My FI and I are trying to figure out our plans for the wedding and we have been stuck between either doing a big wedding and reception in our hometown, or a small destination wedding at our favorite beach and a second reception in our home town for the friends/family that cannot afford to go to the wedding. We are almost certain we are now going to do the destination wedding with 30 or less people. Then, for the second reception we will share a slideshow of the ceremony, tell our story, have some food, and of course dancing for about 100 people, maybe more.
However, I am confused as to all of the etiquette that must be followed for destination weddings and second receptions. Are bridal showers allowed? If so, can I invite some of the people that will be invited to the second reception, but not the wedding?
Also, should I do all of the traditional wedding stuff at the first reception at the destination such as bouquet toss, first dance, father-daughter dance, etc?
What is the expectations for gifts, etc. for the second reception? I know that it would be rude to put registry information on any invitations, but will people even ask for this information? How often do people bring gifts to second receptions even when the information is not included?