Liberal Catholic Church in Boston?

MichelleRago

We would like to get married in a Catholic Church, but we were hoping to find a Church that was more flexible/liberal with their ceremonies. We are just looking to personalize the ceremony a bit, and most of the Churches in Boston seem somewhat rigid.

For example, instead of a traditional reading, have someone read a special poem or something to that extent.

Any Catholic Churches in/around the Boston area would be of interest!

MeaghanandMichael

I got married at a very liberal church on Martha's Vineyard (where does it get more liberal than that?) and even they were not willing to do much. I am traditional bride, so I didn't want to, but I did ask since I was curious. You have to remember, Catholicism isn't really based on degrees of liberal to conservative (although the parishioners might be) but rather a set of doctrines that have been standard for hundereds and thousands of years. The closest I have seen some one on here come to bending these rules is "renting" a priest to do an outside Catholic ceremony. This I would be wary of this too as I doubt they were getting the real thing. I say if you want to get married in the Catholic Church, embrace it for what it is.

Anyway, I wish you lots of luck in your search, but I wouldn't get your hopes up unfortunately.

Galaxy8227

I agree with Meg. the chances of you finding a priest inside the Catholic church to do this is very slim to none.  I consider our priest to be more "laid back" than others I have met and I know he would never allow this.  Perhaps getting married outside of the Catholic church might be better for you if changing the ceremony means a lot to you.  Good luck

laura030

Hi! If you definitely want to get married in a church, this wouldn't be the right thing for you, but if you did decide to think about having the wedding elsewhere you should look into Tom Welch as a justice of the peace. He is going to do our wedding, and when we met him we were so impressed. He is very poetic and is open to making ceremonies more or less traditional in terms of rituals and readings, etc... He was a Catholic priest for 20 years or something but now is on a leave of absence - he also does social work. I think part of what I liked when I met him was his priest-like way of speaking! Good luck!

laura030

this is his website: http://www.welchweddings.com/

CCBelle

Perhaps you could include the poem in your program? 

eouellet

I got married at Saint Cecila in the Back Bay, and we loved working with their coordinator Mark.  We had a pretty traditional ceremony so I can't say for sure that they would be open to substituting out religious readings for non-religious readings, but I imagine they might at least be open to letting you supplement the traditional readings with others.  They had no problem letting us write our own vows or anything like that (although we chose not to.)  The church is beyond beautiful, and we were SO pleased with everything there - it is actually our home parish as well.

Wishin986

Slightly different - but for my grandfather's funeral 10 years ago they read a poem my sister wrote.  The church was  a pain in the butt about it and the eulogy (apparently they discourage them nowadays) but in the end they still let us read it.  So if it's something as little as a really personal poem you may be able to push and get it in - but you probably won't be able to switch things up too much and you would still have to have the traditional readings in there

megandjay

The Catholic Church now gives you a booklet called "Together for Life" and from that you choose the readings, etc for the ceremony. There is no flexibility in the book. Although they do allow a unity candle (which is not traditional). I doubt you would find a priest, especially one who has never met you, who would allow such significant changes. The readings are an important part of a religious ceremony. I wish you the best of luck, but suggest you might look at other denominations than Catholic.

eouellet

Megandjay, we actually did use a reading (albeit religious) that was not in Together for Life, so some churches actually do let you stray from the book...but again, not sure that they would let you forego the religious readings altogether.

megandjay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_liberal-catholic-church-boston?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:4f4636f6-90ac-4025-8809-6bdb6cdc6489Post:4c80a9d8-f033-49c5-99fa-f6193b6f8f94">Re: Liberal Catholic Church in Boston?</a>:
[QUOTE]Megandjay, we actually did use a reading (albeit religious) that was not in Together for Life, so some churches actually do let you stray from the book...but again, not sure that they would let you forego the religious readings altogether.
Posted by eouellet[/QUOTE]

At  Church that you have never been to before?

eouellet

No, we've been there but I'm fairly confident that that's irrelevant in how our church runs their ceremonies; I do not believe we got any sort of special treatment.  I'm sure that you are correct in that there are some churches who will not allow deviations from Together for Life, but there are also some that are more open to it.  

megandjay

But, did you use a Biblical reading? Or did you replace a reading with a personal poem?
I could see a priest allowing a reading outside of the suggested ones from Together for Life, but I don't see them allowing a personal poem as a replacement for a Biblical reading. And it would still follow the template of Together for Life.

shaylin1001

I don't know if you are open to other denominations or not, but if you are, the Episcopal Church is VERY similar to Catholic in terms of ceremonies, etc. but (esp. in Massachusetts) they are very liberal. 
Diomass.org is the website if you're interested. (Obviously, there are variances in flexibility depending on the priest you find, but they tend to be less rigid.)
Good luck!

eouellet

As I said above, it was Biblical and yes, again as I've already said, I agree that a personal poem would not be allowed to be substituted for a Biblical reading.  But your assertion that "there is no flexibility in the book" is too broad a statement in some parishes - coming from someone who is already married whose parish was somewhat flexible in the use of Together for Life.

MelissaWhall

I hate to say the same thing but from my experiance, the Catholic church is very strict about what they will and will not allow. At my sisters wedding the priest did do a little sidetrack story about my sister and her husband but, I really don't think they are going to let you read anything unless its right out of the bible:) You could always ask the priest what he would suggest to help you personalize it. good luck

Shazzie116

If you're looking for something more poetic, we used a reading from Song of Songs, which is actually in Together for Life. 

CassiePEI

Give Father Sheridan at St. James in Salem a call.

I met with him the other day, and he was really nice and relatively young for a priest (around 40?).  He said that St. James is more liberal than other churches, and less uptight.

I didn't talk to him about any ceremony specifics, but it's worth a shot.

And the church is BEAUTIFUL!

Shazzie116

Just an aside, I don't think it's about a Catholic church being "liberal" or "uptight". The church traditions are what they are. If you want poems or alternate readings, you should consider looking at another denomination church. I honestly think you'll be incredibly hard pressed to find a priest or church who will allow you to pick readings that aren't from the Bible. 

Perhaps if you think of it this way - you personalize your wedding ceremony or Mass through the readings and music you choose. Just because it's from the Bible or a hymnal doesn't mean it's cookie cutter. There are traditional readings and hymns that are definitely more typically included in weddings, but if you really want a Catholic ceremony or Mass, and do your research, I'm sure you'll find components that really reflect you and your FI. 

And regarding your OP, you might want to give the Paulist Center a try. http://www.paulistboston.com/index.asp

eouellet

I agree with Shazzie - we chose readings from the Bible and music that we really did personally connect with, and I felt like our wedding was personalized to us.  In no way did I view the traditions of the church as rigid or uptight; we were the ones who chose to get married in the Church after all. 

Because I was interested in this question, I did a bit of research and found that some dioceses will consider allowing you to add a non-Scriptural reading to, say, the end of your ceremony, but it will not be allowed during the Liturgy of the Word, so there is probably no way you'd be able to substitute out the Scriptural passages altogether (and really, if you want to be married in the Catholic church, I agree that you should be committed to following the traditions of a Catholic marriage ceremony).  The dioceses I found that allowed a non-Scriptural reading to be added after the Liturgy said that it would have to be a passage that really emphasized the sanctity of the sacrament, so would probably still have to be at least religious in nature.  I couldn't find anything about the Archdiocese of Boston's policy, but if you do decide to be married in the Catholic church and ask around to area churches, I would formulate your approach in line with the above - you might find a bit more leniency if you go about it that way.

EKobrenski

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_liberal-catholic-church-boston?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:4f4636f6-90ac-4025-8809-6bdb6cdc6489Post:6c77c14a-cc7c-4554-9a01-2540ee563bcf">Re: Liberal Catholic Church in Boston?</a>:
[QUOTE]The closest I have seen some one on here come to bending these rules is "renting" a priest to do an outside Catholic ceremony. This I would be wary of this too as I doubt they were getting the real thing.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

That would be me.  We were considering using rent-a-priest for awhile, mostly for the convenience of our guests (we could have the ceremony in the same location as the reception).  It is basically an organization of priests who have been married.  While the priest is still considered a priest by the Catholic Church, he is not allowed to officiate at sacraments, so, no, it would not be "the real thing".  I was always clear about this, as was the priest I contacted through them. 

Regarding the OP, I think a lot of newly engaged brides want to make every aspect of the wedding personal to them.  I went through this as well.  There's nothing wrong with that, but there is something nice about tradition as well, and tastefully blending the two.  Like pp said, you can still make the ceremony very personal while using scriptural readings.  You could have the poem in the program, or maybe ask the priest to mention it as part of his homily, since it is a reflection of you as a couple.  I think you and your FI need to decide what your priorities are: having a ceremony you can totally create from scratch and is very personal, or having a traditional Catholic ceremony with just a few personal touches.  There's nothing wrong with either, just what works for you.  Good luck! 

MichelleRago

Thanks, everyone, for the feedback. As I am Catholic, I am happy with many of the traditions, but my fiancee comes from a diverse background and is not familiar with the traditions nor do they mean much to him. I thought perhaps we could combine both to make it special for both of us. I was in no way knocking the traditional Catholic weddings or readings.