Question about inviting co-workers

court115

I work in a small office where in the past 2 years, mine will be the third wedding. Everyone in the office was invited to the other two weddings. The first wedding the office was on the B list so we had to wait until enough people said no before we were invited and for the second wedding, the office was on the A list so we were all automatically invited. Now here's my question, there is one co-worker whom I work with who can not stand me - really hates my guts - so I really don't want to even give her the opportunity to attend. If I don't invite her, I can't invite anyone else in my office, all of whom I really would like to be there. Should I just bite the bullet and invite everyone, including my friend-emy or tell them that there wasn't enough room on my list to invite the entire office? I don't want to look like the jerk who didn't invite the office to her wedding but at the same time, I don't want to put up with my co-worker's passive agressive backhanded compliments on my wedding day - like I do every other day of my life.

achiduck

No matter what you do, please don't B-list, it's rude and makes guests uncomfortable. 

When it comes to inviting coworkers it's usually not an all-or-nothing situation, but it seems like in your case it will obviously single this one person out. Do you think she would actually attend if you invited her? Will you make the situation worse if you don't invite her?

If you do invite her you're not forced to spend a lot of time with her and there will be so many other people for you to greet. So there's that to think about.

[Deleted User]

Are there any co-workers you interact with outside of work?  I would just invite that group and ask them to be descreet about the invitations.

I am not inviting anyone from my current office.  Also, keep the wedding talk to a minimum at work.

MyUserName1

If you genuinely want all the rest of your co-workers there, I say you should invite the biyatch too and just avoid spending time with her.  There will be a ton of other things on your mind and you (really!) probably won't even notice her.

And please don't do a B-List.  It's super rude.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-inviting-co-workers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00b240a2-c3e1-48cc-8e07-55d88fb83bebPost:6f2e53fe-fab9-4d65-bd7b-59f645f541d6">Re: Question about inviting co-workers</a>:
[QUOTE]If you genuinely want all the rest of your co-workers there, I say you should invite the biyatch too and just avoid spending time with her.  There will be a ton of other things on your mind and you (really!) probably won't even notice her. <strong>And please don't do a B-List.  It's super rude.</strong>
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

I didn't see ANYTHING that suggested she was considering a B-list.  She was just telling us how it's worked in the past in the office. 

If you want to invite everyone else, I would just invite her.  Honestly, if she really hates you that much, I can't imagine her coming.  If she does, I highly doubt she'll do anything to remind you how much she hates you.

aleighk1

Get the addresses of the people you want to invite from work, and send them to their homes. Then, maybe you could explain to them privately that not everyone was invited so keep their talk of the wedding to a minimum. 

court115

Thanks for the advice ladies! I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and invite everyone. You're right when you say I'll be so busy that day that I won't have to deal with her other than for a few seconds.

staceycaine

If she truly hates you, she probably won't even come, so what's the harm in inviting her?

Grits8812

From the sound of it, even if you did invite her she wouldn't show up.  I don't know why she would since she isn't your biggest fan.

Either invite everyone, or like PP said, invite those you want to come and ask them to please keep talk of it out of the office, because you didn't have the room for everyone to be asked.