involvement?

Alisha9544

So we are getting married this October.  We only have had about 6-7months to plan as my Fiance proposed in March.  My Fiance has been amazing helping me with everything.  We haven't really had any help from anyone & I'd hate to be rude & ask for help.  However, I'm wondering if in not asking I am being rude.  My Fiance's step mom had offered to make mints for the wedding & we said yes that would be great.  Well Saturday we were out shopping for wedding odds & ends.  He was on the phone with his dad & I had him ask about how big the mints were so I could find dishes for them.  Needless to say the guys passed off the phones to us.  When I asked she said "Yeah I was going to ask if you still wanted me to do those, I don't want to impose on your wedding"  So my question... am I being rude by not having people help me with stuff?  Or was this just a weird response from them?

Meegles4

I wouldn't flat out ask people for help, but if they offer, then you can certainly follow up. In this particular example, you could've responded "of course we'd love to still include the mints. I think it's a great idea!"

Likely, the step-mom truly doesn't want to "force" her ideas on you or be pushy, so she's following your lead.

Summer2011Bride

Generally you wouldn't want to ask someone to do something if they hadn't offered. However since she already offered to do the mints, I think follow-up questions to that is fine.

As far as asking her for other help, it sounds like she would love to be more included. My MIL said multiple times, "I'd love to help, so let me know what I can do." Since she made it clear she WANTED to be involved, but I still felt odd just outward asking her to do something for me, I would bring things up around her that she might like helping with (she loves doing DIY stuff). So I would say things like, "Yeah right now I'm looking for some cute ways to do table numbers" and then if she had an idea and wanted to help, she would bring it up at that time. if not, no harm done.

Alisha9544

Yes when she said that I responded with "no not thats an imposition at all, we'd love for you to still do the mints if you'd like." I just wasn't sure after that if maybe people are thinking I'm excluding them instead of including them.  I'm not one to ask for help, but if it's offered I consider it.  Thank you ladies!

Maggie0829

I think it is weird that after she offered and you told her that you would like for her to make the mints, she then took that as she wasn't sure if you wanted her to.  It is odd that she took your yes as a maybe.

I rarely ask for help but when help is offered, depending upon what it is for, I will be happy to use the extra hands.  I think that since she has offered to help you are well within your right to accept that offer.