Grooms sister

WeddingSept17

So my future sister in law is freaking out that she is not a bridesmaid. We are having a very small wedding and my girls have been my best friends for 10 years. She thinks the other roles are petty what am I to do??

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:6974798a-2d0e-4880-b379-632556e99ad3">Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]So my future sister in law is freaking out that she is not a bridesmaid. We are having a very small wedding and my girls have been my best friends for 10 years. She thinks the other roles are petty what am I to do??
Posted by WeddingSept17[/QUOTE]
Tell her that you have already chosen your bridal party but thank her for her interest in standing up for you. <div>
</div><div>ETA- If your wedding isn't 2011, then tell her (and anyone) that you haven't chosen your party yet.</div>

WeddingSept17

We are having an outdoor wedding and it is going to be very informal. She would like to walk down the aisle behind me, stand behind us while we recite our vows and hold my flowers. My FI does not want to cause a riffle. She said that doing a reading would "be stupid" Is there a good way to tell her this is not her wedding?

mrshellem2012

I dont really see anything you should do in this situation. She is not entitled to be a bridesmaid and if she really does not want to help with anything else well than she just wanted to wear a pretty dress. Offer what you have and let the rest be on her, IMO i would not feel too bad about this one! Good luck Bride2B

verymegv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:8f29d826-55dc-466c-a17f-71180adb1ef7">Re: Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont really see anything you should do in this situation.<strong> She is not entitled to be a bridesmaid</strong> and if she really does not want to help with anything else well than she just wanted to wear a pretty dress. Offer what you have and let the rest be on her, IMO i would not feel too bad about this one! Good luck Bride2B :)
Posted by mrshellem2012[/QUOTE]

<div>this. adding a future family member is a nice gesture and does well to start of future relationships well, but it's not a requirement. you've obviously chosen what you want to do, so don't be bullied into putting her in simply because she's whining about it...which is rude. she should have just sucked it up and not said anything.</div>

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:a29c248f-62a0-4816-9a46-e1b27885b9fc">Re: Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having an outdoor wedding and it is going to be very informal. She would like to walk down the aisle behind me, stand behind us while we recite our vows and hold my flowers. My FI does not want to cause a riffle. She said that doing a reading would "be stupid" Is there a good way to tell her this is not her wedding?
Posted by WeddingSept17[/QUOTE]
I've never heard of a bridal party member walking behind the bride or standing behind the couple.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:b17f6950-2d21-40ba-8dcc-20d44b13d313">Re: Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grooms sister : I've never heard of a bridal party member walking behind the bride or standing behind the couple.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

Neither have I

aswiszowaty

I was sorta in the same position, I asked my Future SIL to do other little yet, important things on our big day, and I asked her hen it was just the two of us and made it sorta a special/personal moment. After this she informed me that she asn't expecting to be involved in our wedding. From what you posted she ants to not only be a part of your day yet be somewhat the center of attention. If that is the case, try the special/personal approach and if that fails remembered this " It is yours and your FI day, and it is ultimately what the two of you want" If she can't respect that the maybe you FI should talk to her. Good Luck!

kac12170

She wants to walk in behind you!? So she wants to be the bride? That sounds rather odd that she would even think about that. I wouldn't worry about it. Just say you both want a small wedding party, and you don't want to insult the friends you have known forever by not including one of them.

ggirl2001

How old is FSIL?

kmmssg

If your FI doesn't want to cause a riff, why doesn't he ask her to stand on his side?

CassieeK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:8a217f0b-58a5-46f8-8ea9-79cd56e41a20">Re: Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]If your FI doesn't want to cause a riff, why doesn't he ask her to stand on his side?
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

Marrin713

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06f12b44-cc6a-4ed9-9a2f-cdcaa2f689c0Post:150a11ed-429f-4ffc-98bf-f34a2a8eb274">Re: Grooms sister</a>:
[QUOTE]How old is FSIL?
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

She's 18 and her name is Katelyn ;)

firsttimersluck

blah. I'm kinad going through the same thing. My FSIL has not been warm to me ever (she is besties with the FI's ex, which I don't have a problem with because.. we don't even live in the same state.. but she feels torn and it SHOWS). Suddenly she is upset that she isn't in the wedding party, it's not fair because she never gets to be a part of stuff like this, maybe she just won't come, etc etc. My FI doesn't want her in the WP, so he's the one laying down the law on this one, and i think it's your FI's responsability to as well. Like PP's have said, if he doesn't want to cause a riff, he can have her on his side, but it's not your responsibility to meet HER needs on YOUR day. If she wants to be the last one down the aisle, she can have her own wedding. If she wants to stand behind you two, she can become an offiant? lol. Maybe find a happy medium and let her hold your bouquet? (I doubt the MoH will care). I wish you luck.

noodle_oo

Have your FI talk to her.  She's being really immature and its his sister.  Or, have him talk to his mom and have FMIL talk to her.  If htey want to appease her, have her be a groomswoman.  Otherwise, tell her to grow up.  She doesn't get to tell you what role she wants in the wedding.  Is she normally pretty entitled like that?  The role she described doesn't exist and your MOH will hold your flowers.  She just sounds liek she wants to be the center of attention.  Someone needs to remind her she will get that when SHE gets married.