Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank You's for Engagement Party

My parents threw us an engagement party this weekend and some people brought or sent gifts. I didn't even know it was a gift-giving occasion!

My question: of course we're going to send thank you notes. However - (a) do we send thank yous to everyone who attended or just those who brought gifts? and (b) how do we thank someone for money? I plan to write the notes by hand (since there aren't too many of them). I originally intended to write "Dear so-and-so, thank you so much for attending our engagement party. It meant so much for you to be there. FI and I wanted to thank you for your lovely gift of _______" and then add something about the gift (like we already made a recipe from the cookbook you gave us, etc).

So how do I thank someone for money?
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Re: Thank You's for Engagement Party

  • Dear Aunt Jane,

    Thank you so much for being at our engagement party and celebrating with us!  It was great to see you and get to hear all about your trip to Belize.  Thank you also for your generous (or thoughtful) gift.  We're hoping to honeymoon in Europe (or whatever you're going to do with the money) and this will help us with our plans. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-yous-for-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:03d8a22b-fe22-43c2-9823-5d6046d1239bPost:9fea0fd4-3881-47c5-8331-aad64cfda20d">Thank You's for Engagement Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]My parents threw us an engagement party this weekend and some people brought or sent gifts. I didn't even know it was a gift-giving occasion! My question: of course we're going to send thank you notes. However - (a) do we send thank yous to everyone who attended or just those who brought gifts? and (b) how do we thank someone for money? <strong>I plan to write the notes by hand (since there aren't too many of them</strong>). I originally intended to write "Dear so-and-so, thank you so much for attending our engagement party. It meant so much for you to be there. FI and I wanted to thank you for your lovely gift of _______" and then add something about the gift (like we already made a recipe from the cookbook you gave us, etc). So how do I thank someone for money?
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    to the bold - you should ALWAYS hand write all thank yous, even after the wedding when you have a hundred to write.

    Your TY format looks good, though the final sentance should be more like "we can't wait to make some recipes from the cookbook you got us" since you shouldn't use any gifts until after the wedding.  If it's a cash gift just cut off "of _____" so you're just saying "thank you for the (<u>insert adjective)</u> gift." Then tell them how you'll use it like PP said: saving for a house, buying a new dining room set, whatever.
  • Yikes. I didn't know about not using gifts until after the wedding... so do we cash the check now and just not spend it? Honestly it was $20. We don't have a joint bank account or a honeymoon fund or anything yet. 

    This is kind of confusing. I hadn't thought this part out very well apparently!
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  • As Kate said, you should always hand write thank you notes, even for showers and the actual wedding.  They don't actually take that long.  if you do a handful every night you'll have them knocked out in a week or so.  Even if you use a picture thank you with a photo from your wedding, you should hand write a personal note on it.

    The reason you don't use the gift until the wedding is because if for whatever reason the wedding doesn't happen, etiquette requires you to return the gift.  So in the case of a check or cash, cash it (so they can balance their check book) and set the funds aside, or at least keep track of who gave how much so if you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of having to return gifts to people, you know exactly what you have to return to whom.  
  • Okay, that makes more sense :) Thanks everyone!
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