18k liquor bill and yes that freaked me out).
    I have felt so bad about not being able to provide full top shelf liquor that I may look back into it and see if I can swing it. We were going to do a photo booth also but I can remove that to make my guests have a better time; I'm just seriously scared of having a crazy bar bill at the end of the night. I am not asking my parents for anything as they do not have alot of money to spare (they are covering 1/2 the flowers that's it, they wanted to help and for that I am thrilled). I am also giving each of my bridesmaids and flower girls $100 towards their dresses to help costs.
    I am having 130 people at my wedding, it is at a fairly nice place 40 miles out of Boston, it is costing 77 per person without liquor and about 3k more with the open beer/ wine, champagne plus two bottles of wine at dinner per table. I may do the higher end stuff but I just need to figure that out. Everyone I have spoken to says I am crazy to provide top shelf all night (all recent brides, some who only had a cocktail hour.) But the guilt has set in and I want to do everything I can but again I don't appreciate being laughed at. Maybe I shouldn't have defended her but again I felt bad because people where ripping her to shreds and I hate to see that and she was from here. As a bride I don't know all the ins and outs yet, but it's sad when you say something and someone makes fun of you (the name calling is really not even worth it), I will never post on that board again.
    Oct1201212 Twins born at 34w2d, Allison, 3lb,4oz-Ethan, 4lb7oz, both 16 1/2 inches. Out of Difficulties Grow Miracles BestBuddiesBoy AprilPosseMultiLilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • edited December 2011

    Well, I personally see nothing wrong with doing beer and wine only.  That's what I'm doing for all except one hour.  You're being more than gracious, so stop worrying :)  If anyone complains about not being able to have the specific drink they want, I will personally come punch them.  And I'm sure a few other brides will jump on the bandwagon with me :)

  • edited December 2011
    Blueyed - you are such a peach. Your fiance is such a lucky guy. ZOMGBBQ!! You are the best bride evaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

    Meaghan: I would slow your roll. It is not like you to get so riled about such trash. She's not worth it.

    My first wedding was open bar and I expect my second one to be. Getting married again. Do you know how to change your wedding date on here?
  • edited December 2011
    oh god littlelight, you are really getting married again? We get to be graced with your presence some more?

    And Ekobs, the party line/thinking on switching to cash liquor halfway through is that it is confusing for guests and embarrassing when they go up to order and drink and suddenly are charged. However, in reality I doubt this really happens to many people and I personally think it is great to offer your guests all options. Just something to think about...
  • edited December 2011
    Ekobs....  I find nothing wrong with having open beer/wine.  We had a set dollar amount for my first daughter's wedding in June of 07.  Her reception started at 6:30 and that dollar amount was reached at 10:30.  So it lasted most of the night.  We had open beer/wine all night for 2nd daughter's wedding in November of 08.  There was alcohol available for those who wanted to purchase it.  For third daughter's wedding, this coming June, we were doing open beer/wine all night also, but her fiance's parents offered to pay the difference between beer/wine and full open bar so that's the route we are going this time around.  At first 2 weddings, all our guests seemed perfectly happy with what was offered.  A good time was had by all.  I recently attended a wedding that only had open bar during cocktail hour.  And due to the shuttle bus getting lost, we only got to take advantage of it for less then 1/2 an hour...  no fault of the bride & grooms.. it happened.  But, it didn't take away from the good time that was had by all.  I honestly think most people are grateful for what they are offered at weddings these days.  I am honored to be invited to the weddings.  If I have to buy a couple of drinks during the course of the evening, so be it.  Anyway.. sorry for the ramble... open beer/wine, in my opinion is perfectly acceptable and appreciated by all!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Meaghan!  I think it will be ok since it changes over to no liquor after cocktail  hour, so it's a logical break. 
  • edited December 2011

    Well said, motbx3...def the point I was trying to get across.

  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_open-bar-poll-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:49c283ac-426f-4704-b9e2-046a5256dedaPost:4389b397-07b6-46bb-8fa0-9c234cd85aed">Re: Open bar poll. What are you doing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am having a cash bar and I am not ashamed. I also don't see the point in getting upset over what other people are doing at their wedding. We have our reasons for it and they are very valid to us. The least of all is money but our budget is around $16,000 for 250 people. For me and FI it was more important to have our large family and our friends there then to have a cash bar and most of our guests feel the same way. It was a tough decision for us but we did what we had to do and I agree with megandjay, I have NEVER judged anybody about their wedding situations. I<strong> understand etiquette but I will say that I don't really follow it all the time</strong> <strong>and quite honestly, none of my family or friends really care.</strong> I truly believe that everyone will have a great time and in the long run there won't be many people who remember my wedding rfor how tacky my bar choice was. That being said, I do understand though that different social circles look at things differently and that it some people will really look down on you for you poor "etiquette" decisions.
    Posted by AlwaysABridesmaid...[/QUOTE]

    Fwiw, there's no way of knowing this.  OF COURSE no one will say it to your face, but people can and will talk behind your back. 
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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