Wedding Etiquette Forum

Maid of horror!!!

I'm so irritated with my matron of honor. She keeps bringing up wedding talk when we're with some other bridesmaids, I've tried bean dipping and flat out saying that I don't want to talk about wedding stuff and she just wont let it go! Mainly what's being brought up is the bachelorette party, one girl will ask me what I would find fun and moh will jump down my throat and express how she will not leave her 9mo. Old overnight and will not stay out past midnight, though never did I say she had to ever! She keeps telling the other bridesmaids that it isn't their job to plan it since they are not the moh and they need to stay out of it which really upsets me because, like I mentioned to them, is that there is no written handbook that says moh must plan Bachparty and that if nobody plans it then I don't have one. Which is now what I'm affraid is going to happen. Moh refuses to do pretty much anything without her 9mo. Old and has even expressed that she'll probably be present for the bachelorette party until later in the evening. I'm at a loss of what to do. I know the other girls really want to plan something as they've expressed to me but they don't want to step on moh toes being that she has already told them off about planning once. I'd hate to decline a Bachelorette party but as of now, I feel like that's all I can do.

What makes matters worse is that I was her moh and gave her a stress free bachelorette party that she loved and this is how she's treated me through my entire engagement.

Sorry in advance for not spacing out my paragraphs, I'm using tk mobile.
Also, moh is not breast feeding. She is also about 8wks pregnant with her second if that has any relevance.
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Re: Maid of horror!!!

  • lindseyann410lindseyann410 member
    500 Comments
    edited June 2012
    Have you tried having your BMs tell her that since she's so busy with the baby, that they insist that they want to take some some of the burden from her and would love to do it?
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  • What does the MOH have in mind for your party?
    I mean, a nice dinner out or a fun afternoon with the girls (and baby) might be fun! Not so much the baby part. That sucks. Where is the father in this? I get not wanting to stay away overnight since the kid is still young, but for just a few hours?


    And you can still do stuff with these other girls on another day that's more their speed. Dont' call it a bachelorette party, though. Just call it a girls night out or girls weekend away.  If she declines, fine, that's on her.
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  • The dad will be with the guys. We could only get everyone together at a time which happens to be the weekend before the wedding and just so happens that day is left with us having to celebrate the same night. I may have to talk to the girls about trying to intervene but I feel really tacky doing that, like I'm begging for a bachelorette party or something. It just really sucks. She's one of those friends that you really don't want to get their panties in a twist urgh!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers THw1PKynnBZ4fVUGLPN1j6BKQ8d6ARbX4jGydYMHvUQ,QezptEgimhvAOeg49lyOshWKDraDzrdno-lHdColcd8
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-horror-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01dfa5bb-d408-4f07-8357-c8d319149c1dPost:a5958093-e9ef-408c-80cb-cf8d05a20051">Re:Maid of horror!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The dad will be with the guys. We could only get everyone together at a time which happens to be the weekend before the wedding and just so happens that day is left with us having to celebrate the same night. I may have to talk to the girls about trying to intervene but I feel really tacky doing that, like I'm begging for a bachelorette party or something. It just really sucks. She's one of those friends that you really don't want to get their panties in a twist urgh!
    Posted by JordynLeighx3[/QUOTE]
    So the guys get to be baby-free? That's not fair.

    I'd stay out of it, though and just go along for the ride. You can all do something together another time, sans baby.
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  • I mentioned something about the guys being baby free and she went off telling me I'm clearly not ready for children if I don't understand the responsibilities of what being a mother is. Only thing that sucks about doing it another day would be that not everyone could attend or it'd have to be after the wedding which to me isn't right and weird. Or, I just won't have one. To me that sounds pretty boring but stress free.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-horror-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01dfa5bb-d408-4f07-8357-c8d319149c1dPost:2dc1ffff-e884-40ae-8db4-93ae1db1a96c">Re:Maid of horror!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mentioned something about the guys being baby free and she went off telling me I'm clearly not ready for children if I don't understand the responsibilities of what being a mother is. Only thing that sucks about doing it another day would be that not everyone could attend or it'd have to be after the wedding which to me isn't right and weird. Or, I just won't have one. To me that sounds pretty boring but stress free.
    Posted by JordynLeighx3[/QUOTE]
    That's ridiculous and she was way out of line to say that to you.


    You can do something fun after the wedding, just don't make it wedding related. I mean, it's not like you need an excuse to hang out with your friends, right?
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  • In Response to Re:Maid of horror!!!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Maid of horror!!!:I mentioned something about the guys being baby free and she went off telling me I'm clearly not ready for children if I don't understand the responsibilities of what being a mother is. Only thing that sucks about doing it another day would be that not everyone could attend or it'd have to be after the wedding which to me isn't right and weird. Or, I just won't have one. To me that sounds pretty boring but stress free.Posted by JordynLeighx3That's ridiculous and she was way out of line to say that to you. You can do something fun after the wedding, just don't make it wedding related. I mean, it's not like you need an excuse to hang out with your friends, right? Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE] very true! Thanks!
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  • Send her over to STFU parents...
  •   Have you tried talking with her? Sounds like she has a lot on her plate. Or have the Bm tell her how much they can afford, and what would she like them to help with. 
      Having a baby is very time consuming, and I can say first time moms feel like they have to be super mom and do everything with no help. Being pregnant with her second so close she might be going threw some emotional roller coaster with hormones. My Fi can tell you how snappy, and grouchy a mommy to be can be (Not that i would ever be snippy, grouchy, or hateful)
      As to the guys getting baby free, I think that's really not fair. We plan to split the baby time up, and my 8 month old, who is breast feed will be with her dad, and her two year old brother for a few hours while we go to the spa. Then I will have the kids for while. 
      I really have a pet peeve when people talk about how dad's babysit. "Oh your so lucky your Fi will baby sit the kids" Why is that lucky, they are his kids, its not babysitting, its being a father. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_maid-of-horror-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01dfa5bb-d408-4f07-8357-c8d319149c1dPost:f7c529ab-8f43-4aa4-82ff-63c4ade280b2">Re: Maid of horror!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]  Have you tried talking with her? Sounds like she has a lot on her plate. Or have the Bm tell her how much they can afford, and what would she like them to help with.    Having a baby is very time consuming, and I can say first time moms feel like they have to be super mom and do everything with no help. Being pregnant with her second so close she might be going threw some emotional roller coaster with hormones. My Fi can tell you how snappy, and grouchy a mommy to be can be (Not that i would ever be snippy, grouchy, or hateful)   As to the guys getting baby free, I think that's really not fair. We plan to split the baby time up, and my 8 month old, who is breast feed will be with her dad, and her two year old brother for a few hours while we go to the spa. Then I will have the kids for while.   <strong> I really have a pet peeve when people talk about how dad's babysit. "Oh your so lucky your Fi will baby sit the kids" Why is that lucky, they are his kids, its not babysitting, its being a father. </strong>
    Posted by malakelle[/QUOTE]
    That is a huge pet peeve for me. It's not "baby sitting" when it's your own kid! When it's your own kid it's called "parenting."
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