What amount should be given if invited to a wedding and not attending?

slave4dance

Hi Everyone,

FI and I cannot attend his cousin's wedding next month. We live in NY, they live in FL. We still want to send a small gift. Is there a rule as to how much one should give when being invited to a wedding but not actually attending?

lyndausvi

Whatever you can afford.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_amount-should-given-invited-wedding-not-attending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:03805ce8-4d45-4abe-a597-1fae5e59be55Post:421c6e01-ce7c-4f5f-bb71-d4e2cb55807d">What amount should be given if invited to a wedding and not attending?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone, FI and I cannot attend his cousin's wedding next month. We live in NY, they live in FL. We still want to send a small gift. Is there a rule as to how much one should give when being invited to a wedding but not actually attending?
Posted by slave4dance[/QUOTE]

<div>Nope, just like there is no rule for how much to give when you do attend.  Give what you can afford.</div>

lisarose7

What the PPs said.  We received anywhere from $0-$200 from our no-shows, depending on 1) what they felt like sending and 2) what they felt they could afford.

RebeccaB88

You don't have to send anything, but if you want to, send what you can afford. 

iamjoesgurl

I don't think that anyone who didn't attend our wedding gave us a gift at all.  But the way I think in these situations, since I didn't have to spend any money to travel/get to the wedding, I can afford more so I tend to give more than when I actually attend a wedding.  As the others said, give what you can afford.  I'm sure they'll appreciate even a card.

bmoruzzi

I usually give half of what I'd normally give if I were attending.

GeauxTigers17

I give what I can afford, with a lot of consideration to my relationship with the couple. I'm going to give my best friend a larger gift than I give the 3rd cousin who invited me for who knows what reason. It doesn't really vary based on whether I attend or not, but I'll say I've never been invited to a destination wedding. I can understand why a guest wouldn't give a large gift in that situation!

tenofcups4me

I typically give the same amount. To me, the gift is for them getting married, not a gift for me attending the wedding so I don't find the distinction relevant.

bridezillatobe2009

I always send at least a card, and usually a gift card to where they are registered. At the moment with being a student and planning my own wedding I would be inclined to give less than $100. Probably more around $50.