low budget I want my day!!!

karenkardash24

Just want my dress & him in a tux. outdoor wedding,  we have a beautiful towns square that is lit up with thousands of lights, horse drawn carriage rides available, very popular for evening strolls. I want to get married  12-12-12 which is on a wednesday!!! here we go.....   who do we invite? his family lives out of town, his parents in the same state as we do, so they could attend, my parents can attend as well,  he has close friends who live 2 hours away, I say with plenty of notice he can make it to the wedding. we're in church an have some close friends we attend bible study classes with that we may want to invite. our church isnt available do to christmas play rehersal.    can I have a wedding shower? Is rude to invite guest to have  dinner with us  afterwards , but  how do i say we arent  buying there dinner!!! Is that rude?                                                                                        2nd choice get married 12-12-12 he and I  only and have a commitment ceremony in june where we have  wedding attire and some of his family may be able to attend from out of town (sisters & brothers) he has 9 so not everyone will be available at that date anyway......     my only thing is my father has cancer and may not be here in june...

lauralaur

There's a lot going on here...

I know nothing about the climate in Arkansas, will it be cold in December? If yes, I recommend moving the wedding indoors.

Wednesday may be a difficult day for people to make as they will likely need to take time off from work to attend so be prepared for some declines.

Invite those that you want to attend and can afford to host.

You can have a shower if someone offers to throw one for you, if no one offers, then you do not get a shower. Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower.

You should host SOMETHING afterwards to thank your guests for attending, even if it is simply cake and punch at your church. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive, but it should be something and it should be appropriate for the time of day. There is no polite way to invite people to dinner following the ceremony and then inform them that they must pay their own way.

I say either do it in December or do it in June, but pick one or the other, not both.

With your Dad, consider your wishes and consider your father's. Your father may really want to be there for your wedding, or he may not want you to make your plans around him. You may not want to plan a wedding while your father is ill. Only you can make the call to get married sooner or later.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:9724398d-120a-4abd-babe-a05551b7a2f7">low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Just want my dress & him in a tux. outdoor wedding,  we have a beautiful towns square that is lit up with thousands of lights, horse drawn carriage rides available, very popular for evening strolls. I want to get married  12-12-12 which is on a wednesday!!! here we go.....   who do we invite? his family lives out of town, his parents in the same state as we do, so they could attend, my parents can attend as well,  he has close friends who live 2 hours away, I say with plenty of notice he can make it to the wedding. we're in church an have some close friends we attend bible study classes with that we may want to invite. our church isnt available do to christmas play rehersal.    can I have a wedding shower? Is rude to invite guest to have  dinner with us  afterwards , but  how do i say we arent  buying there dinner!!! Is that rude?                                                                                        2nd choice get married 12-12-12 he and I  only and have a commitment ceremony in june where we have  wedding attire and some of his family may be able to attend from out of town (sisters & brothers) he has 9 so not everyone will be available at that date anyway......     my only thing is my father has cancer and may not be here in june...
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Get married when you want. However, you get ONE day. So pick December or pick June. </div><div>
</div><div>You can invite whoever you want. Just make sure that you can properly host everyone that you invite. (Yes, that means you buy their dinner). </div><div>
</div><div>You can have a shower as long as someone offers to throw you one.

</div>

karenkardash24

also have someone who wants to throw the shower, jus wasnt sure if that was cheesey, since its a small wedding!!!december is cold here!!! but  plan no more than a 12 minute ceremony, town center is like 1200.00 LOW budget!!!  ok so I have a place that I can  have a reception after where I can have dinner in which I can budget for food  & buy your own alcohol  thats not tacky is it?&  cake and throw the bouquet!  yes I can budget a dinner I plan on no more than 20 to 30 ppl attending Ithe wedding,  plan on getting married at 630.  is that better?

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:8897f8ba-6bba-42ed-8af0-03a719f78f8b">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]also have someone who wants to throw the shower, jus wasnt sure if that was cheesey, since its a small wedding!!!december is cold here!!! but  plan no more than a 12 minute ceremony, town center is like 1200.00 LOW budget!!!  ok so I have a place that I can  have a reception after where I can have dinner in which I can budget for food  & buy your own alcohol  thats not tacky is it?&  cake and throw the bouquet!  yes I can budget a dinner I plan on no more than 20 to 30 ppl attending Ithe wedding,  plan on getting married at 630.  is that better?
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]

<div>No, paying for alcohol is not better than paying for dinner. Just do a dry wedding if you can't pay for alcohol.</div><div>
</div><div>But hold on, you want to get married <em>at night</em> outside in the cold? I would be more excited to come to a wedding in your bathroom than I would be to stand outside in the cold in December at night. </div>

karenkardash24

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/0/e26a53bf-c898-4db9-8014-16ebb8622119.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/0/e26a53bf-c898-4db9-8014-16ebb8622119.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a> this place is magical!!!!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:7ef3a2e7-aa3c-43fc-a6e9-7f8fee0557e1">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: low budget I want my day!!! : No, paying for alcohol is not better than paying for dinner. Just do a dry wedding if you can't pay for alcohol. But hold on, you want to get married at night  outside in the cold? I would be more excited to come to a wedding in your bathroom than I would be to stand outside in the cold in December at night. 
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]                                                                                                   

karenkardash24

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/8/33c88cd2-43e8-42f4-b831-f364dd8600d5.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/8/33c88cd2-43e8-42f4-b831-f364dd8600d5.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:cdbd66f0-e463-4624-bc92-5d8a2cd686f1">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]this place is magical!!!! In Response to Re: low budget I want my day!!! :                                                                                                    
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:cdbd66f0-e463-4624-bc92-5d8a2cd686f1">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]this place is magical!!!! In Response to Re: low budget I want my day!!! :                                                                                                    
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]

<div>If I showed up, I'd be wasted because that's the only way anyone would get me there in the freezing cold. And then I'd miss your ceremony because I'd need to pee. Just being honest. </div>

karenkardash24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:dda38c34-4298-443f-a928-37657c41be21">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hon, I'm standing outside downtown right now in dress slacks, a sweater, and a coat, and it's uncomfortably cold. There is no way it will be okay in December. A 12 mInute ceremony still means guests arriving early, trying to find parking during a possible Manaheim Steamrollers concert AND a Theatre Squared invitational dress performance, walking up to the square, standing until your ceremony is over, then walking back to wherever they managed to park their cars. We're still talking 45 minutes or more outside in the freezing cold, in DRESS clothes, standing and walking on hard concrete. Also, have you been on the square during the festival of lights before? Where are you planning on having the ceremony exactly that will a fit 30 plus people in one spot and b will be able to be heard over the Xmas music blaring from the speakers, the pony rides, and the carriages? Have you checked to see if you need a permit yet, because with that many people gathering in one place, you might. Please please find another spot. I get that you want your cool anniversary date, but is it really more important than the comfort of your family and friends? That's awfully selfish of you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]                                                                                                                                                             it is  also 3 hours past the time i would be married, selfish  really can I have one day for 30 minutes max.....  If you knew me you'd know that I am always thinking of others ALWAYS ... I have sat in 95 degree outdoor weddings or huddled under a tint in rain before you name  it.....I am always GIVING cause thats what I do & what Im about , helping others  ..... 

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:ce86edd2-b15b-460e-95d2-e107d6b2c31b">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:low budget I want my day!!! :                                                                                                                                                              it is  also 3 hours past the time i would be married, selfish  really can I have one day for 30 minutes max.....  If you knew me you'd know that I am always thinking of others ALWAYS ... I have sat in 95 degree outdoor weddings or huddled under a tint in rain before you name  it.....I am always GIVING cause thats what I do & what Im about , helping others  ..... 
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]

<div>But... December is colder. Annnnd it gets dark earlier in December. </div><div>
</div><div>Seriously?</div>

karenkardash24

 yes and its magical, I love people and all that it entails the lights the music , the noise, oh and they can wear as many layers as they want Im not asking anyone to glam it up!!!!!   thanks though I appreciate your input!!!!! there will be some rude ppl about my choices , but thats what makes ppl different and if there my true friends , they will be there!!!                             In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:00a03110-21ac-4f4a-9a08-3ee133c2e20e">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Um, again I ask if you've actually been to the square during the Festival of Lights before? I'm not asking to be mean, I'm honestly curious. Those photos are from at least 3 years ago because they don't light the outside buildings of the square anymore, just the center. I agree it's pretty. It's my favorite place in the world when I'm walking around with DH, dressed in warm layers and drinking hot cocoa. But it is NOT the place for a wedding.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:ce86edd2-b15b-460e-95d2-e107d6b2c31b">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:low budget I want my day!!! :                                                                                                                                                              it is  also 3 hours past the time i would be married, selfish  really can I have one day for 30 minutes max.....  If you knew me you'd know that I am always thinking of others ALWAYS ... I have sat in 95 degree outdoor weddings or huddled under a tint in rain before you name  it.....I am always GIVING cause thats what I do & what Im about , helping others  ..... 
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]
I call bullpucky on this.  No one who is "always thinking of others" plans on having their guests stand outside at night in the middle of winter so that they can get married somewhere they think is pretty.  If you want to get married then and there, do not invite any guests.  Once you invite guests you have to put THEIR comfort over your desires. 

Adults make decisions based on what is the best idea, not based on "ZOMG IT'S SO PRETTY AND MAGICAL!!!1!!111!!!"

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:a59c787b-6b52-40ad-845d-aaeae88c94bc">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE] yes and its magical, I love people and all that it entails the lights the music , the noise, oh and they can wear as many layers as they want Im not asking anyone to glam it up!!!!!   thanks though I appreciate your input!!!!! there will be some rude ppl about my choices , but thats what makes ppl different and if there my true friends , they will be there!!!                             In Response to Re:low budget I want my day!!! :
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]
Ugh.  Just ugh. 

allychase

Uhhhh.... Obviously MUD.... Why is anyone wasting their time addressing the troll

QueerFemme

In Response to Re:low budget I want my day!!!:[QUOTE]also have someone who wants to throw the shower, jus wasnt sure if that was cheesey, since its a small wedding!!!december is cold here!!! butnbsp; plan no more than a 12 minute ceremony, town center is like 1200.00 LOW budget!!!nbsp; ok so I have a place that I cannbsp; have a reception after where I can have dinner in which I can budget for foodnbsp; amp; buy your own alcoholnbsp; thats not tacky is it?amp;nbsp; cake and throw the bouquet!nbsp; yes I can budget a dinner I plan on no more than 20 to 30 ppl attending Ithe wedding,nbsp; plan on getting married at 630.nbsp; is that better? Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]


Have your wedding indoors. An outdoor ceremony in the middle of winter is rude. If you and your groom want to take some photos outdoors,then fine. But don't do that to your guests. People arrive 1520 minutes early. So even if your ceremony is 510 minutes, your guests will be outside and cold for up to half hour. Unless you plan on renting chairs and heaters, you should rethink this plan.

Yes. You have to pay for dinner. If you don't want to pay for drinks, have a dry wedding somewhere. Asking guests to take out their wallet for any reason at your reception is rude.

Lastly, I realize the 121212 thing is the date you want. But I am sure it will likely be inconvenient to most of your guests. Its just a date. Why not go for Friday or Saturday.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:5cb37d93-227b-4b24-8670-e9b373c01285">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]There's a lot going on here... I know nothing about the climate in Arkansas, will it be cold in December? If yes, I recommend moving the wedding indoors. Wednesday may be a difficult day for people to make as they will likely need to take time off from work to attend so be prepared for some declines. Invite those that you want to attend and can afford to host. You can have a shower if someone offers to throw one for you, if no one offers, then you do not get a shower. Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. You should host SOMETHING afterwards to thank your guests for attending, even if it is simply cake and punch at your church. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive, but it should be something and it should be appropriate for the time of day. There is no polite way to invite people to dinner following the ceremony and then inform them that they must pay their own way. I say either do it in December or do it in June, but pick one or the other, not both. With your Dad, consider your wishes and consider your father's. Your father may really want to be there for your wedding, or he may not want you to make your plans around him. You may not want to plan a wedding while your father is ill. Only you can make the call to get married sooner or later.
Posted by lauralaur[/QUOTE]


lauralura said it for me

GoodLuckBear14

OP - nobody who ever, much less always, thinks of others would ever even consider your plans.  I agree with Stage: how old are you?  I ask because adults never put a date ahead of anyone else's comfort - and what exactly is stopping you from just taking pictures intheis "magical" place?

thejucheidea

I keep trying to read her posts but all I see is derp derp derp derp derp derpderpderp herp derp.

kmmssg

Between her screen name and the ridiculousness of her post, I call MUD.

rajahmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:a7547412-305b-4acc-a022-193ccecd6308">Re: low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Between her screen name and the ridiculousness of her post, I call MUD.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>I thought the exact same thing. If not, she has an unfortunate last name.</div>

Gabrielle76

On the plus side, I guess her guests can be her something blue...

wrigleyville

Could you have the ceremony in a church close to the park and then do photos with all the pretty lights? You could wear a fur wrap. It would be lovely.

My hometown has churches surrounding the town square where they have the lights every year. Is yours set up the same way? That might be a good compromise.

If you don't want to pay for alcohol for your guests, you can have a dry wedding. Another cheap alternative is to serve beer and alcoholic punch and/or wine.

Also, you shouldn't have to ask your guests to suffer to be a "true friend". A true friend is someone who is there through thick and thin, and that goes both ways. You aren't being much of a friend if you ask your guests to attend a cold, weeknight, outdoor wedding. Just because others have had less than optimal conditions doesn't mean it's okay. It isn't tit for tat.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_low-budget-i-want-my-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0133a06c-cf9f-491a-b68a-1feb5d5f7dcfPost:a59c787b-6b52-40ad-845d-aaeae88c94bc">Re:low budget I want my day!!!</a>:
[QUOTE] yes and its magical, I love people and all that it entails the lights the music , the noise, oh and they can wear as many layers as they want Im not asking anyone to glam it up!!!!!   thanks though I appreciate your input!!!!! there will be some rude ppl about my choices , but thats what makes ppl different and if there my true friends , they will be there!!!                             In Response to Re:low budget I want my day!!! :
Posted by karenkardash24[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>So what exactly did you want from this post? You got very honest advice from several women and don't seem to care.  If you came here for justification for your choices, obviously you know how unaccommodating and selfish you are being and how uncomfortable and unhappy you will make your guests. I too am wondering how old you are..</div>

vanityink

My friend's friend had an outdoor wedding in late march in Georgia (where it's generally 70 during the day by that point (and high-50s/low-60s at night) and they had a freak cold snap. They had a heated tent for the reception, but the ceremony was kept outside, unheated, in 40-degree weather. I didn't hear anything about the ceremony other than how cold it was. I'm not sure any of the guests even really paid attention to the cermony. 

Peledreamsofrain

Is anyone else imagining a suuuper frazzled and pissed looking bride with her mascara running an frozen to her face while she screams at her empty 'magical' square about how wonderful she is and how unfair the guests are to her by not showing? can't change facts, and the facts are that people don't like being uncomfortable. Please contact Bridezillas, I really really want to see this go down.