Who to send Shower Invites to...

BostonGirl82

My bridesmaids asked me to put together a list of who I would like to invite to my bridal shower. When I was at my FIL's house this weekend for Easter, I brought up the topic to my FMIL. They have a lot of family in Canada that are invited to the wedding (this includes FI's aunts), but I was not going to invite them to the shower since I know they probably will not make it. FMIL thinks that it would be a nice gesture if I invited them anyway, which I agree, but I don't want it to seem like I am expecting a shower gift from them.

Thoughts? Did you just keep your shower invites to local ladies?

TeebagyAndNorth

Rather than go by georgraphy, I went by relationship. I invited the women in my family, the women in FH's immediate family (aunts and female first cousins) and my close friends. None of FH's great aunts or further removed cousins. None of FMIL's friends.. 

I don't think its rude to invite his aunts if you know them. If you've never met them then I think it may come off as gift grabby even if you do not intend it that way.

evseidl

I dunno-- topics like this come up alot on the boards, and I still kind of stick to my guns:

if they're family, or close enough to be considered family-- invite them.  If they find out about the shower and were not invited, they'll just feel bad.  I think I would.  I know lots of folks who actually go to showers and don't bring a gift too-- but perhaps that just in my crew/family.  We just get together for the sake of getting together, presents are just dandy, but not required.  

Give them a chance to decide.. invite them.

EKobrenski

Ditto Evs.  There are a lot of etiquette rules regarding showers that sometimes need to be broken for the sake of family peace, avoiding hurt feelings, etc.

For instance, my FMIL insisted on inviting a bunch of friends of hers that I have never met to the shower. When I found out, I was really stressed that I would look gift grabby, especially since the shower was already pretty big due to the size of my and FI's families.  I ended up just letting it go to avoid irritating the FMIL, and my mom said they have all rsvp'd yes and left messages saying how excited they were to go, etc. 

Your FMIL knows them better than you do, and unless you read her as kind of socially clueless in other situations, i would just trust her judgement.  Good luck!