I gave some girl on Instagram advice..

allychase

She didn't take it very well. I was searching through the hash tag DIY bride to get some inspiration for projects and came across a picture of some parachute looking thing that had the words Flyaway with us.. Honeymoon Fund. And I couldn't resist.. I think it's from being on here too long.. I asked what it was. She responded it was for their dollar dance. Again, I couldn't help myself.. It may have been totally uncalled for cause I don't know the girl but I just said something to the effect of oh are you sure your guests won't be offended by you asking them for money? And she went on some tirade about how she's not concerned about what her guests like and if people are really concerned then they wouldn't ask for gifts so the dollar dance is no different, plus guests prefer to give money anyway. And I was just like ...??? Huh?? I told her she should come here to try and get a different view point. But then she screen shotted by comment and all of her friends called me stupid and that I think Mexicans are dirty because in NM they do dollar dances. That's the last time I give advice to a stranger lol. I'm not really surprised she flipped out though, no one really takes unwarranted advice very well. Just my random experience of the night.

Ella and Pedro

Blah.

Try to chalk it up to cultural differences, and I guess it's an understatement to say you both had a bit of culture shock.

(for the record, I do agree with your POV)

Simply Fated

They pulled the racism card? Siriusly?

linnyv27

Okay this is going to sound like such a creeper thing to do but I searched for the photo on Instagram and found it...and in her screencap of your comment she hash tagged "properetiquette aintnobodygottimeforthat"?? Seriously? Ugh. I don't even want to get into that. You sounded as polite as possible but since she never asked/looked for such advice, I think you should just let it go. At least you tried.

TKzilla

I have to hold myself back from doing this to all the terrible ideas on Pinterest. Ain't nobody got time for bridesmaids' duties!

Angelface225

She started a sentence with the word ain't, she's beyond hope. I honestly hope she doesn't come over here, we've had enough BSC lately as it is!

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-gave-some-girl-on-instagram-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:05d2669f-e03e-4263-9548-b7d667473d07Post:4700b2ad-7b16-45d8-96df-269f77166404">Re: I gave some girl on Instagram advice..</a>:
[QUOTE]She started a sentence with the word ain't, she's beyond hope. I honestly hope she doesn't come over here, we've had enough BSC lately as it is!
Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

<div>Hey hey hey whoa, ain't nobody gonna judge you for saying "ain't" if you're in the South! LMAO also, it's a quote from a viral video. Google "Sweet Brown" for a laugh.</div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-gave-some-girl-on-instagram-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:05d2669f-e03e-4263-9548-b7d667473d07Post:31563d26-beac-4c8a-acf6-23603629e098">Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..</a>:
[QUOTE]"properetiquette aintnobodygottimeforthat"?? Seriously? Ugh. I don't even want to get into that. 
Posted by linnyv27[/QUOTE]

<div>Ugh!  People like that, who don't care about etiquette at their WEDDING, don't care about having manners in their regular lives either. And that is why the rest of us have to hear their cell phone conversations in public, have our chairs kicked in movie theaters, etc. </div>

[Deleted User]

Yes, in our culture, it is rude to as for money. And she probably has no manners. However, in other cultures, money as gifts is the norm (Philippino money dance at weddings, money in red envelopes for Chinese new years, etc.)...  While it doesn't excuse her behavior or rudeness, there are other cultures where it is not seen as taboo.  Just a thought!

libby18bell

Her response to your information sounds pretty awful.  Granted I'm all for family and cultural traditions, but some just baffle.  There's also a sponsor thing in the Mexican wedding tradition.  Sponsors are family members close to the bride and groom such as godparents, or aunts or uncles who help cover specific wedding costs like the wedding bands, the band, the church etc.  That really through me for a loop when I learned of that.  Granted my family is polish and I have no idea yet if we will do the dollar dance, it's a huge deal to my grandma, and I've never been to a wedding in my family where anyone was offended by it, and trust me my family isn't one to hold back if they are offended, ha ha.

STARMOON44

I don't think strangers to whom you give unsolicited advice owe you any courtesy in their response it's crazy rude to be critiquing random strangers who haven't asked your advice!!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-gave-some-girl-on-instagram-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:05d2669f-e03e-4263-9548-b7d667473d07Post:837e5003-2a80-4866-894a-21de961765af">Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think strangers to whom you give unsolicited advice owe you any courtesy in their response it's crazy rude to be critiquing random strangers who haven't asked your advice!!
Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

I have to agree. Cultural sensitivity issues aside, I'd probably react with similar expletives if someone randomly on the internet offered me unsolicited advice. Yes she was rude, but its true, you were rude first.  Imagine if you did that to someone random on the street about a conversation you overheard. They'd probably react the exact same same way.

allychase

In Response to Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..:[QUOTE]I don't think strangers to whom you give unsolicited advice owe you any courtesy in their response it's crazy rude to be critiquing random strangers who haven't asked your advice!! Posted by
STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

But I said I wasn't surprised she acted that way. So why are you so on the offense here? Lol

faile556

Uh, I'm in New Mexico and I've only ever seen one dollar dance and it was terribly tactless ...and thankfully 10 years ago. In the subsequent weddings I've been to not a single one had the dollar dance.

Also, these weddings I've attended in New Mexico have been both Mexican/Hispanic and a range of other ethnicities... so race isn't a good excuse either.

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-gave-some-girl-on-instagram-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:05d2669f-e03e-4263-9548-b7d667473d07Post:31563d26-beac-4c8a-acf6-23603629e098">Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay this is going to sound like such a creeper thing to do but I searched for the photo on Instagram and found it...and in her screencap of your comment she hash tagged "properetiquette aintnobodygottimeforthat"?? Seriously? Ugh. I don't even want to get into that. You sounded as polite as possible but since she never asked/looked for such advice, I think you should just let it go. At least you tried.
Posted by linnyv27[/QUOTE]

Where???

allychase

In Response to Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..:[QUOTE]So, the same poster who came in and lectured us for her first several months here about "unsolicited advice" and "answering the question that was ASKED" is now bragging about contacting some complete random stranger out of the blue to tell them their wedding plans suck? nbsp;Klassy. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Stage that horse has been dead for months, why are you still beating it?

allychase

In Response to Re:I gave some girl on Instagram advice..:[QUOTE]Stage that horse has been dead for months, why are you still beating it? Posted by allychase

I'm sorry, did I miss your mea culpa post where you admitted you were wrong? Because as far as I can tell, the general principle of "when ally agrees with the masses, it's all good but when ally disagrees, we're bullies" still seems to ring true.

Beaton a dead horse would mean the issue was resolved. Choosing to pretend like 2 months of asshattery never happened because half the people you treated like crap don't post here anymore and the other half are afraid of being labeled a mean girl does not a dead horse make.

Besides, I only bring it up when it's relevent, and in this case it is. Running around telling strangers how rude they are with no provocation is pretty poor manners. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Yeah I'm just gonna go ahead and ignore you. You take the Internet way too seriously.

Ro041

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-gave-some-girl-on-instagram-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:05d2669f-e03e-4263-9548-b7d667473d07Post:9bbf08f2-5de7-4d9d-b600-e35ea7bed902">Re: I gave some girl on Instagram advice..</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, I'm in New Mexico and I've only ever seen one dollar dance and it was terribly tactless ...and thankfully 10 years ago. In the subsequent weddings I've been to not a single one had the dollar dance. Also, these weddings I've attended in New Mexico have been both Mexican/Hispanic and a range of other ethnicities... so race isn't a good excuse either.
Posted by faile556[/QUOTE]

<div>I grew up in west Texas and attended a few weddings in NM - all of which had the dollar dance.  One couple wasn't hispanic.  Maybe it's a regional thing, or a thing done in certain circles.  With that being said, the "fly away with us" thing is ridiculous.  </div>