Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal shower invitation etiquette

I've posted about this before, but I had a few more questions. My MOH is throwing my bridal shower, which is next week, and out of 25 guests, only two have responded to the RSVPS. My MOH went ahead and contacted people (the invites have been out for over a month) and got some really strange and some rude responses from guests. Did she violate any etiquette rules on the invites (I looked at them before she sent them and didn't see anything wrong):

She didn't put registry info. She figured that guests could find the info out the same way they would if they were buying a wedding gift (either by asking someone or checking website). Several of the guests she called said they didn't RSVP because they didn't know where I was registered (?!).

She asked all guests to RSVP to either accept or decline, rather than doing 'regrets only." Several guests said they were coming, so they didn't know they has to RSVP and several guests thought they only had to RSVP if they were coming.

Finally, not so much of an etiquette question, but are there a lot of people who don't know what bridal showers are? Several people asked her when she called what exacty a shower was and then said they'd think about it. I thought everyone knew what these were? Some people thought they were being invited to the bachlorette instead.

Anyways, I wanted to know if she did something horribly wrong with the invites or if the guests are just rude. I looked over the invites for her and said they were fine, and now I feel bad, like I led her wrong.

Re: Bridal shower invitation etiquette

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    This seems so strange!  I don't really have any advice b/c it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and I don't know why people seem so confused by everything. I think putting the registry info in the invitations would have been helpful. but that still doesn't explain why your guests seem stymied or are being rude in their responses to your MOH. Weird. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Hmm wedding and baby showers are very common in my circle, so it's odd to me to not know what one is, but I suppose if you've never attended one before? I don't think she did anything wrong. FWIW there's nothing wrong with registry info in a shower invitation, just for future reference in case you ever throw a shower for someone. It's just rude to include in a wedding invitation.

    I would just have fun with whoever shows up and chalk it up to a strange occurrence.

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     I thought most people knew how to RSVP?  I think I learned that in elementary school?   Showers I learned pretty early also, but I came from a large family and as kids were invited to showers.  I understand that is not always the case. However, I would have thought someone would get to adult age and at least know what they are.  


    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong-unfortunately some really rude and clueless people were invited to your shower.  I'm sorry.

    PS-Showers and registries don't go hand-in-hand.  You are not required to register as a condition of having a shower or vice versa.
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    That seems bizarre.  I'd post this on your local board and see if this is more prevalent where you live.  I think in general that people don't RSVP these days because they're lazy.  But, honestly it doesn't give anyone the right to be rude in responding to you MOH.
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    Well, the only thing that isn't bizarre to me is the "I'm coming, that's why I didn't RSVP" thing. It's what a LOT of people do in my circle, and I'm terriried I'm going to be calling 300 people for my wedding RSVPs, thus wasting a lot of stamps.
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