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Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"

SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My cousin just got engaged to a guy she's known for two weeks. I'm not trying to judge her relationships too harsly, but this is her sixth engagement this year (no exaggeration-I just counted on facebook, six engagements since January, all different men). What she does is meet a guy, they get "engaged," and then they break up within weeks.

I'm trying to keep my wedding small, so I wasn't planning on inviting her with a plus one. But now that she's "engaged," I have to invite him, right? Chances are she'll break up with him before my wedding, but I'm sending invites out next month, so if I invite him, I'd use his name. Should I just say "and guest," so she can bring whoever is next? Or write his name on there and if they break up, she'll just come alone? Not sure what to do here.
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Re: Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"

  • Carson386Carson386 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-not-to-invite-my-cousins-fiance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:07262ba8-998c-4850-a513-41daf23feb5ePost:7fc77bc1-07ae-4da7-9f1e-2ac64a9a837f">Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin just got engaged to a guy she's known for two weeks. I'm not trying to judge her relationships too harsly, but this is her sixth engagement this year (no exaggeration-I just counted on facebook, six engagements since January, all different men). What she does is meet a guy, they get "engaged," and then they break up within weeks. I'm trying to keep my wedding small, so I wasn't planning on inviting her with a plus one. But now that she's "engaged," I have to invite him, right? Chances are she'll break up with him before my wedding, but I'm sending invites out next month, so if I invite him, I'd use his name. Should I just say "and guest," so she can bring whoever is next? Or write his name on there and if they break up, she'll just come alone? Not sure what to do here.
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]
     
    Invite anyone WITH their significant other. It's not you place to judge the seriousness of their relationship. If they are engaged, invite them together.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    Give the serial engager's FI a invite.     Put his name on the invite.  If they break up I would not extend a plus one, unless she gets engaged again.  Which considering her track record could happen I guess.


    **sorry she is like that, but I think sometimes it's better to be the bigger person and just roll with the punches.






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  • HandBananaHandBanana member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    No matter what you need to invite him. When is your date? I wouldn't sweat it until you start addressing invites. Also, I would be sure to include his name and not just "and guest."
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-not-to-invite-my-cousins-fiance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:07262ba8-998c-4850-a513-41daf23feb5ePost:7b574280-e3c7-4f77-b0d9-1e63f3ced82f">Re: Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Give the serial engager's FI a invite.     Put his name on the invite.  If they break up I would not extend a plus one, unless she gets engaged again.  Which considering her track record could happen I guess. **sorry she is like that, but I think sometimes it's better to be the bigger person and just roll with the punches.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>Very good idea--you must invite him, but do it with his name.  If they break up, unless she's engaged again by the wedding, you won't have a problem.</div>
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yes, you do have to invite him if they're "engaged," but if they break up, you need not invite her with a plus-one.
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  • SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-not-to-invite-my-cousins-fiance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:07262ba8-998c-4850-a513-41daf23feb5ePost:66559825-4379-4f0e-a486-7182d0d5ab3c">Re: Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes you have to invite her fi even if she has been engaged that many times. I hope she is not reusing the same ring for each engagement and she has given back the ring after each one.
    Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think she's ever had a ring. She never even met the last guy she was "engaged" to.</div><div>
    </div><div>And thanks everyone! I'm going to invite him by name and if they break up, I hope she'll take that as a hint to not bring someone else. </div>
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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-not-to-invite-my-cousins-fiance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:07262ba8-998c-4850-a513-41daf23feb5ePost:7fc77bc1-07ae-4da7-9f1e-2ac64a9a837f">Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin just got engaged to a guy she's known for two weeks. I'm not trying to judge her relationships too harsly, but this is her sixth engagement this year (no exaggeration-I just counted on facebook, six engagements since January, all different men). What she does is meet a guy, they get "engaged," and then they break up within weeks. I'm trying to keep my wedding small, so I wasn't planning on inviting her with a plus one. But now that she's "engaged," I have to invite him, right? Chances are she'll break up with him before my wedding, but I'm sending invites out next month, so if I invite him, I'd use his name. Should I just say "and guest," so she can bring whoever is next? Or write his name on there and if they break up, she'll just come alone? Not sure what to do here.
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    As crazy as it sounds, YES you must invite him if it is her significant other

    Is your cousin a teenager? Cuz I know they seem to love to write "married" or "engaged" on facebook when they don't really mean it.

    Are you sure each time it was a genuine engagement, and not just a FB one?!?

    seriousl, what kinda person gets engaged THAT many times in one year....
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  • SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-not-to-invite-my-cousins-fiance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:07262ba8-998c-4850-a513-41daf23feb5ePost:e26ddd84-272e-45af-8a8a-5743e2248fdd">Re: Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Is it rude not to invite my cousin's "fiance" : As crazy as it sounds, YES you must invite him if it is her significant other Is your cousin a teenager? Cuz I know they seem to love to write "married" or "engaged" on facebook when they don't really mean it. Are you sure each time it was a genuine engagement, and not just a FB one?!? seriousl, what kinda person gets engaged THAT many times in one year....
    Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

    <div>She's in her early 20s and yes, it is just a facebook engagement. There's never a ring or anything. Her last engagement was to some guy she met on facebook and she posted the fb message he sent her asking her to marry him when she changed her status to engaged. It's super annoying. But I guess I have to honor a facebook relationship as much as a real one?</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Honestly? Ask her what her real relationship status is when it comes time to send out the invites. Then you'll know for sure if you need to invite this guy or not. 
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    When it's time to send out the invitations, I'd ask her straight out, "hey are you going out with Facebook Guy?" If she says yes, invite him with his name on the envelope. If she say, "haha no, but can I bring him?" I'd would decline that.
    It's still... what 3 months until your wedding? They might still be together then or she might move on to someone else. I'd play this one by ear and hope for the best.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I would pretend not to see the status and ask her directly if she is seeing anyone, because if so, you'd like his name for the invitation.
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