Having two receptions

kmkgraham

I am helping a friend plan her wedding and reception here in San Antonio and then she iis having a second reception in MN in the summer.  What is the correct ettiquete to send out the invitations.  Do you send them allt together so everyone feels welcome to come to San Antonio if they can afford it.  Or do I send it to the people I know can make it to the San Antonio reception now and then I at a later send reception invitations to the people that are in MN and I know cannot make it?

Please advise,

Kelley

zippityb

Is this because she thinks people won't come to San Antonio? Because, I'll tell you, people will come to San Antonio.

tpender13

Send invites to everyone for San Antonio. If they would like, they can plan a PARTY in MN, but please don't call it a reception.

TriSaratops10

This.

[QUOTE]Send invites to everyone for San Antonio. If they would like, they can plan a PARTY in MN, but please don't call it a reception.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

BeeBee22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:076a2e2b-bc87-452a-b82c-350afbdf54e9Post:15e7584b-22f9-4224-ae24-ed28bd5fcacc">Re: Having two receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]Send invites to everyone for San Antonio. If they would like, they can plan a PARTY in MN, but please don't call it a reception.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

<div>This this this.</div>

laladypoet

2 receptions is kinda...obnoxious. a reception and a party, on the other hand, sounds better.

SaraD7

I am doing this two. We are having a destination wedding and then having a at home reception for everyone that couldnt afford to fly out Mexico or wasnt invited. I posted the that we were having an ARH on our Website and put a small note on the STD"s for Mexico about the AHR.

I sent out my STD's for Mexico a year in advance
the Invites for the Wedding 5 Months in Advance

And the ARH invites when we got back from Mexico. Some people were concered that people would feel bad if they were not invited to Mexico but for the most part I havnt heard anything.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:076a2e2b-bc87-452a-b82c-350afbdf54e9Post:980ce0f0-a878-423e-9f51-397507f0c5ea">Re: Having two receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]I am doing this two. We are having a destination wedding and then having a at home reception for everyone that couldnt afford to fly out Mexico<strong> or wasnt invited</strong>. I posted the that we were having an ARH on our Website and put a small note on the STD"s for Mexico about the AHR. I sent out my STD's for Mexico a year in advance the <strong>Invites for the Wedding 5 Months in Advance</strong> And the ARH invites when we got back from Mexico. Some people were concered that people would feel bad if they were not invited to Mexico but for the most part I havnt heard anything.
Posted by SaraD7[/QUOTE]

That's where you're doing it wrong.

TriSaratops10

I can't resist - it's "too" not "two"

kmkgraham

Thank you all for the input.  She is having two because his family is here and her family is in MN.  Plus her sister just got married, so the guest list is going to be the same and some of those people are not going to have the money to fly down here. 

I know that some people think that San Antonio is a destination that cannot be ignored but she does not believe most of the people will come.  She does not want to be rude but also wants to save money.

I suggested we put in the invitation the reception for San Antonio card and ther Reception for MN card because, then we won't hurt anyone's feelings that they are not invitied but give them the option and not choose for themselves. 

I just don't know what the proper ettiquete is. 

Bubbalub

There is no proper etiquette for two receptions, in this case. The reception immediately following the ceremony should be the only one. If she wants to throw a "Hey, we got married!" party in MN afterwards by all means, go for it. But don't call it a reception or do any wedding-specific things like bouquets toss, first dance, cake-cutting and all that jazz.

DramaGeek

Send one invitation to San Antonio with the reception info, and send it to everyone they want to invite.  Then, send a second invitation to a party in Minnesota, sent to everyone they want to invite.  They are two separate things, treat them as such.

BeeBee22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:076a2e2b-bc87-452a-b82c-350afbdf54e9Post:0f4d7194-2be1-408e-b0aa-5f60a3e865a4">Re: Having two receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]. I suggested we put in the invitation the reception for San Antonio card and ther Reception for MN card because, then we won't hurt anyone's feelings that they are not invitied but give them the option and not choose for themselves.  I just don't know what the proper ettiquete is. 
Posted by kmkgraham[/QUOTE]

<div>As the PP said, there is no proper etiquette for this because IT IS NOT A PROPER THING TO DO.  The MN people know it's not an actual reception because there won't be a wedding in MN.  You've been given good advice already which you don't seem to be hearing.  </div><div>
</div><div>Invite everyone to the wedding and reception in Texas.  Have her family spread the word in their group that there will be a casual "meet the new couple" get-together (NO gifts - NOT a reception) at a later date.  That way anyone who can't afford to attend the wedding won't feel pressured to do so.  </div><div>
</div><div>Invitations to the MN party can go out later, once you've figured it out. Calling the second one a reception looks like you're looking for another round of gifts - and there's really just no way around that.  To echo everyone: DO NOT SEND OUT WEDDING INVITATIONS WITH TWO DIFFERENT RECEPTION LOCATIONS. It's rude.</div><div>
</div><div>My brother and his wife dealt with this situation.  They were married overseas (near her family).  Most of our family attended, but many friends couldn't.  Then six months later they had a get-together (no gifts) in the States so people could meet the bride.  Anyone who had wanted to send them a wedding gift was free to do so via an online registry at the time of the wedding, whether they could attend or not.  The party was lots of fun   Don't call the MN one a reception, and you're on solid etiquette ground.</div><div>
</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:076a2e2b-bc87-452a-b82c-350afbdf54e9Post:0f4d7194-2be1-408e-b0aa-5f60a3e865a4">Re: Having two receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for the input.  She is having two because his family is here and her family is in MN.  <strong>Plus her sister just got married, so the guest list is going to be the same and some of those people are not going to have the money to fly down here. </strong> I know that some people think that San Antonio is a destination that cannot be ignored but she does not believe most of the people will come.  She does not want to be rude but also wants to save money. I suggested we put in the invitation the reception for San Antonio card and ther Reception for MN card because, then we won't hurt anyone's feelings that they are not invitied but give them the option and not choose for themselves.  I just don't know what the proper ettiquete is. 
Posted by kmkgraham[/QUOTE]

Even if it's true, this is none of her business and shouldn't affect who she invites. She should invite everyone she wants at the wedding, regardless of finances. Some people might surprise her and be able to make it. If a significant number of people have to decline, she can plan a casual party in MN to see them. This isn't hard.