Children to wedding

gailnelpaso

how do i respond to an RSVP when I  addressed the invitation to MR & MRS and they want to bring children?  The wedding is our house.

xyrius

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0448e068-825e-49f3-bbed-4a750271a4bfPost:700b359e-1c11-4fe4-a1ac-c900f5bac125">Children to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]how do i respond to an RSVP when I  addressed the invitation to MR & MRS and they want to bring children?  The wedding is our house.
Posted by gailnelpaso[/QUOTE]

do you mean, the wedding is at your house?

just say - i'm sorry we would love to invite junior, but space is very limited

opalsky007

Call and explain that it was a misunderstanding, and that you hope they'll still be able to make it. It's their faux pas, not yours, so don't be embarrassed

gailnelpaso

Yes, the wedding is at our house - and as it is there are over 125 adult guests coming.  This particual family has 7 children. 

hlq2011

Ditto PPs.  Tell them that space is limited and you're sorry but the children weren't invited.

AbbeyS2011

Did you decide no kids invited at all, or just some are and some are not?  Just curious. 

Do not be surprised if they say no, we are not coming.  I would run in the other direction if someone asked me to watch their 7 children LOL. 

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0448e068-825e-49f3-bbed-4a750271a4bfPost:85ff934a-d761-48e2-b1d5-c536fade62ea">Re: Children to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Just curious, do you have a set rule for kids like immediate family only or first cousins only?  If you picked who could bring kids arbitrarily, I could see them getting cranky about it.  If you have a firm no kids rule and they want to bring the better part of a baseball team's worth of kids, you're within your rights to tell them you can't accomodate children and hope mom and dad can still come.
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]

Even if she picked and chose, she's still within her rights to tell them they can't accommodate children.  IMO, kids are like adults.  You don't have to invite every coworker or 2nd cousin you have because you're closer to some than others.  Kids should be the same.  Will it piss people off?  Well, probably, but you'll never make every single person happy.

J&K10910

I agree that it's easier to explain and it's less likely to upset people if you have a clear cut off or no kids at all, but she also doesn't owe anyone an explanation.  Just a simple "I'm sorry for the confusion, the invitation was for you and your husband only and we can't accommodate your children."

StacyJenniges

I would mention something, we are only inviting kids of our cousins, and those who are in the wedding.  I've been to lots of weddings where that was the case, it's your choice on who comes to your wedding or not. 

StacyJenniges

Just a clairfication, it's your choise on who you invite or not. 

gailnelpaso

I (bride) do not have any children, however, groom has adult children with two kids.  Therefore, if we had said NO kids then the grandkids couldn't come.  I put on invitations to family if i wanted those kids to come.  I don't want the adult Aunt & Uncle's children's children - and if one family did it they all would and that is three baseball teams!!!!!!!!!!!!  FYI - Groom wanted no kids allowed but I couldn't let the grandkids not be there.  I hate this - they shouldn't have even asked - I did the invitation the way they said MR. & MRS   Not MR. & MRS and Family.

StacyJenniges

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0448e068-825e-49f3-bbed-4a750271a4bfPost:fafb55d8-01ea-40ce-9e89-cdce0936523d">Re: Children to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I (bride) do not have any children, however, groom has adult children with two kids.  Therefore, if we had said NO kids then the grandkids couldn't come.  I put on invitations to family if i wanted those kids to come.  I don't want the adult Aunt & Uncle's children's children - and if one family did it they all would and that is three baseball teams!!!!!!!!!!!!  FYI - Groom wanted no kids allowed but I couldn't let the grandkids not be there.  I hate this - they shouldn't have even asked - I did the invitation the way they said MR. & MRS   Not MR. & MRS and Family.
Posted by gailnelpaso[/QUOTE]


You are absolutly right. 

kmmssg

I loved those RSVP's when our daughters got married.  Try this:

Hi Susan, this is Gail.  We just received your RSVP and we are thrilled that you and Bob can attend.  I apologize for any confusion, but we can't accomodate the children, the invitation is for you and Bob."

If they balk, and say they won't come without the kids, you sweetly reply, "I'm sorry you won't be there, but we would love to have dinner very soon and share the wedding pictures with you.  Bye....."

Take the bull by the horns, be polite, and know you are not the one going the wrong way on etiquette road here.

trix1223

Ditto kmm

"Hi Homer, we received your RSVP to the wedding, and I'm sorry that there seems to be a misunderstanding.   The invitation was just for you and Marge.  What's that?  You won't come without Bart, Maggie, and Lisa?  I'm sorry to hear that.  We'll certainly miss you, and look forward to getting together after we get back from our honeymoon."