Need suggestions on how to handle...

megandjared14

So I asked my sister to be my maid of honor. I did so hesatantly as we have had problems for as long as I can remember, but did so to appease my mom. Long story short we had a big falling out and I am not willing to deal with her for the remainder of the planning. I had originally wanted to just ask my cousin, who I had asked to be a bridesmaid. So now I really want to know if it is acceptable to ask her to  be the maid of honor, or if I should just forgo a maid of honor? If it is acceptable how do I go about asking her?  Thank you for any advice you can offer.

rubyredlucy

I'm sorry you and your sister had a fight.  In the interest of avoiding any further fights, and because you have 10 months to go, I suggest you hold off on making any decisions right now.  If there is any chance that you and your sister may reconcile, it will be destroyed the second you demote her from MOH.  And there's a chance that your sister may step down from that role on her own.

As for your cousin, I would wait a little while before making her MOH, until things with your sister are more settled.  You can choose not to have a MOH at all, or ask your cousin when you get closer to the wedding- there's no rush.

I'm not having a MOH- I didn't want to choose between my two sisters and best friend.  It won't really make a difference; we'll just have to figure out who stands next to me at the altar and if anyone wants to give a speech.

Good luck!

LoveAdopted

I understand your position here.. I have two sisters, and a best friend who I am closest to out of the three of them. I asked my freind to be my MOH, because I knew I could count on her and because she is like a sister to me.

I don't think you can ask your sister to step down now, but I wonder if you can talk with both her and your cousin and explain that you really don't feel right just picking one of them, and you would like them both to be the MOH. That way, like pp said, your rebuilding of your relationship with your sister won't be destroyed, but you can still ask your cousin. Maybe you could also have an aunt or something who knows both you and your sister to talk to your sister, and ask if she is really up to everything that a MOH should be.