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Please help.

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Re: Please help.

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    I agree with PP that this is not a "tragedy," but it's also not a scene in a movie.  It will not be a relaxing weekend for family, especially the FILs, who will have to choose between a RD and a wedding.  They will be stressed because they will not have practiced the night before if they choose FSIL's wedding.  I'm sure they will also be stressed with all of the coordination involved with coordinating 2 back-to-back wedding days.  It might also be stressful for family who have to travel to make it to FSIL's wedding and then travel and additional 3 hours to OP's wedding.  If their weddings were in the same town and purposely planned to be a joint celebration, it might be fun.  But since they obviously will be planned as separate events, this will double the level of stress for some people.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:d55831ec-3529-4e8c-a4f0-0f7e6d5fc1cb">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please help. : That entire post smacked of smug self-righteousness.
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. It seems to be a common theme for a lot of posts she makes. </div>
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    If her fiancé won't look at you or B, he must know how hurtful it is that she's put your fiancé's parents in this position. I'm with garcias - what sucks about this situation isn't the proximity of the weddings in terms of the date, but the sheer logistical nightmare it creates for everyone in the family. I'd also be more sympathetic to the sister if she had a legitimate reason besides "I like the number 18" and wasn't whining about her parents "choosing his wedding over hers." It sounds like she's trying to make things as difficult as possible.
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    Well FMIL called a little bit ago and filled me in on the whole lunch situation. Apparently FSIL wants to be the first of the kids to get married. Which, I understand. She's the oldest and only daughter. Honestly, if she got married the week before us, no big deal. FMIL just explained to her that something has got to give. She doesn't want to miss either event and if FSIL decides to go through with her 11/18/11 plans, she will have to miss her wedding. FSIL did the whole "Why is he more important than me, I'm your only daughter". FMIL stood her ground and explained that she has a prior commitment, and FSIL knew this when she chose her date. FSIL caved. They haven't set the new date yet.


    But FSIL has now posted all over Facebook about how her dream wedding is on wait because her little brother is most important to the  family.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:619dbd2b-5f16-4065-a096-5cff4dbc9bdb">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry I can't be more sympathetic to this "tragedy,"  but I am remembering the scene from Gone With the Wind where Scarlet and Melanie are married a few days apart.  The wedding guests just went from one wedding to the other, and it was a very festive and JOYOUS time.  It sounds like there is more going on here than just wedding dates.  Assuming there are no other issues, I would say join forces with your future sister-in-law and make it a really spectacular family celebration for after all that is really what it is.  My wedding was Saturday and fortunately everything was fantastic, but the best part was having my family with me after a couple of very rough years following the loss of our mother.  I really didn't care what anyone wore (my sister and I shopped for her dress and my niece's dress the day before the wedding and everyone looked great).  Just having their love and support meant everything.  Again, unless there are already bad feelings between the two of you and this is just another reason to be irritated, I would exploit the situation and have a really spectacular family party.  <strong>It really is a lot more fun than being the Queen for a Day anyway</strong>.
    Posted by Alexmom2[/QUOTE]

    Who said anything about being "Queen for a Day" anways?

    I just want both families at the RD, is that really too much to ask for?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:fde9d658-a32f-4e2d-b1c5-3b2bad546082">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well FMIL called a little bit ago and filled me in on the whole lunch situation. Apparently FSIL wants to be the first of the kids to get married. Which, I understand. She's the oldest and only daughter. Honestly, if she got married the week before us, no big deal. FMIL just explained to her that something has got to give. She doesn't want to miss either event and if FSIL decides to go through with her 11/18/11 plans, she will have to miss her wedding. FSIL did the whole "Why is he more important than me, I'm your only daughter". FMIL stood her ground and explained that she has a prior commitment, and FSIL knew this when she chose her date. FSIL caved. They haven't set the new date yet. <strong>But FSIL has now posted all over Facebook about how her dream wedding is on wait because her little brother is most important to the  family.
    </strong>Posted by aniston88[/QUOTE]

    OMFG what a giant tool.  She doesn't have to move it back, she can totally move it forward.  Someone needs to forward that to Failbook.

    Yay for FMIL standing her ground and I'm glad that everything worked out for you.  I'm also sad that you will be related by marriage to such a stupid heifer.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:fde9d658-a32f-4e2d-b1c5-3b2bad546082">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well FMIL called a little bit ago and filled me in on the whole lunch situation. Apparently FSIL wants to be the first of the kids to get married. Which, I understand. She's the oldest and only daughter. Honestly, if she got married the week before us, no big deal. FMIL just explained to her that something has got to give. She doesn't want to miss either event and if FSIL decides to go through with her 11/18/11 plans, she will have to miss her wedding. FSIL did the whole "Why is he more important than me, I'm your only daughter". FMIL stood her ground and explained that she has a prior commitment, and FSIL knew this when she chose her date. FSIL caved. They haven't set the new date yet. <strong>But FSIL has now posted all over Facebook about how her dream wedding is on wait because her little brother is most important to the  family.</strong>
    Posted by aniston88[/QUOTE]

    I'm really glad that FMIL held her ground.  I don't think I'm surprised by FSIL's reaction.  I guess you can just take pleasure in knowing that I'm sure everyone sees her FB post and knows she's being completely irrational.
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    Yay, I'm glad your FMIL is reasonable and stood her ground.

    FSIL sucks still.  I stand by my previous comments.

    Woo hoo!  You get to keep your wedding date!
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    Yay, I'm glad it worked out! Just ignore your FSIL (and Alexmom, for that matter).
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    I'm not defending your FSIL AT ALL but the last bit about facebook reeks of unresolved childhood issues.
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    Yay for FMIL!! Your future SIL sounds completely ridiculous. Good luck with her!! I'm so glad she's going to move her date. At least you have a good FMIL!
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    aniston88aniston88 member
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    edited December 2010
    FMIL is amazing. She's a bit nosey, but I can definitely deal with it after reading some of the horror stories on here.

    FSIL has always gotten her way. I had never known her to be like this, so I never asked. Well B told me she's been like this ever since he can remember. She's the oldest, she HAS to be first.

    He thinks because all of FMILs kids are so close in age she felt like she was the one that was always neglected because of being the oldest. He says she used to throw fits if she didn't get her breakfast first or she didn't get to ride in the front seat.
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