rude to not include "and guest"?

TTiger03

sorry double post

jnic0319

Personally I think it's OK to give "and guest" to WP members but not all guests.  They should be allowed to bring a guest with all that they have done for you.  However, if you can give all single guests an "and guest" that's even better.

RoxysMama

We only extended the "plus one" to the wedding party.  Yes we did have singles attending the wedding but H and I were paying for the wedding on our own and could only afford a certain # of ppl.  It just made more sense to invite a cousin or close friend over friend's gf of 2 months whom i have never met.  People might be upset but they will get over it, especially if they know ppl there who they can talk to.

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-not-include-guest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0776ed57-806c-4fd1-8342-a392fbce759bPost:492f9ae2-9525-465a-8b35-5fad9441f7e1">Re: rude to not include "and guest"?</a>:
[QUOTE]We only extended the "plus one" to the wedding party.  Yes we did have singles attending the wedding but H and I were paying for the wedding on our own and could only afford a certain # of ppl.  It just made more sense to invite a cousin or close friend over friend's gf of 2 months whom i have never met.  People might be upset but they will get over it, especially if they know ppl there who they can talk to.
Posted by RoxysMama[/QUOTE]


I love your dress Roxy!!!!!

Lapontoona6

I've extended the and guest only to those who have been dating someone seriously or are living with their SO.  I think that's fair.
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I did it that way b/c a close friend of mine got married last year and invited myself but not my boyfriend of 2 yrs that I was living with...it didn't sit well with me personally. 

TTiger03

Wouldn't you just put the SO's name if you know they have been dating seriously/ living together?

Lapontoona6

you would think but my invite was for me only - my friend knew my SO - he told me that they just didn't have the money to invite all the SO's but my feeling is that if you've invited all the married couples and you have a friend who has been with someone for 2 years and has discussed getting married, it's pretty much the same thing just without the ring.  Needless to say I wasn't comfortable attending w/o my SO who was extremely hurt by that.  Oh well we all got over it and are fine now

TTiger03

Oh.  I meant, on your invitations.  Wouldn't you skip the "and guest" and put the name of the SO your original guest will be bringing.  

I have nothing against my friends and family bringing the person they are committed to, but I if they are at that level of commitment I should know their name or at least ask for it and not leave an open "and guest".

I was a MOH in a friend's wedding last year.  Sadly my fiance couldn't attend though he was invited.  When I told her he would not be able to attend she told me to just bring anyone as an "and guest".  I decided to bring my sister as we all grew up together and were all friends long ago, but the bride called me and said the "and guest" did not include my sister since the bride had not been invited to my sister's wedding 8 months prior.  She said, "I don't care who you bring.  I don't have to even know them as long as you don't bring your sister." 

I guess my point is, if she had not told me "and guest" then she would not have offended me and my sister.  I ended up going solo as I had been intending before she insisted I had to bring someone, since there was no one else I would ask to travel 3.5 hours for a wedding where they didn't know the bride or groom.  It turned out that 2 of the other bridesmaids (4 total) were solo as well and had not had the "just bring someone" instruction. 

Lapontoona6

wow that was really bold of her to be so directive about that - that's a little crazy and unfortunate.

i completely agree with you on the who gets the "and guest" addition, it really should be SO and that's how I'm handling it too.

RoxysMama

thank you jnic

SparrowSong

I seem to be in the minority on this, but I do believe part of being a good hostess is being sure of the guests comfort. And for singles, that means they have someone to talk to, sit with, and dance with. Especially at a wedding, and event devoted to coupledom, being a single can really make you feel like a pathetic Loser with a capital L. We invited all of our guests with dates, some brought one, some didn't. Point was it was their choice to do what would make them comfortable.

amylee545

I agree with the PP. I don't find it offensive at all if you don't give people a +1. I think most people nowadays are pretty understanding about this, as the economy is still pretty bad and most couples are paying for their own wedidngs. That being said, I think it's really nice if a +1 is given. We are paying for our own wedding and a lot of our friends aren't from the same circle of friends and won't know many people there so we are giving +1 to everyone. I want my guests to have a good time and be on the dance floor dancing, not sitting at their tables by themselves, and then leaving early because they're not having a good time. If you can't afford this, as I said before, I think most people will understand. I think it's only offensive if you don't allow people to bring their SO. If they're in a serious relationship, then I think it's imperative that they can bring their SO.

aprilmelissa1979

My FI and I will not be including a plus one for our single guests. We are paying for the wedding ourselves. I am only inviting the people I know. If a friend is dating someone, I would know but that does not necessarily dictate an invite. That takes the place of a guest I do know and would like to invite.

Just my opinion.