Groomsmen saga continues

emeejeeayen

The groomsmen, for the most part, are still ignoring my FI's requests for budgets. FI is frustrated and ready to just say, "this is the suit; either wear it or don't be a groomsmen." But obviously I'd prefer we not go down this route.

What the best man provided was our ideal response: "I'll pay X amount for a rental, Y amount for a suit that is more seasonal and Z amount for a suit I could wear to many different occasions."

What are FIs acceptable next steps? At what point is it like, ok, I've asked you 20 times for budget and all but 2 of you have ignored me, so here is the outfit take it or leave it?

We don't live in the same state as the groomsmen so in person isn't possible. None of them are phone folks, they just ignore each others calls. Clearly texting/emailing/IMing/FBing have not worked.

Thoughts?

Also none of them are in the least bit aware of wedding protocol. Just throwing that out there. I'd guess their only knowledge of weddings comes from Wedding Crashers or The Hangover.

Thanks!

bunni727

I would go with the lowest of the budgets you were given, or tell them any black suit and provide them with a tie. 

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmen-saga-continues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:062857c5-9e44-4d24-847b-4b789cc6fb7dPost:5cb65952-09da-4038-87d0-b470111ab103">Groomsmen saga continues</a>:
[QUOTE]The groomsmen, for the most part, are still ignoring my FI's requests for budgets. FI is frustrated and ready to just say, "this is the suit; either wear it or don't be a groomsmen." But obviously I'd prefer we not go down this route. What the best man provided was our ideal response: "I'll pay X amount for a rental, Y amount for a suit that is more seasonal and Z amount for a suit I could wear to many different occasions." What are FIs acceptable next steps? <strong>At what point is it like, ok, I've asked you 20 times for budget and all but 2 of you have ignored me, so here is the outfit take it or leave it?</strong> We don't live in the same state as the groomsmen so in person isn't possible. None of them are phone folks, they just ignore each others calls. Clearly texting/emailing/IMing/FBing have not worked. Thoughts? Also none of them are in the least bit aware of wedding protocol. Just throwing that out there. I'd guess their only knowledge of weddings comes from Wedding Crashers or The Hangover. Thanks!
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

<div>I'd be at that point now!   Or do like Bunni suggested. Ugh. Sorry y'all are dealing with this!</div>

QueerFemme

At this point, I would probably just decide what you want the guys to wear. And tell them.  I would keep it to the lowest budget that you've received so far, or even a little bit lower.

emeejeeayen

The lowest budget so far was 300 for any suit/rental, 1000 for an awesome one so I'm not sure that really helps us with the other guys. I'll pass all of this advice to FI. It's his decision ultimately. Thanks!

emeejeeayen

1 I think I just accidentally reported you and KNOT GODS I DID NOT MEAN TO 2 what would a reasonable date be for this? I don't care about deciding on a specific suit yet but I want budgets locked down somewhat soon. Is 2 weeks from now unreasonable?

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmen-saga-continues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:062857c5-9e44-4d24-847b-4b789cc6fb7dPost:b1d398fc-0922-47b7-99fe-325259916f3a">Re:Groomsmen saga continues</a>:
[QUOTE]The lowest budget so far was 300 for any suit/rental, 1000 for an awesome one so I'm not sure that really helps us with the other guys. I'll pass all of this advice to FI. It's his decision ultimately. Thanks!
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

Yeah. that is crazy pricey.  I mean, I know nice suits aren't cheap. But your guys can get a decent one at Mens Warahouse or Jos. A. Banks for about $200.00.  They can rent a tux for about $150-175.00.  I would probably try to keep the budget closer to that range.

emeejeeayen

In Response to Re:Groomsmen saga continues:[QUOTE]When is your wedding? Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

August 4th, but FI needs a new suit for summer for legal internships and it would be nice to know if we're able to double up uses.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmen-saga-continues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:062857c5-9e44-4d24-847b-4b789cc6fb7dPost:f78c6e69-5deb-40b0-af5f-fa3836c9e716">Re:Groomsmen saga continues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Groomsmen saga continues: August 4th, but FI needs a new suit for summer for legal internships and it would be nice to know if we're able to double up uses.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

I would buy him a summer suit.  And ease up on this until May.

emeejeeayen

I'm cool with them mismatching, but I don't think that talking about budgets is too soon. I don't think any of them need to buy a suit until July, but what I'm saying is that if the budget is, say, 100 we might want to just do tux rentals vs suits. Also, if they really can afford nothing we would consider paying for them, but I need to move things around in our budgets currently. I realize I did not specify all of that in my OP. With 7 groomsmen, paying for many of their attire would eat significantly into our overall budget. That's all.

mcda04

I agree with PP's.

If they're not giving you a budget, then just say x color of suits with x color of shirts. You can find suits at department stores anywhere from $100 - $1000+ so each GM can buy whatever suit fits best.

I think you should choose a black suit or tuxedo rental just so you know they will all match. When you choose charcoal or grey, the color varies by designer.

My H wore a charcoal suit and the GM wore black suits.

MoonlightSilver

You might consider having FI pick out what he wants them to wear and send it to the groommen, with the clear intention of convincing them to send their budget in reply. I get the feeling that until your FI makes a decision, this guys will just joke around. If he actually sends them a suit / tux he wants them to wear, they'll reply either that they can or that it's too expensive for them. 

MuppetOverlord

Agree with PP.  Sit back and relax a little. Weddings are stressful enough

We are not planning on selecting anything above the $150-$200 range for rentals. If really feeling the need to check something off your list, select on the low end and e-mail, or better yet, text: "Groomsman, here, call X with your measurements and credit card. Cost is $150".  The number will hyperlink on their phone so they can just click it.

nicoleandersonmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmen-saga-continues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:062857c5-9e44-4d24-847b-4b789cc6fb7dPost:f78c6e69-5deb-40b0-af5f-fa3836c9e716">Re:Groomsmen saga continues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Groomsmen saga continues:

August 4th, but FI needs a new suit for summer for legal internships and it would be nice to know if we're able to double up uses.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]



This is a bit early. Your FI can get whatever suit he wants. You can double-up the use of his suit if you want to. You don't need to know the other guys' budgets to do so. FI can get whatever suit he likes. Later you can find a suit you like for the groomsmen at a reasonably price or just tell them the color and style.

Of note, our wedding is in 44 days. FI has not picked out a suit yet and has not discussed with his groomsmen even what color suit to wear. I started to stress about 3 weeks ago, for all of 10min. Then I shrugged my shoulders and thought....Eh, I'm sure they'll all be clothed and each will look great and everyone will have an incredible time. As for my FI, He will be as drop-dead handsome as he ever is...regardless of what he chooses to wear.

So, try not to stress. It will all come together. On the day of, you'll likely notice little other than him. It will work out.

Nherbert05

That price range is way too high. You can rent something for cheaper. If you can afford it pay for their rentals and just have them get fitted. If they are still unresponsive by the date you give them pick new people

Nherbert05

That price range is way too high. You can rent something for cheaper. If you can afford it pay for their rentals and just have them get fitted. If they are still unresponsive by the date you give them pick new people