Worries About Snarky Guests

TwilightBride86

I am a young bride, and my better half and I are having a lower-budget, thoroughly DIY wedding - or as much DIY as we can. My question is this: We both have some members of our family we may not want to invite due to them not being supportive of us as a couple. But they are family - should we invite them and bury the hatchet, or not invite them?

Please help!

meme1212rlh

Its your day invite whom you want and do you really want non-supportive people present on your big day!

monkeysip

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worries-about-snarky-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0853c273-a0cb-46a0-bd3b-1c4673307e7fPost:ec974315-e7c3-4e22-9d7c-a29104851c3e">Worries About Snarky Guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a young bride, and my better half and I are having a lower-budget, thoroughly DIY wedding - or as much DIY as we can. My question is this: We both have some members of our family we may not want to invite due to them not being supportive of us as a couple. But they are family - should we invite them and bury the hatchet, or not invite them? Please help!
Posted by TwilightBride86[/QUOTE]

Are these people unsupportive because you're too young?  What does you being a DIY bride have to do with it?

This is really a personal decision.  You are not obligated to invite anyone (except significant others of your guests).  Just because someone is family doesn't automatically mean they get an invitation.

But if you think not inviting them may cause more drama than just inviting, then consider it.

The only thing I will add is that on your wedding day, I'm sure these people will act fine, and you won't be bothered at all.  You're going to be so happy and not even care if they're there. 

AddieCake

That depends on your family dynamic. We invited only the people we wanted to invite, regardless of where they fall on our family trees. Not everyone can get away with that and still maintain relationships with their family. If it will cause you any kind of drama in the future, you may have to adjust your plans. 

smalfrie19

I have the same thing going on and when it came to those kinds of questions i went to my mom and my grandparents and people who i trust to see what their opinions were. 

libby2483

Only you know your family dynamic and what repurcussions for excluding certain people will be.  You will have to ask yourself, "Is it better to exclude these people and their negative attitudes and deal with the drama that ensues? Or, is it better to suck it up and just invite them to avoid drama?"  

Amyzen83

"I have the same thing going on and when it came to those kinds of questions i went to my mom and my grandparents and people who i trust to see what their opinions were. "

This is a great idea! Talk to family members you are close with in your immediate family and see what they have to say.

thesunchasing1

In short, NO. 
The long version:
 A wedding ceremony is a time when loved ones express their commitment and dedication to one another.  It should be treated with the dignity and respect deserving of such a serious life-long commitment.  Unlike a BBQ, birthday party or family reunion, when  you hope to bring people together and build/strengthen bonds; the ceremony should only be for already established relationships.  For your wedding, you should already have strong bonds with the people you are inviting.  You should invite those people that support you, wish you well and that you wish to be a part of your future together. The ONLY people that must be there are the bride, the groom, a witness and an official.  Everyone else is extra and should only there to support the couple, witness the exchange and be supportive whether or not they like the idea (a few exceptions:  abuse, incest, fraud, etc.). Just like couples that have children to "save" their marriage, it may work.  But it also may fail.  The same goes for inviting people out of misplaced loyalty or obligation.  Why run the risk of failing when the stakes are so high?  

OwningAHome1981

If you want any kind of future relationship with these people, then I would say invite them.