Open Bar Tip Jars?

JHS16

Our reception venue is giving us the option to provide tip jars for our bartenders for a discount on our open bar.  Uncouth or acceptable?  

Blueyed228

I only say yes because I have been bartending 12 years and when we have events with open bar and set gratuity, its not as much as you think(and its taxed through the roof).  I dont see any harm in them having a tip jar.  As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt.  

Plus, most people like to tip, even when its open bar.  I would be uncomfortable walking up to a bar, getting a free drink, and walking away without leaving something.  Its like paying for your meal with a gift card.  Would you not leave the waitress something just because the meal was free?

Its not like having the tip jar makes it mandatory to tip.  It just leaves the option.

Mrs.B6302007

I vote note.  Tipping should be the responsibility of whomever is hosting the bar, not the guests.

baystateapple

No.  It's the responsibility of the person who is paying for the bar to tip the bartender.  If the guest decides to slide a tip across the counter for excellent service, that's their choice, but to put a tip jar out is poor etiquette.

aMrsin09

I voted "don't care".  I'd much rather have an open bar with a tip jar that I have a choice to use or not over a cash bar where I have no choice but to pay.

ETA: On the list of things I would give a side eye to at a wedding, a tip jar doesn't even register.

[Deleted User]

I don't want to see it at a wedding.  

I tip bartenders at a weddings in their hands, no need for a jar.  

My venue does not allow tip jars, if it did I would ask for them not to be out for my reception.  

dsouldiva

It's not that the bartenders shouldn't be tipped but the tip should really be down to the host, not the guests to pay.  If the host is paying then the Bartenders are providing the service to them and not the non-paying guests.

I'd think it was a bit tacky on the part of the venue if I saw this, It wouldn't reflect on the B&G.

SaraAndrew2010

Tacky.  Putting out tip jars so that you can get a discount on the bar is basically the same as having your guests pay for a portion of their drinks.  The hots should be responsible forall tipping.

luckyme502

Every wedding I've been to with an open bar has had tip jars.  In some venues the tip jar has to be out.  I never even think about it. 

fangsiting

I would be embarrassed if my guests tried to tip the bartender.  I would take that to mean they think I'm cheap and don't tip.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:ef9b143e-41d0-4565-8516-e24c4bc7eeec">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt. :) 
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Neither is free, but both should be paid by the host.

crfische

Blue eyed for your weak ass analogy to make sense, it would have to be something like:

"Would your parents offer to take you out and treat you for dinner and drinks and then not leave a tip when they received the bill?"

No, they wouldn't. Of course they'd leave a tip. And they wouldn't expect me to, either, if they had said they'd pick up the tab.

Which is why it is the hosts responsibility.

AlexiaANDRobert

I agree that it is the host's responsibility but the tip jars don't bother me as the host or the guest.

I THINK they were out for our wedding.  <- See how much I paid attention? I can't even remember...

tiffersnc

My FI and I are hosting the open bar, so we'll be taking care of bartender tips. I'd hate for my guests to feel even slightly obligated to open their wallets at our wedding.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:ef9b143e-41d0-4565-8516-e24c4bc7eeec">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I only say yes because I have been bartending 12 years and when we have events with open bar and set gratuity, its not as much as you think(and its taxed through the roof).  I dont see any harm in them having a tip jar.  As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt. :)  Plus, most people like to tip, even when its open bar.  I would be uncomfortable walking up to a bar, getting a free drink, and walking away without leaving something.  Its like paying for your meal with a gift card.  Would you not leave the waitress something just because the meal was free?<strong> Its not like having the tip jar makes it mandatory to tip.  It just leaves the option.</strong>
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Wrong, it makes people feel pressured to take out their wallets and tip.

You can still tip even without a tip jar.  It's not like they wouldn't accept it.

evabee

This is really helpful because my bartender is tending for charity so all tips he receives (and the $1000 I'm paying him for the night!) will be benefitting a local veterans group. He wants a tip jar out, my mom does not, but I think I will let him because I realize that in the long run, who the hell remembers? and what's the point of tending for charity if you can't ask for tips!?

jajph1974

We had a full open bar and there was a tip jar.

I had every intention of tipping the bartender myself as it was part of my budget, but a few of my friends (guests @ wedding) said that I shouldn't tip the bartender because there would be a tip jar. It was pretty much expected to be there.

I was a bit confused because of the opinions I read previously on P&E, so I asked around and everyone told me they always see tip jars at weddings.

Maybe it's a regional thing?

MOBinFL2008

I always tip when I get a drink at an open bar knowing full well that the host is also tipping the bartender.  I do find it tacky when a tip jar is out because to me it just looks greedy on the part of the bartender.

krmabojo

I say sure. People are not "required" to tip since you are paying for it. The tipping will save you money.

My family had a wedding recently and there was a tip jar on the bar, no one complained. If they wanted to tip, they tipped. If not, oh well.

I see nothing wrong with it.

SwedishChick2011

It's really the responsibility of the hosts, not the guests, to tip the bartenders.  I've attended weddings where the open bar had a tip jar, and although I wasn't offended by it, I felt like I needed to tip at least once since it was there. 

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:48e18d0d-f75a-4ea5-9b06-545d721fcd32">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I always tip when I get a drink at an open bar knowing full well that the host is also tipping the bartender.  I do find it tacky when a tip jar is out because to me it just looks greedy on the part of the bartender.
Posted by MOBinFL2008[/QUOTE]
I agree.  Guests can always tip the bartender without a tip jar being there, and it does make the bartenders look greedy when it's sitting there. 

akmackay

I don't see a problem with it. I would assume there would be a tip jar out... people will tip regardless so what's the difference? Some might find it tacky, but if that's what they remember about your wedding that's their fault. I never would have thought twice if I saw a tip jar at my wedding

Catwoman708

Whoever is paying for the drink is the one that tips.  So yes, I think it looks tacky to have a tip jar out in plain sight, as if guests are expected to help pay the bartenders.

BUT, as a guest, I don't mind chipping in on the tip, because I may not know what the gratuity arrangements are, and I like to tip a little more than the typical standard gratuity.

Many people still like tipping the bartenders well for free drinks, to ensure they get a generously poured drink, or because they believe in keeping the bartenders happy, lol. The people that want to tip, and typically tip well, WILL still tip whether there is a tip jar out or not. 

If you are having a very formal wedding, I'd suggest either be a gracious host and pay the extra, or ask that they place the tip jars where they are not in full view.  Otherwise, you ARE essentially asking guests to help subsidise your wedding.

(But honestly, as a guest, I "don't care as long as there is an open bar".  But as a hostess, I would be embarrassed to have tip jars out.)

ohwhynot

I don't want people reaching for their wallets at our wedding.  Some may anyway, but I definitely don't want people feeling as if they should - and a tip jar suggests that they should.  So - no tip jar, the bartender has a standard 15% in his contract and we're setting aside a bit extra for the end of the night in addition to that. 

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:7fcd31ac-cf52-4e21-a233-d0e44f804138">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I say sure. People are not "required" to tip since you are paying for it. The tipping will save you money. <strong>My family had a wedding recently and there was a tip jar on the bar, no one complained. </strong>If they wanted to tip, they tipped. If not, oh well. I see nothing wrong with it.
Posted by krmabojo[/QUOTE]


The problem is it's in your face and you feel obligated to give money.  Can you imagine if the waitress plopped a tip jar on your table at a wedding?  Why is it okay  for the bartender to solicit tips and not the other wait staff?

fwiw - it's a fireable offense if we had out a tip jar and /or solicited tips.  It's just rude and tacky.  That said, I make really good money, so I guess it's not really needed.

MyNameIsNot

Nope, it's rude and tacky.  Part of hosting the event involves covering the tip.

golden1215

I feel obligated to tip even more when it's an open bar, since I'm not paying for the drink.  I used to work events (as a bartender) in college and we always had tip jars if it was anything BUT a wedding- like a work party, non-profit fundraiser etc.  Not sure why it was this way, but I liked it. 

I don't know if I'd hold it against the B&G, but I'd think less of the place/bartender if there was a tip jar.  I think the B&G should pay the standard gratuity and at the end of the night, if the bartending staff was awsome (i.e. NO watered down boring drinks, smug service etc) then they can throw them and extra $50 of $100 or whatever depending on the size, but guests should only give tips over the counter if they want to. 

I think people forget- and I say this having worked for tips for years- that they are just that, TIPS.  As in, here's your wage plus a TIP if you go above and beyond.  I realize people are taxed on tips (whether or not they earn them) but I think servers/bartenders that feel entitled to 20%+ regardless of how they perform and out of line. 

CCBelle

I think it's tacky.  We had an open bar at my wedding, and I triple-checked with my venue that there would NOT be a jar or any other sort of request for tips.  Jars show an expectation for at tip, and we were already covering that for our guests - for the bar and the servers. 

And BlueEyed, I used to bartend as well.  I know that if someone wants to tip for service, they are going to do whether or not there is a jar sitting there.  An experienced bartender knows how to quickly pocket cash w/out anyone else being the wiser.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm telling my venue that I will generously tip the bartenders MYSELF at the end of the night if they do NOT put out tip jars. I might try to put it in my contract, even. I'm paying, I'm tipping. I do not want my guests to open their wallets. Yeah, some might tip anyway. I got a couple tips when I worked in fast food without a tip jar. But I do not want it encouraged.

charlsie26

Our venue put out a tip jar after a 20% grat/service fee.  At the end of the night we tipped the DJ $100 but didn't give the bartender any because he set out the tip jar.  So he got his extra tips.  If he didn't put that out we would have tipped him too.  I believe we paid them enough though the service fee/grat.  And was planning on tipping him more.  I agree that the host should provide the tip. 

tenofcups4me

My dad didn't have a lot of questions or demands the first time I got married, but he was adamant there be no tip jar. Apparently, he'd seen it at a wedding or two and thought it was horrible. And this from a man who typically tips extremely generously even as a guest. But he felt -- and I agree -- that there's a difference between having a tip jar out, which basically seems to demand guests leave tips, and a guest choosing on their own to leave an extra tip if they want.

I've seen tip jars once or twice now, but at least in my area, only at weddings that seem to be on the cheap and kind of rough side to begin with.