Dollar Dance Replacement

NuggetBrain

Noodle's family lurves the idea of the dollar dance (so that people will get a chance to "interact" with us).  I am not a big fan of it.  Noodle doesn't care one way or the other.  In the interest of family harmony, has anybody done a good replacement for the DD?  Maybe people writing a wish or wedding advice down on a notecard instead of putting a dollar in the basket?  Or something?  I'm having brain freeze.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:7a2a4e8c-6ec8-4901-8edd-f9b8326c418d">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]I think another suggestion was to talk to the DJ about "forgetting" to do it all together.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Yup.  I'd "tip" your DJ $50 to forget all about it, and "forget" to work it in if somebody requests it. 

We are not having one under any circumstances.  Like, the DJ doesn't get paid if he starts one.  No way. 

baystateapple

My concern about having the DJ "forget" about it would be if overzealous family members approach you (or hell, even the DJ) to "remind" you that it has to take place.  What do you say then?

katieanne85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:5a67e325-dc42-4918-884b-365e62450674">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]My concern about having the DJ "forget" about it would be if overzealous family members approach you (or hell, even the DJ) to "remind" you that it has to take place.  What do you say then?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]
offer to dance with them for free?

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:33ed62ec-9205-402e-9a6c-cf8decb3fa11">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance Replacement : offer to dance with them for free?
Posted by katieanne85[/QUOTE]

I think that would be the only conceiveable way out of it, lol.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:5a67e325-dc42-4918-884b-365e62450674">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]My concern about having the DJ "forget" about it would be if overzealous family members approach you (or hell, even the DJ) to "remind" you that it has to take place.  What do you say then?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

The dance floor is packed.  I don't want to ask people to stop having a good time - just come dance with me anyway!

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:587109d7-edba-4748-861a-b1cf9d55bbf8">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance Replacement : The dance floor is packed.  I don't want to ask people to stop having a good time - just come dance with me anyway!
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Maybe I've only been to boring weddings, but I've never been to one where the dance floor was anywhere close to packed.

Regardless- you should probably just stand up to them that you do NOT want to do it. 

skippylouwho

I don't think you "tip" the dj to forget. You tell the DJ if you do a dollar dance ( or any others you don't want - YMCA, Hokey Pokey, etc) that they will NOT get paid.  Put it in your contract.

If someone asks you about it during the reception:  "thank you for asking, we prefer just to enjoy all our guests equally - would you like to dance, have you tried the bean dip. etc".

Same thing if it comes up before the big day: " We're chosen not to go that route, we want to enjoy....."

bel138

DH was all about the Bridal Dance. It's the Polish version of the DD, where only the bride dances and then the guests dance around her. Then the groom has to break through the crowd to get to her and dance, and carries her away.

We had FIGHTS about it. Like serious arguments, about a dance. Eventually, because he pretty much said it was the only wedding related thing he's ever cared about and looked forward, I gave in.

We did little advice cards at each place setting and made sure the emcee announced very prominently that we were doing the bridal dance with a twist. We got a lot of funny advice from people our age, but the older crowd still gave us over $300.

NuggetBrain

No dollar dance or replacement then.  Thanks guys!

katiewhompus

It's not worth it...I finally caved and said ok to a dollar dance after my grandmother started crying (yes, crying) when she heard we weren't having one. While it did have some fun moments (like my girlfriends mock fighting over who got the first dance with dh) it was definitely very akward at first since it is not a VA tradition. And yeah, the money was not worth the feeling of "this is akward".

wadingmoose

I don't think the dollar dance is really the huge downfall of society that people make it out to be.  Is it common in your area Nugget?

janderson

Much of the older generation seems to be very used to DDs and they just plain like them.  If it's important to certain family elders... I say just do it for them.  What's the harm?  If you have family that wants it and expects it, I doubt many people will be offended by paying for a dance - after all, the people that participate are the ones that think it's a great tradition!  

If you are worried about "awkwardness," that wear MOH comes in.  Make sure to have a very specific talk with your MOH about keeping each turn short - like 20 seconds - and have two standard chi chat lines prepared.  Then everyone wins!

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-replacement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01e3648a-12e3-4173-a166-c47a638e7eb6Post:ada94c25-f087-460a-bf9f-65e46f5251ee">Re: Dollar Dance Replacement</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think the dollar dance is really the huge downfall of society that people make it out to be.  Is it common in your area Nugget?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Sort of - I'd say half of the weddings we've been to had them and half didn't.  So either way I think we're going to get some side-eyes from some guests.