Bachelorette and not wedding??

PeachRose22

Hello-
This is my first post.  But I have a question.  Is it a mjor no-no to invite someone to the bachelorette party (and possibly bridal shower) but not invite them to the wedding?

smokeybailey

Yes it is.

thanks for playing.

jajph1974

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09a8fea1-f66f-4a40-9c01-2240a22f0c75Post:ff49bd2f-7b3b-4b70-acc0-ddd328f0d77f">Bachelorette and not wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello- This is my first post.  But I have a question.  Is it a mjor no-no to invite someone to the bachelorette party (and possibly bridal shower) but not invite them to the wedding?
Posted by PeachRose22[/QUOTE]

Yes. It's a no-no

lauralaur

Definitely a no-no.

ExpatPumpkin

Yes, it is. 

Think about it:  The bridal shower and bachelorette party are to celebrate the upcoming wedding.  Why would anyone want to celebrate the wedding - by participating in gift-giving and often expensive parties - if she's not going to be invited?

Nebb

Yup. If you have to ask if its wrong, try putting yourself in the other persons shoes and thinking about how you would feel. That should help in the future.

iamjoesgurl

Why would you do that?  Surely anyone important enough to attend a bachelorette party or shower should be important enough to attend the reason you are having a bachelorette party and shower.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09a8fea1-f66f-4a40-9c01-2240a22f0c75Post:f818d16d-f65a-4388-94da-ed80761c6fdc">Re: Bachelorette and not wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I usually don't get too snarky, because I dont believe there's a clear-cut answer to many etiquette questions.</strong> But this one is not only obvious, but really strange IMHO. Are you serious? Why would you want to invite someone to the bachelorette party that you don't want at your wedding??? I'm really interested to hear the reasoning behind this idea!
Posted by penguingrrl[/QUOTE]

The whole point of having etiquette is to give universal guidelines about the way to act in social situations. So by definition there is a clear-cut answer.

riverjib

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09a8fea1-f66f-4a40-9c01-2240a22f0c75Post:2eea948e-bba7-472f-9173-f1209f9f1dee">Re: Bachelorette and not wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelorette and not wedding?? : The whole point of having etiquette is to give universal guidelines about the way to act in social situations. So by definition there is a clear-cut answer.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Theoretically you're right. That's the idea behind etiquette. But it's really not that simple anymore. If it was, this board would be superfluous, since we'd all buy an Emily Post book and follow it to the letter, since that would be the black-and-white set of rules.

Some things are simple, like this question. It would clearly offend probably over 90% of women to be invited to the pre-wedding celebrations and be excluded from the wedding itself.

But most posts I've come across here are murkier. There are considerations that were practically non-existent fifty years ago, because society was incredibly different. There is a more prominent mixing of cultures, and family situations are definitely more confusing now. Brides traditionally were "given away" by their fathers, but there are so many situations today in which there is no right or wrong answer to that question. Even simpler questions polarize this board, like whether or not to offer an open bar.

Most of the time, etiquette questions here are debated because etiquette varies depending on the region, family situation and traditions (which are often not the same for the bride and groom), financial status of the couple, age, religion, etc. You can't really generalize etiquette anymore.

higgldy_piggldy

I agree and disagree.

You shouldn't invite a non-invited person to a shower or bach party. 

However,  if you aren't inviting work frends (or other friends) because there are just too many of them and they really want to party with you at your bach party.....and they tell you they want to be included even though they know they won't be at the wedding....is that so wrong?

Catwoman708

YES, definitely a major no-no.  Don't invite people to pre-wedding events that are not also invited to the wedding. 

beatlesgirl25

Yes-yes, it's a no-no.

xoxpipahxox

I'm in agreement with the knowledgeable ladies here.  If you don't want them at your wedding, why would the idea of having them at your bachelorette be appealing?  It's a no-no.