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Mom requested I poll the knot....

So my mom is looking for a dress for my wedding.  She hadn't really been having any luck, but today she found something she thinks she likes.  It comes in brown and aubergine.  She doesn't think the brown goes with the jewelry she really wanted to wear, but is nervous because aubergine is the same color as my bridesmaids dresses.  I told her I didn't think it mattered...no one would mistake her for a bridesmaid...but her friends are telling her it can't be done.

Opinions?
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Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....

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    It's common in my crowd for mothers to wear a color that matches (or at least is in the same family) as the BMs. If the aubergine looks good and she's happy with it, I can't see any reason not to get it.
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    The purple one.

    In other news, I cannot believe she's about to shell out $700 for that dress.
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    It doesn't matter whether or not she matches the bridesmaids, not a problem either way. She should just wear something that she loves.
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    Something just dawned on me. Sure she looks fabulous IN the dress, but it doesnt sound like she is going to be comfortable throughout the day. I see your mom's point of view now. If she wears it, will she be comfortable at the wedding & able to enjoy herself OR will she have a complex about matching the bridesmaids the entire day & feel embarrassed/awkward in anyway? If so, that's something to also take into account. 

    in lighter news....have an uber Friday & weekend. ;-) 

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-requested-poll-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:05530953-35fe-48a1-af06-37e2afbc9888Post:94638015-c74b-499a-b742-747b62579811">Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....</a>:
    [QUOTE] In other news, I cannot believe she's about to shell out $700 for that dress.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was thinking.
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    Tell her to keep looking.  That is not a $700 dress.
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    edited January 2010
    Good thing I didnt ask you guys about budget, only about color....but thanks. 
    226 Invitedimage 153 Are Ready to Partyimage 68 Are Washing Their Hairimage 5 Better Not Make Me Hunt Them Downimage RSVP Date: June 15
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    As someone already said -- if she'll be comfortable wearing a dress that is similar in color to the BMs' dresses and won't get a complex about it, she should wear the aubergine dress. No one will freak out.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-requested-poll-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:05530953-35fe-48a1-af06-37e2afbc9888Post:2f92952a-1ce2-41bd-befd-0470be2e7691">Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good thing I didnt ask you guys about budget, only about color....but thanks. 
    Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

    BURN!
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    Hahah, I always thought that the MOB and MOG wore the wedding colors! 

    She should wear what she wants to wear, what she feels comfortable in.  I wouldn't think twice if she matched the bm's.

    My bm's are wearing black, so we can be sure that someone is going to match them!
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    I'd tell her not to take into account anyone's opinions but yours and hers! I think she should pick something she feels great in, regardless of what colors the bridesmaids are in. Take into account that maybe she's already uncomfortable because others did say something about the color, but if she still feels great in it, go for it. 
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    i think it's fine if she wears the one that is imilar to your maids. i actually think it's kinda cute lol cause then she sorta matches.
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    roselyn81roselyn81 member
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    edited January 2010
    Don't let your mom match the bridesmaids!!!  I've seen this done, and whether it was intentional or inadvertently....  Either way, it looked horrendous!! Like she was either trying to match and failed or didn't get the memo that the bridesmaids were wearing that color.

    Tell her to go with the brown and buy a new necklace that will make her just as happy and excited!  Another excuse to buy new jewelry!! Wink
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    I agree w/ bbyckes  that dress is ugly- let it sell out!
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    This is one of those posts that kept me laughing as I scrolled down. I had no idea what that color was either! Hilarious. That being said, I don't see any issue with mom wearing the same color as the bridesmaids. My mom has asked if she could wear black, and my bridesmaids will be wearing black as well. I want her to feel comfortable. Go for it! It's not like it's the same dress. 
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    Brown is so bleh. Let her match the BM. As long as it's a different style folks will get the message that she's the Mom.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-requested-poll-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:05530953-35fe-48a1-af06-37e2afbc9888Post:7e49ab6f-f0e4-4983-bb57-1ca35459df6f">Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hahah, I always thought that the MOB and MOG wore the wedding colors!  She should wear what she wants to wear, what she feels comfortable in.  I wouldn't think twice if she matched the bm's. My bm's are wearing black, so we can be sure that someone is going to match them!
    Posted by slightlyslapdash[/QUOTE]
    Traditionally, they don't match the bridal party, but they wear a corresponding color (to quote Stacy and Clinton, "they don't have to match, they just have to go"). But that's a tradition that I think it's okay to go against if she loves the dress.
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    My bridesmaids are wearing plum so my mom decided to go with a lilac colored dress to stay in the same color family.  I think if your mom is stressed out maybe she should hold off on this dress keep looking for one that fits all of her criteria (color and jewelry).  Here is the dress my mom got, by the way:

    http://www.jasminebridal.com/J_3_1_1_1.aspx?sqno=JPN2008092511294&j_style_no=STYL20080821008&j_line_no=LINE20080821020&j_line_season=F&forb=f

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    I'd go with whatever color she feels best in!!  The only dress color I'd have a problem within someone wearing would be white (my FMIL from hell is already talking about wearing a cream dress to my wedding.......).

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    She should get whatever dress she feels best in. Everyone else is being silly. If she REALLY feels weird being the same color, maybe she can get a jacket or a sash or something in another color to set her apart so no one gets confused.
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    I banned both of our moms from wearing a neutral.

    My parent's wedding colors were pink and grey, her mom wore the same pink as the BMs, and my dad's mom wore blue.  It worked just fine!
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    Personally, i think that dress is ugly, and overpriced. It has little rose things that look like nipples, which freaks me out.

    As far as color, i think if thats what she wants to wear, it will be fine. But i really think she should keep looking.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-requested-poll-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:05530953-35fe-48a1-af06-37e2afbc9888Post:75bfe987-d196-4c3a-b926-e26c20845947">Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I banned both of our moms from wearing a neutral.
    Posted by cukimerrydoll[/QUOTE]

    :cough: bridezilla :cough: 
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    Personally, I dont want the moms wearing the same color as the bridesmaids but I do want them to coordinate with the bridesmaids dresses. However, if you dont mind then I dont think its a big deal. I dont think your guests will pull out the wedding ettiquette book and dock points for it. Most of the people wont even know if she is or isnt suppose to match traditionally. On another note, I agree with most of the other posts. For 700.00, that dress looks cheap and is not very pretty. I would suggest she keep looking unless she is absolutley in love with it. For 700 bucks she could find a fabulous MOB dress.
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    Thanks for all the replies/votes (LOVE this new poll feature!)...

    If anyone is curious, she told me she is leaning towards getting it in aubergine/purple/whatever.  :)  I haven't seen it on her in person but she is very picky and felt good in this one, so to those who don't like the dress, my opinion is ---eh, its a MOB dress.  I usually hate MOB dresses and if she feels good than I am happy.  She has always been overweight and has been working really hard to look good for the wedding...she felt this was flattering on her so way to go, Mom.  (And to whomever said something about the flowers, when she sent me the pic the first thing I said was, do those flowers look better in real life???  She said they do!) 

    Side note: I REALLLYYYYY dont get why anyone would care how much she is spending, btw, but that's a whole other post.

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    I think she should wear what makes her happy my mom just bought a black dress to wear to ours and my BM are in black
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    What about clashing with the tuxes....if those are black the brown may not be the greatest. I think coordinating with BM color is fine. The main thing is that she's comfortable for the day. My mom has already bought 3 dresses, so she's keeping her options open, lol!
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    I think the Aubergine would look better in the photos that include the bridesmaids as well as your mom.  I was at a wedding expo today and every single MOB outfit was brown.  Boring!!
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    I've seen the mom match the bridesmaids before and I didn't think it looks bad at all. As long as it's not the same dress, it will be fine.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-requested-poll-knot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:05530953-35fe-48a1-af06-37e2afbc9888Post:5da89a26-42dd-4110-b4d7-b60c373c8abf">Re: Mom requested I poll the knot....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Side note: I REALLLYYYYY dont get why anyone would care how much she is spending, btw, but that's a whole other post.
    Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

    Probably because it looks like a prom dress and it seems like she is getting ripped off...honestly, with some digging she could most likely find something very similar and not pay out the a$$ for it. 
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